How of does he call?

Silver

Silver

Member
Hi ladies

I would like some more relationship advice. For those of you who who are not married how often does your SO call? I'm not happy with the number of times my man calls me per week. If we're serious shouldn't I know what he's up to sometimes? I'm trying to figure out if I'm happy with my relationship. And if I should forget it.


Thanks
 
i think 1-2 times a day is good. But I can go a few days without calling. Im not a phone whore. why does he always have to call you? cant you call?
 
Well, I have a few questions. How often is he actually calling you? What does he do? For example: Is he working double shifts at work? I think that everyone needs to give their SO "me time". He should want to talk to you every day, but that does not mean that he has the time to canoodle on the phone for two hours. When a man wants and needs you he will need to hear from you. But like what was said, you can also call him. But to really try to answer the question I think that a relationship should give you what you need and if the times he calls in not what you want let him know. Are you long distance? Maybe you can do more things face-to-face. Some people, like myself, really dont like to talk on the phone. HTH.
 
it varied by SO. i had one that called me 4x a day; 1x in the morning, 1x before lunch, 1x after dinner, and 1x right before i went to bed. it was sweet.

another called me every evening, about 2 hours before our bedtimes. it was sweet having his voice being the last thing i heard before drifting off...

ANOTHER called me very sporadically, and got upset when i didn't call him at least twice a day. he also used to always "forget" to call me back.

if you're not happy about how often he calls, why not talk to him about it? maybe you two can come to some kind of common ground. :yup:

with the last one, i told him that i didn't like having to call him all the time, because i was used to guys calling me. he then told me that he was used to girls calling him, and said that if i ever skipped calling him 2 days in a row, don't bother calling back.

about a week later we broke up. :nono:
 
Lately when I call he doesn't always answer, and doesn't aways call back. Even when he says he's busy and he'll call me back later, he doesn't.
 
Silver said:
Lately when I call he doesn't always answer, and doesn't aways call back. Even when he says he's busy and he'll call me back later, he doesn't.
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well at that point I would talk to him about it...OR give him a taste of his own medicine and not call him for a few days or ignore his calls. Im a spiteful SOB and I know everyone isnt like that so do what u feel is best.
 
Silver said:
Lately when I call he doesn't always answer, and doesn't aways call back. Even when he says he's busy and he'll call me back later, he doesn't.
Click to expand...

oh no... how much do you care about him? and how long have you been together? and what's his work schedule look like?

this is a HUGE red flag.

any guy that truly cares about you will stick to their word, and make it a point to call you back.

tell him (or leave him a voicemail since he not pickin up his phone :nono:) that this is unacceptable. if he can't make returning your call a priority, how will he ever make anything about you a priority?

i say cut your losses. he doesn't sound like he's as into this relationship as you are.
 
The guy that I'm dating currently calls everyday or every other day and sometimes more than once and in between that a TRILLION txt messages. I call him as well but he does the most. I think you should ask your guy about it and voice your displeasure about the situation.
 
poookie said:
oh no... how much do you care about him? and how long have you been together? and what's his work schedule look like?

this is a HUGE red flag.

any guy that truly cares about you will stick to their word, and make it a point to call you back.

tell him (or leave him a voicemail since he not pickin up his phone :nono:) that this is unacceptable. if he can't make returning your call a priority, how will he ever make anything about you a priority?

i say cut your losses. he doesn't sound like he's as into this relationship as you are.
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basically. I have male friends who are not dating me nor obligated to call who do so anyway just to see what Im up to.
 
poookie said:
oh no... how much do you care about him? and how long have you been together? and what's his work schedule look like?

this is a HUGE red flag.

any guy that truly cares about you will stick to their word, and make it a point to call you back.

tell him (or leave him a voicemail since he not pickin up his phone :nono:) that this is unacceptable. if he can't make returning your call a priority, how will he ever make anything about you a priority?

i say cut your losses. he doesn't sound like he's as into this relationship as you are.
Click to expand...

i agree with the above. whenever i dated a guy and he started not returning calls and telling me he's "busy," the relationship was on it's way out. what is your gut telling you op?
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
are you guys LD?
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If you are asking me, the answer is no. He is a 15 minute drive from me because he speeds. But he doesn't like picking me up to see him anymore because he's lazy and the high gas price. I don't drive so it takes me over an hour to get to him by bus. I have not seen him for a while, so I think it's important that he calls more often. When we do talk though, he talks about buying a house together and missing me and stuff. I texted him once because I was not happy that he didn't call me back when he said he would. Maybe the relationship is on its end, I should also mention we broke up and just got back together last month as of his request, so he should be trying harder right?
 
poookie said:
ok! :sigh of relief:

these LHCF acronyms are a trip! carry on :blush3:
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You was about to Whoop somebody's a** LOL :lachen:

Long distance.... yeah right!!!

I thought learning disabled too! LOL :lachen::lachen::lachen:

I am about to cry over here...... Whew!!!!
 
I wouldnt call him and tell him a damn thing! He requested that you get back together and now he is slacking on treating you right? WTF!!!
And he knows that all he needs to do to see you is drive a few minutes, vs you getting on a bus and coming to him to the tune of an hour, and his A** has not come up there to see you?

