I’m glad I read into this thread more.
I too try to explain it’s not really the products I use, but more so just technique, and what I do concerning manual manipulation. (Or what I don’t do, in that sense).
I’ve come across ladies of all ethnicities who ask me if I do anything, eat anything, or put anything on my hair to make it grow it faster, and I usually tell then that product wise, and diet wise, I probably don’t do anything different than what they do. (Eat more veggies, get in enough protein, drink more water, etc.) When I first started my journey I used products that were familiar to all women across the globe in some form or fashion.
For ladies of our ethnicity, since we all can relate to a similar degree I just stress the importance of low manipulation, gentle detangling, protecting your ends, patience, and being as gentle as possible in all aspects from detangling to styling. Whether natural or relaxed or in between.
For women of other ethnicities who ask out of curiosity or have children with Afro textured hair, or cotton like hair, I try to give them a good basis of understanding. I used to try and karate chop anyone’s hand who tried to touch my hair, but now I don’t mind if it’s general curiosity, and not them being buttholes. (I would say the other word, but I’m trying to keep it rated G). I have a friend of Irish/Celtic descent who has pin straight hair, and she’s such a sweetheart, and one day I wore a super tight Bantu knot out and bless her heart, she couldn’t figure out where the rest of my hair went. So we’ve been talking about hair differences and texture differences, and I let her see how the texture of hair can differ and how to care for certain needs. She’s asked me what I’ve done to get passed the BSL sticking point, and I’ve explained to her it’s not so much the products I use because she was two breaths away from writing down all of the products I use and trying them, not knowing if they work for her or not. I told her, generally, across the board handling your hair gently and just protecting it in general (keeping it tucked away or twisted up or up in a bun), is half of the battle won already. Finding a good moisture/protein balance, and backing up off of high tension or high heat styling.
A satin bonnet or pillow case does wonders, and for me personally, and being gentle concerning tangles and not ripping a brush or comb straight through the hair. Deep conditioning when needed, and above all working with your hair, and not against it.
I think it’s also a lot to do with impatience. I’ve gone through it, and there’s plenty of other men and women who are looking for things that stimulate the scalp to an insane degree just to see growth. I think if people could learn to be patient and distract themselves with other things they enjoy, by the end of a six month period they can easily be looking at 3 inches or more of growth. I think it’s up the individual how much they are willing to be patient and observe and tweak and improve things for their unique hair care needs.