How to UN-INVITE a Family Member...?!

[femmedusiecle]

I really need help. I've been praying and praying about this matter.

Because of an extreme amount of family disturbances and drama, I made the decision not to invite 2 of my aunts (my mom's sisters) for the sake of PEACE; also, I don't want them reporting my wedding day to other family members...ya know, gossiping. So, one of my cousins (a daughter of one of the aunts who is not invited) told me that her mom is so mad and talking about me like hell to the other aunt, saying that no matter what they should get an invitation bc we're family. This, of course, upsets me but I stand my ground.

Yesterday, the same cousin told me her brother AND mom as well as the other aunt/aunts are now talking about my family members, my wedding; saying that he's going to bring his mom just to get back at me....?!??!

I INVITED her brother, this cousin of mine, because I thought we were fine! Granted, I haven't spoken to him since '07 when we were at another fam member's wedding, but...I've never had probs with him. Now that I know what he's doing I REALLY don't want him there.

He's already received my invitation, however, I want to un-invite him. If he shows up, I'll just have someone kick him out lol! Seriously guys, I need your advice.
I thought about writing a sweet, direct letter with a hint of sarcasm:
Dear ******,
How've you been?? I'm so excited about my big day that's around the corner! So excited, in fact, that I didn't realize I exceeded the max number of guests I can have at my venue by five! So, unfortunately, as crazy as this may be, I have to recant my invitation. I figured, family members who I'm not really close to or close friends whom I've known for years. It's tough because you ARE my cousin whom I admire and want to share the very special day with, which is why I invited you in the first place. No hard feelings, ok? If you did the same to me, I'd understand and respect your decision because there is ALWAYS a reason behind something.

Sincerely,
********

LOL....help

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Yikes, you may need to hire some security if you family is kinda crazy. But in your cousin's defense I would be kinda mad if I wasn't that close to you get I was invited and my mom was not.

Jealous people suck.

 

[ThickHair]

Do not uninvite him (tacky), but tell him that he can come but to not bring his mother. Make is perfectly clear if he brings her that they will both be escorted out.

I believe that a person can pick and choose who they want to attend their wedding, be damned. BUT don't expect if you exclude folks that they are going to be happy about it.

 

[Jazala]

Easier said than done but I would call him and calmly explain that I'm trying to have a drama free wedding. This is an important day for me and if you come, please don't bring your mother otherwise you both will not be allowed into the venue.

If he gets upset then listen to him vent for a bit then calmly say. Ok I can understand your feelings but this is my decision. Goodbye.

Be prepared to not have any futher contact with these family members again.

 

[changingSeasons]

Its your day and I think you should Un-Invite him rather than worrying and looking around on your wedding day.

It is Your wedding, your budget, and frankly if I havent talked to the person since 07, then unless we used to be super close, an invite is above and beyond.

 

[femmedusiecle]

Yes, this situation is very precarious. It's definitely a "What would Jesus do?" moment.
Anyone would want a drama free wedding. This is supposed to be an intimate affair for the both of us, where we've invited special people to share a very special moment with us. Why would I want someone there who speaks slanderously of me and my family??
I'm praying hard.

Thank you guys for your input. It's much appreciated.

 

[Jazala]

Let us know how it goes!

 

[maxineshaw]

OP, I do not envy you at all. I pray all of this works out in your best interests and that your wedding goes well.

 

[Puddles]

Do not uninvite him (tacky), but tell him that he can come but to not bring his mother. Make is perfectly clear if he brings her that they will both be escorted out.

I believe that a person can pick and choose who they want to attend their wedding, be damned. BUT don't expect if you exclude folks that they are going to be happy about it.

I totally agree with this.