I've run into a lot of relationship threads on forums about what women do wrong (chasing men, being thirsty, "dating" a man who are not interested in them, etc) and the effects it has on women, (losing your dignity). This morning on Facebook, I saw a post by a younger girl that got me thinking. The gist of it was "All of this advice about what not to do, is great. Too bad it's always after the fact." It really stayed on my mind because a lot of women really don't get training (whether it's not having parents in the home, or whatever) and end up experiencing heartache the hard way. It doesn't even have to be anything life altering, just unnecessary heartache. But I know there have to be real answers women who seek them ---- even after the fact. So what advice would you give women on how to get dignity back? It could be books, EFT, tough love, etc. Keep it positive please & I appreciate seeing others' input.
How To Get Your Dignity Back
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C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
What has made a difference for me is choosing to love myself and choosing to accept myself and being confident regardless. There's no magic. Everyday I literally reaffirm how awesome I think I am. And I do this regardless of external factors. So on the days that my hair is looking crazy, or I'm feeling tired, or my nails are not done, I just know i'm the sh1t anyway.
I am currently struggling with a bit of weight gain and I have decided not to worry about it. I've decided that I'm attractive regardless. The end.
So in short choose love.
I am currently struggling with a bit of weight gain and I have decided not to worry about it. I've decided that I'm attractive regardless. The end.
So in short choose love.
Sosa
Well-Known Member
For me, I learnt what not to do 'after the fact'. After someone else's fact i.e.
Some things are pretty standard. Like, I already know dating a guy with lots of baby mamas is drama. Never even dated a guy with kids before, but I sure as heck know that lesson.
As far as getting one's dignity back, it really starts with self. No matter what happened to you yesterday, start treating yourself with some dignity today. Act like you are a woman who is worthy of honor and respect, and don't accept anything less from others.
And don't throw your pearls before swine, everybody doesn't deserve your time and energy.
Some things are pretty standard. Like, I already know dating a guy with lots of baby mamas is drama. Never even dated a guy with kids before, but I sure as heck know that lesson.
As far as getting one's dignity back, it really starts with self. No matter what happened to you yesterday, start treating yourself with some dignity today. Act like you are a woman who is worthy of honor and respect, and don't accept anything less from others.
And don't throw your pearls before swine, everybody doesn't deserve your time and energy.
I agree with the ladies above that it all boils down to you.
You have to find out what makes you unique and what makes you tick and focus on that. It also helps to be selfless, that is, realising there is more to life than relationships etc. When you are self aware, you are not easily shaken
You have to find out what makes you unique and what makes you tick and focus on that. It also helps to be selfless, that is, realising there is more to life than relationships etc. When you are self aware, you are not easily shaken
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
What may also help is therapy.
Talking to someone who knows nothing about you and can see things somewhat objectively makes a huge difference. I just finished doing CBT - Cognitive Behavorial Therapy. People underestimate how there are specific thoughts behind our feelings. CBT teaches you how to get to the root and deal with underlying factors.
It may seem unrelated, but nope. It can make all the difference.
Talking to someone who knows nothing about you and can see things somewhat objectively makes a huge difference. I just finished doing CBT - Cognitive Behavorial Therapy. People underestimate how there are specific thoughts behind our feelings. CBT teaches you how to get to the root and deal with underlying factors.
It may seem unrelated, but nope. It can make all the difference.
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metro_qt
Well-Known Member
I have some really good breakup books... I can list the authors later, but they basically show women how to conduct themselves as a breakup is going on, so that you don't ever have to lose your dignity.
Yes. A breakup hurts.
Your ego might be very, very bruised.
You might want him back soooooo badly...but it's not going to happen ...
These authors nicely explain why, and why it's best to keep it moving...for your own self worth.
A great website is also : http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com
Known as the love doctor, specializes in articles and posts relating to breaking up...getting back together with your ex or moving it along...
Yes. A breakup hurts.
Your ego might be very, very bruised.
You might want him back soooooo badly...but it's not going to happen ...
These authors nicely explain why, and why it's best to keep it moving...for your own self worth.
A great website is also : http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com
Known as the love doctor, specializes in articles and posts relating to breaking up...getting back together with your ex or moving it along...
Britt
Well-Known Member
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
All of the ladies have given great advice on here OP. It really all starts with YOU. 
Focus on yourself. Focus on truly loving yourself. It will be so much easier to see what you should do and NOT do in future relationships when you truly know yourself, what you want, and what your boundaries are.
Focus on yourself. Focus on truly loving yourself. It will be so much easier to see what you should do and NOT do in future relationships when you truly know yourself, what you want, and what your boundaries are.
Ivonnovi
Well-Known Member
Consider the first word in "Self-Esteem".
Add to that the sage advice from the previous posters and one should be good. As for the "before-the-fact" approach, set your own limits/boundaries and NEVER give up (or *compromise) your self-esteem and dignity.
* If you are making a *compromise you had better make pretty-darn-sure you know full well what you are compromising for; otherwise it's like "gettin-busy" without any protection......you run exposure to all kinds of risks!
Add to that the sage advice from the previous posters and one should be good. As for the "before-the-fact" approach, set your own limits/boundaries and NEVER give up (or *compromise) your self-esteem and dignity.
* If you are making a *compromise you had better make pretty-darn-sure you know full well what you are compromising for; otherwise it's like "gettin-busy" without any protection......you run exposure to all kinds of risks!
PeaceLover
Well-Known Member
Basically, work on yourself. The things you were insecure about...fix it. Live your life ans search for the things that make you happy.
IME, dignity is not something that can be held apart from you. You can't get it back, it's yours already. It's always yours. So if you feel like it's "lost" then there is no one or thing who can give it back to you. A woman who feels she needs to get her dignity "back" needs to let go and forgive herself for the decisions that she has made that weren't in her best interest and do better for herself in the future.
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