How would you handle this situation?

[Mari-Cris]

My man has a travel website up featuring him and other people. Some of the people are of other women he has met and travelled with. This includes women he met before he met me.

Recently, he deleted all pictures and references to these women (without my asking). He assumed I was upset with him about this (because he posted an I'm sorry message on the site), but I wasn't. There was another reason I was less than my communicative self with him lately (and it had nothing to do with him; it was due to health reasons). He took my short-term silence online as a signal that I was not pleased with the content of his website.

First: As far as his website goes, I don't care what he did/whom he met before me. And his website did not cause any problems with me. However, I do feel glad that he took those pictures down.

Question: What should I say to him about it? We are apart from each other right now and will see each other this weekend and I want to have this discussion face-to-face. I have to explain the real reason for my lack of communication recently. I never told him how badly I was feeling recently, just that I didn't feel like my usual self. I will tell him what is going on health-wise when I see him. Shall I tell him to put the content of his website back up (even though secretly I don't want him to)? Or shall I just tell him what happened before he met me with whatever women is a non-issue and leave it at that and let him decide?

 

[Melody.Monroe]

This is ME speaking...what I would do and feel...

If I had a problem with the pictures...secretly or otherwise...I would let him know that the content of the website is not why I was acting the way that I was acting but I appreciate the fact that he removed the pictures from his website, and that it showed me that he cares about my feelings.

That way its not telling him to put them back BUT it is telling him that you weren't THAT concerned with the pictures being up there because you can't help who he knows prior to you. Then you can discuss the real reason for your distance...

 

[LongTimeComing]

I would mentioned that I noticed a change on the site layout and that I liked the new version better. Then I would mention that I had been sick for a couple weeks and that I haven't been my usual self.

I wouldn't mention how I felt about the pics, women, etc. And I wouldn't connect the two happenings. That's just me.

Sent from my PC36100 using PC36100

 

[Mari-Cris]

Dang, two different solutions and I see merits in each approach. Food for thought for me the next couple of days. Thanks for the advice!

 

[ThickHair]

I wouldn't mention nothing and KIM. Ya have to seperate business from personal things. His website is business.

If this is someone you see yourself marrying or being with long term, he needs an attractive site to make money. I would leave it alone since that is future income for him and potentially you. It isn't like it is a porn site. If it was, that could still be future money for you. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

Just my personal opinion though.

 

[Urban]

My man has a travel website up featuring him and other people. Some of the people are of other women he has met and travelled with. This includes women he met before he met me.

Recently, he deleted all pictures and references to these women (without my asking). He assumed I was upset with him about this (because he posted an I'm sorry message on the site), but I wasn't. There was another reason I was less than my communicative self with him lately (and it had nothing to do with him; it was due to health reasons). He took my short-term silence online as a signal that I was not pleased with the content of his website.

First: As far as his website goes, I don't care what he did/whom he met before me. And his website did not cause any problems with me. However, I do feel glad that he took those pictures down.

Question: What should I say to him about it? We are apart from each other right now and will see each other this weekend and I want to have this discussion face-to-face. I have to explain the real reason for my lack of communication recently. I never told him how badly I was feeling recently, just that I didn't feel like my usual self. I will tell him what is going on health-wise when I see him. Shall I tell him to put the content of his website back up (even though secretly I don't want him to)? Or shall I just tell him what happened before he met me with whatever women is a non-issue and leave it at that and let him decide?

You say the website content didn't cause any problems with you ... but according to the bolded ... it obviously does. Please just be honest with yourself and him.

He cares enough about you to take them down. If you tell him that you don't care and the content doesn't bother you ... when it obviously does, you'd be lying. Why not just treat him with the same respect he's treating you with?

How would I deal with the situation? I'd just admit that I was relieved he removed the content and tell him that I appreciate him caring enough to take the pictures down, then KIM.

 

[Mari-Cris]

You say the website content didn't cause any problems with you ... but according to the bolded ... it obviously does. Please just be honest with yourself and him.

He cares enough about you to take them down. If you tell him that you don't care and the content doesn't bother you ... when it obviously does, you'd be lying. Why not just treat him with the same respect he's treating you with?

How would I deal with the situation? I'd just admit that I was relieved he removed the content and tell him that I appreciate him caring enough to take the pictures down, then KIM.

You are right. I need to be honest with myself. They did bother me but not to the point of making me say something to him. Now that they are down, I am relieved. I will make it a point to be more honest with myself and him because this is someone I truly care deeply about.