How Would You Approach This Situation....?

G

GetHappy2014

Well-Known Member
So, now that Summer is nearing I feel I am ready to boo up. I have been enjoying singlehood for most of the Winter. Although I have those who have been pursuing me, I must admit I am really not into them.... I've got my reasons... So very recently while walking into my work building thru security and swiping in ( in the morning)... A Brotha on his way out of the building passes me... I feel him looking at me ... I look up and he winks... I get a little flustered... 'Cause I didn't expect it and yeah he's handsome. However, I do recognize him from the very infrequent corridor and cafeteria passings over the past 2 years. So now I can't get him off of my mind. I wonder is he is single, his age, his career, etc. I turn to God and ask if this is meant to be give me a sign. So later that day... Lunch time.... I run into him (rarity)...I try and play it cool and pretend I don't see him... As I am passing him he's looking at me, he says "hi".. I shyly say "hi" and keep it moving. The next day I am in another building for lunch as I am sitting at an outdoor cafe... I feel someone looking at me from afar...I look in that direction... lo and behold it's him. I continue to stare at him 'cause I don't want this moment to get away...to me it seems as if he is turning/walking in my direction... THEN his coworker (a woman) directs his attention back to her as she is talking and walking... My stare turns to her almost to say with my eyes...you are with someone.. He redirects himself and continues on the path with his coworker as she is talking ... Literally running her mouth :). Now he is really on my mind... Did I imagine what just happened...?Did he pick up on my vibe ? I get back to my office and do a little digging....I was able to narrow the possibility of who he is...to one person. If I am not mistaken I now have his phone number. Given this opportunity how should I reach out to him? I can never let him know how I got his contact information.
 
Hmm....
I wouldn't call him if I were you. If you know where his location is in the building I would instead plan some more "accidental " meetings. Be approachable and give him good eye contact. To call him seems a bit creepy to me. It might be off putting to him. He obviously likes you, give him a chance to ask you out.
 
Godsdaughter001 said:
Hmm....
I wouldn't call him if I were you. If you know where his location is in the building I would instead plan some more "accidental " meetings. Be approachable and give him good eye contact. To call him seems a bit creepy to me. It might be off putting to him. He obviously likes you, give him a chance to ask you out.
Click to expand...
Gods daughter... I do agree with you about the creepiness of it all... But I do know (without having to dig) which floor he works on... Because of his field of work it is common knowledge. If I am on his area/floor (which is a majority of men) it is kind of obvious I'm thirsty. Unless I am there for official business, which someone will probably ask me (just in passing) if I need assistance.
 
I would definitely not call him. He could be married. He doesn't even know you, right? So you would have to explain who you are, but how? Without it being awkward. He might just be a flirt. And just like you hunted him down, he could do the same. Being friendly and a smile is enough. I've said this a million times but be careful about getting caught up on someone you don't even know and hasn't proven themselves in any way, shape, or form.

Calling would seem very thirsty. I would find a reason to go to his floor before I called. But I wouldn't do either.
 
Ladies I really appreciate your feedback. I guess I am a little excited because it is not very often that someone will peak my interest. I am one of those who have lots of male friends but no attraction for them, kind of person. So when I am attracted to someone ( not just for their looks), it is hard for me to contain myself. But Hopeful you are right... I know very little about him. I must take it slow.
 
I understand. I didn't realize so many adult women had crushes till I got on this board. When you're younger it's just is what it is I guess and a natural thing. But when we get older it can be a little problematic. I would just be like yep he's friendly, yep he's handsome and KIM. When you see him again smile and be friendly. If he's interested he will say more. Otherwise he's just playing around and you are not a toy.
 
I had a work crush, I get how you feel. I wouldn't approach him though. I think if he's interested, he'll strike up a conversation with you next time you guys see each other. Mine spoke to me and said hi but never crossed the line. I found out he had a lt girlfriend and a child. I'd be embarrassed if I'd made a move.
 
So ladies once again I am gratefeul for your input and I am definitely heading the warnings. However, the only thing I failed to mention ...is that all those male friends that I previously mentioned...have their way of "looking out for me". So if I seem a little forward it is because I have to overcompensate for them "blocking my blessings". I am concerned that if he is trying to get some info on me....he's gonna get the "keep away" warning . What to do?
 