If you were my daughter, little sister, cousin, bf, stranger in a supermarket telling me this, i would tell you to get busy about your own life and forget him. He has missed the point of getting back together... or has gotten back with you and realized he doesn't want it.....

Even if he is planning on surprising you with some special and big (i highly doubt it)... he would be more attentive to you, as you have already told him that you want more communication. Plus in 2008 there are too many frigging ways for people to stay in contact.... Jeesh!!! These men!!!

Mama Girl!!! Keep It Moving (don't call him anymore)..... and don't take his calls for a while when he starts calling you.... he is being ignant!!!!! Really......

ETA: WMLB is a good book for this sort of stuff....
 
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hmm 15 minute drive is equiv to 10 miles...and he cant drive that far to see you AND will let you pay to get on a bus and take an hour long ride? he's not into you.:ohwell:
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
hmm 15 minute drive is equiv to 10 miles...and he cant drive that far to see you AND will let you pay to get on a bus and take an hour long ride? he's not into you.:ohwell:
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OP you got your answer right there. Move on to a man that is worth you time and treats you like you are worth his.
 
Ok I see. So do I ignore his calls? Explain things to him? Or tell him off?
Last time I tried to express my feelings he really cussed me out. So I think telling him off or ignoring him for a while are my top two choices. But I'ma need help, I'm weak when it comes to this stuff.
 
He cussed you out!!!!?? What type of yahoo is this?

IGNORE HIS PHONE CALLS and move on dear....

I am trying to be ladylike about this.....meaning he is really pissing me off here... and I don't even know his a**....
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
well at that point I would talk to him about it...OR give him a taste of his own medicine and not call him for a few days or ignore his calls. Im a spiteful SOB and I know everyone isnt like that so do what u feel is best.
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:lol: Word.

I would expect to be in touch with my man daily, but the type of guys I've had relationships with are the type who like to play and chat all day...a text here, an IM there, a quick I love you call, then a final "How was your day?" call at night. Like the other ladies, I have male friends (and ex-boyfriends :rolleyes: ) who call/text almost every day to check in and see what's going on in my world.

Also, if he is "cussing" you out, can't make the effort to see you and has excuses for everything, then I would not WANT to talk to him anyway. That, IMO, is unacceptable because there is a way to express displeasure or frustration without being profane or condescending (unless that's how the 2 of you communicate).

What is telling him off or ignoring him going to achieve? I think that's an immature approach. I would sit down and have an honest yet civil conversation with him about how I felt and ask him what his thoughts were on the matter. DO NOT ATTACK OR ACCUSE HIM. Before you speak or act, ask yourself how you would feel or respond if he did the same thing to you. But beyond that, there's no sense in putting energy into stooping to his level. If he can't do right by you, then leave him. All of the arguing, yelling, cursing, and mind games are not necessary. You deserve better so choose better.

If the two of you can not agree on acceptable boundaries and terms, then you may consider some other recourse, like time apart.

After reading the other things he's done though, I have to agree that he's either lazy or not into you and frankly, neither should be permissible. Again, I would have a grown up conversation about expectations, needs, etc. If he can not or will not meet you at your level, then gracefully bow out.

Good luck!
 
poookie said:
oh no... how much do you care about him? and how long have you been together? and what's his work schedule look like?

this is a HUGE red flag.
Click to expand...

ITA with that. It really is a red flag. It sounds like he is starting to lose interest. But I think that you should talk to him about it before you jump to any conclusions. Remember that actions speak louder that words. So if he says that he will try and do better and then doesn't-kick him in the keester:grin:
 
gmw said:
I wouldnt call him and tell him a damn thing! He requested that you get back together and now he is slacking on treating you right? WTF!!!
And he knows that all he needs to do to see you is drive a few minutes, vs you getting on a bus and coming to him to the tune of an hour, and his A** has not come up there to see you?

If you were my daughter, little sister, cousin, bf, stranger in a supermarket telling me this, i would tell you to get busy about your own life and forget him. He has missed the point of getting back together... or has gotten back with you and realized he doesn't want it.....

Even if he is planning on surprising you with some special and big (i highly doubt it)... he would be more attentive to you, as you have already told him that you want more communication. Plus in 2008 there are too many frigging ways for people to stay in contact.... Jeesh!!! These men!!!

Mama Girl!!! Keep It Moving (don't call him anymore)..... and don't take his calls for a while when he starts calling you.... he is being ignant!!!!! Really......

ETA: WMLB is a good book for this sort of stuff....
Click to expand...

GMW, I am over here mad too. He is playing games. He probably has met someone else, and doen't want to let her go so she can be happy. His behaviors are warning signs. Sometimes a man will do things to force you to leave them. Because they are too selfish and lazy to just be real and let you know. OP you really do not sound happy. I did not realize it was this bad when I first responded. He cussed you out?! Is that what you want in a man? You have to take care of you and your soul. I would never tell a person what to do, but I will say think about your needs and wants. Then, determine if he is meeting them. He p*ssed me off with that. Sorry for my rant.:look:
 
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