How to go on after a loss of a loved one?

[Choclatcotton]

I just loss my husband on March 21st, one day before his birthday. I never wanted to end up a widow. It seems like such a defeat, a loss, a failure, a humiliation even though i know its not my fault. Life seems meaningless, meals are an effort, joy seems gone, hope seems to have fled. I dont even want a to get a job. My dh had complications of diabetes and kidney failure. Did i know it was coming? yes, but I took the risk of love and have no regrets. THe grief is crippling, I feel rejected, not angry but its as if the cup of hope has been slapped from my hands. We were only married for a year and eight months. I know I can marry again but who can top a true soul mate? I know with time the grief like a weight will ease, if i had a fast foward button on life I would push it. I love God and the Lord giveth and he taketh away. I just wish everything in life right now wasnt such an effort. All of his reminders are around me, the new house we bought together, Only God knows why. Truely Love is as strong as death. Thanks for listening

 

[Shimmie]

Dearest One... You bear the heart of woman who gave this man something that no one else would have done. You gave him life for the time he was here on earth. You gave this man, who was failing in health... life.

He was able to wake up each day with a certain joy in his heart, for he woke up to you. He was able to fall asleep in the soft and gentle comfort of your being next to his, your voice of love caressing his heart, which eased the pain of the illness he endured.

In his heart of hearts, your husband never knew that life could be so full of life, so full of joy, so full of prayers answered. God gave him this gift of life... God gave him you.

As far as humanity has advanced in this world since it's creation, the technologies, the flights into the universe and back to earth, with the ease as if taking a bus trip to the mall, man has yet to succeed in obtaining faith in love so true. Yet, when your love was put to the test, you disproved the doubts, the negative statistics, the lies of sterotyping one race against another... You dearest one, disproved and dispelled the lies of society and the statistians and the gloomy forecasters of love and relationships in marriage.

The two of you proved that marriage is indeed not only ordained but that it rules and reigns between one man and one woman, whom God hath joined together. Can you imagine the joy that this places in the heart of God our Father? Indeed it does. Indeed it does. For like Mary, the mother of Jesus, was singled out by God, 'blessed above all women', so were you. God singled you out to prove that there is a woman who would love this man, like no other woman in spite of what the time on the clock of life had planned.

You loved this man straight to Heaven. You, woman of Proverbs 31... loved this man in spite of the journey and in spite of the pain which was to come, which you are enduring now. You gave your full heart and loved this man into a place where he will be ever with the Lord.

Like Ruth... because of your faithful heart, your faithful dedication, God will honour and bless you. The pain you feel today is healthy for it is the process to joy. The precious memories you need never fear the loss of, for God has them. The tears you cry will never be in vain nor regarded as weakness, for each tear you cry are captured by the loving hands of God and placed into Golden vials and cherished by love.

I so admire you Dear Sister... I indeed so admire you. What a strong woman of love you are. You gave this man 'Life'... and it is now with him in Heaven with Jesus.

God bless you, sweetheart. I embrace you as a sister. I thank you for sharing such a beautiful heart in this Christian Forum. You are a true testimony of Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

[Choclatcotton]

Thanks so much Shimmie, words can express the balm that your words have been, I've been trying to cry like this for a week and your words seemed to release the pent up feelings inside. You must be a prophetess because i told you nothing of my life and you sumed it all up. THanks so much for your caring heart. In Christian love choclatcotton

 

[Shimmie]

Thanks so much Shimmie, words can express the balm that your words have been, I've been trying to cry like this for a week and your words seemed to release the pent up feelings inside. You must be a prophetess because i told you nothing of my life and you sumed it all up. THanks so much for your caring heart. In Christian love choclatcotton

Thank you for bringing reality into my heart. You truly are a woman of love and faith. I'm praying for you and I thank God for healing your heart, which is very easy for God for someone like you. Love heals love.

 

[Coffee]

Choclatcotton,

I am so sorry about the loss of your husband and soul mate. You will be in my prayers. Everything that you are feeling is normal, that's the beginning of the grieving. There's no easy way around grieving; everyone grieves differently, so don't allow people to push you faster than what you need.

Look to, lean on, talk with and cry to God, He knows the pain that's in your heart and He'll help you to deal with the loss of your loved one.

I wish there was something I could say to help the pain go away, and help time go by faster, but unfortunately only time and God will heal your heart.

Don't allow people to try and make you feel you have to be "strong". I've never quiet understood when people say "be strong". Strong for who? It was your husband and you need the release of crying and grieving, not holding your emotions in so other people will feel better.

Please feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk with.

May God comfort and keep you in His loving arms.

Coffee

 

[sidney]

So much healing in this post! We remember Naomi and Ruth and their losses. I am praying for you choclatcotton and encouraged by your faith through all you have been through.

Dearest One... You bear the heart of woman who gave this man something that no one else would have done. You gave him life for the time he was here on earth. You gave this man, who was failing in health... life.

He was able to wake up each day with a certain joy in his heart, for he woke up to you. He was able to fall asleep in the soft and gentle comfort of your being next to his, your voice of love caressing his heart, which eased the pain of the illness he endured.

In his heart of hearts, your husband never knew that life could be so full of life, so full of joy, so full of prayers answered. God gave him this gift of life... God gave him you.

As far as humanity has advanced in this world since it's creation, the technologies, the flights into the universe and back to earth, with the ease as if taking a bus trip to the mall, man has yet to succeed in obtaining faith in love so true. Yet, when your love was put to the test, you disproved the doubts, the negative statistics, the lies of sterotyping one race against another... You dearest one, disproved and dispelled the lies of society and the statistians and the gloomy forecasters of love and relationships in marriage.

The two of you proved that marriage is indeed not only ordained but that it rules and reigns between one man and one woman, whom God hath joined together. Can you imagine the joy that this places in the heart of God our Father? Indeed it does. Indeed it does. For like Mary, the mother of Jesus, was singled out by God, 'blessed above all women', so were you. God singled you out to prove that there is a woman who would love this man, like no other woman in spite of what the time on the clock of life had planned.

You loved this man straight to Heaven. You, woman of Proverbs 31... loved this man in spite of the journey and in spite of the pain which was to come, which you are enduring now. You gave your full heart and loved this man into a place where he will be ever with the Lord.

Like Ruth... because of your faithful heart, your faithful dedication, God will honour and bless you. The pain you feel today is healthy for it is the process to joy. The precious memories you need never fear the loss of, for God has them. The tears you cry will never be in vain nor regarded as weakness, for each tear you cry are captured by the loving hands of God and placed into Golden vials and cherished by love.

I so admire you Dear Sister... I indeed so admire you. What a strong woman of love you are. You gave this man 'Life'... and it is now with him in Heaven with Jesus.

God bless you, sweetheart. I embrace you as a sister. I thank you for sharing such a beautiful heart in this Christian Forum. You are a true testimony of Christ Jesus our Lord.