Yes, my co-workers/friends are blocking my blessings. A term I recently learned was "taking up man space". I have begun to decline their lunch outings (as friends) because to onlookers it looks like we're an item. One of my male friends recently mentioned to me that when when I first started working with the company (years ago) he had asked one of my male coworkers a brotha, "who was I" and my co-worker responded, "Oh she's married with children." This co-worker knew nothing about my personal life. I only dated one other guy at my job and then I got comments like , "I see you're making new friends". It became so uncomfortable we eventually stop seeing one another. Another one of my male friends made it a point to tell me that the guy I was dating, had asked another young lady out who we both knew ( this was years before I even started working there). I know It's weird. I actually decided to stop dating co-workers. But recently I decided if someone really interests me I am going for it. They are co-workers but I classify them as friends since we lunch together and share personal information (not too personal). I decided to start limiting our contact, since when I moved to a new position (on a different floor) they each were stopping by my office at least 3 times per week. I try the.... I'm really busy excuse but they still come. I am working on it. I really don't want to be mean, but I am getting annoyed..
 
Ganjababy, that is what I am hoping for. I have taken in all this advice and I have certainly slowed my roll... But if in a month, I haven't forgotten about him and nothing has happened ... I am hunting him down...:saythat:
 
Well... as an update... after declaring my plans to 'hunt him down' in my previous post... This morning as I am walking towards my work building, who do I see up ahead also walking to enter the building? None other than him... So I try to speed up my stride, not looking good though, trying to walk fast in heels and a bit windy (trying to keep my hair straight)... There are also other people funneling in towards the building... He's walking with, his Boss (I assume and they both look official) so I try to maintain my cool. I notice a guy is about to enter the building behind him so I think, "gosh darn"... He is going to pass the door off to him and he'll never see me. As he is about to enter the building he turns to hand the door off and he sees me coming up behind the guy... So he continues to hold the door as I approach...So... this time I do everything... Smile... Look him in the eyes...vibrantly say 'Good Morning' .... Say 'Thank you'... Check him out a little... Try to show as much interest as possible without looking thirsty... He responds with a smile and says 'Anytime'. :2inlove: So now I can move on.....'cause if he didn't pick up on my interest (he is not too bright...which I'll pass on)... If he doesn't pursue he is either, not available or not interested, which is cool. So I have canceled my plans to 'hunt him down'... Now the ball is in his court... I guess I just wanted to make sure I made my interest known. Thank you all for the advice ... And sparing me from possible embarrassment :eek:.
 
Good! If I were you, moving forward I would assume that he is taken:yep:, has a girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. Most handsome, employed, mannerable men are. I would also assume that he is just a friendly guy and maybe finds you attractive but that's it. That would be my assumption until he proves otherwise.
 
UPDATE.. For anyone still interested....So we had another run-in this morning....I must say I am really smitten over this guy... However I'm happy to report that he is not 'drop dead gorgeous'... Handsome yes...I say that to point out the fact that I am not just physically attracted to him... I am so excited over this, since I was starting to wonder if I was dead inside. I have had the opportunity to date some pretty successful and generous men i.e co-workers/friends (those I previously mentioned) but I just don't find myself attracted to them. The one I did briefly date... As he would tell me from across the table while on dinner dates 'all the feelings he had for me' I would literally be thinking to myself 'I do not feel anything for this guy'. At one point I tried to convince myself I liked him... So the fact that this guy has me all infatuated is refreshing... No matter how it turns out. Anywho... So as I am getting off the elevator about to walk thru the corridor to my department he comes out of the stairwell onto my floor... Boy do we lock eyes at that moment ... I think I lost my bearing for a second... He winks and smile and I say 'good morning' and smile. I quickly continue on my way (all nervous and flustered). Then within minutes I see him again as I am headed to the cafe... He's waiting for the elevator ... I see him up ahead ... So I think.. now I can say something...as I am approaching... This really tall guy (6.5 - 7) is standing right in the center of the hallway.. I try to maneuver around him... He doesn't realize I am trying to walk behind him (I'm petite) so then he begins to step back (yep... right onto/into me) I raise my hands to avoid being crushed.. AND THEN.. My guy steps forward and says 'Hey' to prevent this guy from stepping onto me.... Ok so now I am a little embarrassed .. I wave a thank you to 'my guy' and continue walking by and there goes my opportunity to say something. But, actually I know it was for the best, 'cause he should make the first move... I guess am just too eager...I am sooooo open to advice on whether I should help move things along or just wait to see what he does next...
 
man OP i never keep up with threads..never remember them past a day and am never really interested..but I'm staying up on this...lol
 
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