how long did/does it take you to get over your ex?
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MoniintheMiddle
Well-Known Member
what did u do to forget him?
I made sure I stayed active and got out and about and did me. Sitting at home doing nothing was detrimental to me moving on
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
No thank goodness
did u live together?
Nope.
were u miserable?
initially I was heartbroken although I ended the relationship because I wasn't getting what I deserved
did u cry a lot?
initially yes but I have some girlfriends who are some straight fools so that helped
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
I don't even think I had the urge at the time
did u start dating right away?
Nope. But i started enjoying life again...simple things
I made sure I stayed active and got out and about and did me. Sitting at home doing nothing was detrimental to me moving on
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
No thank goodness
did u live together?
Nope.
were u miserable?
initially I was heartbroken although I ended the relationship because I wasn't getting what I deserved
did u cry a lot?
initially yes but I have some girlfriends who are some straight fools so that helped
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
I don't even think I had the urge at the time
did u start dating right away?
Nope. But i started enjoying life again...simple things
Ozma
New Member
what did u do to forget him? I threw myself into my school work
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work? no, even though we
lived in the same neighborhood- I never went to restaurants, bars, etc where
I knew he might go.
did u live together? a long time ago, but when we broke up, no
were u miserable? yes, mostly because I saw his new gf- again, school
helped me to get over that- I had a 20 pg paper to write
did u cry a lot? no, I shed all my tears DURING our relationship
what did u do to curb coloring urges? focused on other things- geesh!
did u start dating right away? no, I have not dated yet and it's been 14 months- I am concentrating
on grad school and my career
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work? no, even though we
lived in the same neighborhood- I never went to restaurants, bars, etc where
I knew he might go.
did u live together? a long time ago, but when we broke up, no
were u miserable? yes, mostly because I saw his new gf- again, school
helped me to get over that- I had a 20 pg paper to write
did u cry a lot? no, I shed all my tears DURING our relationship
what did u do to curb coloring urges? focused on other things- geesh!
did u start dating right away? no, I have not dated yet and it's been 14 months- I am concentrating
on grad school and my career
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Kerryann
Well-Known Member
what did u do to forget him?
I didnt forget him completely but i started to hang out with friends
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
I dont see him but we saw each other on a drive by last week we were going in opposite directions
did u live together?
No but he wanted to
were u miserable?
No
did u cry a lot?
Probably 2 times to myself calling me a dummy
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
I dont have an urges and toys does nothing for me i need a mans body and hands touching me
did u start dating right away?
Yes 2 weeks after because i realize i never really dated so to hell with it but i told all of them that i dont want a man and dont expect anything not to mention im seeing other people if you cant deal with that then kick rocks
i want to enjoy life now not worrying about giving it up or stress and all sortts of crap
I didnt forget him completely but i started to hang out with friends
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
I dont see him but we saw each other on a drive by last week we were going in opposite directions
did u live together?
No but he wanted to
were u miserable?
No
did u cry a lot?
Probably 2 times to myself calling me a dummy
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
I dont have an urges and toys does nothing for me i need a mans body and hands touching me
did u start dating right away?
Yes 2 weeks after because i realize i never really dated so to hell with it but i told all of them that i dont want a man and dont expect anything not to mention im seeing other people if you cant deal with that then kick rocks
i want to enjoy life now not worrying about giving it up or stress and all sortts of crap
Dee_33
Live, Laugh, Love
what did u do to forget him? Started working-out more, spent more time with family, caught up on my reading
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work? Not at school or work but we live in the same area so i would see him on the way to work
did u live together? No
were u miserable? At first yes, but as time went on I got better
did u cry a lot? Only cried twice
what did u do to curb coloring urges? Didn't have urges initially, but when they arose I had a fwb
did u start dating right away? Nope, waited 6 months
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work? Not at school or work but we live in the same area so i would see him on the way to work
did u live together? No
were u miserable? At first yes, but as time went on I got better
did u cry a lot? Only cried twice
what did u do to curb coloring urges? Didn't have urges initially, but when they arose I had a fwb
did u start dating right away? Nope, waited 6 months
lesedi
All is well with me
I personally feel there is too much pressure to 'get over' an ex....If you're not there, you're not there. Just go with your feelings and OWN them. If you're anxious about moving on, you're not ready to. I'm not avocating months and months of self-pity but don't ever feel in a rush to stop feeling what you feel.
I just don't think there's a quick fix To heartbreak. It hurts. The pain knows when to go
I just don't think there's a quick fix To heartbreak. It hurts. The pain knows when to go
Bmack
Active Member
I agree. However, I think you should maybe take a day or two to regroup and then get on with your life. Do you, enjoy life because although it may feel like it your not dead! Hell, make it the time where you will focus on the things you put to the side or did not focus on. Most importantly love you, pamper yourself, and make sure you look good honey! It does not cost any money to do your own hair, paint your nails yourself and reconfigure your wardrobe. Do not spend the time pining when you have a whole life ahead of you. Some people lose themselves in heartache and stand in their own way of moving forward.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
what did u do to forget him?
Hanging out with friends a whole lot more, started crocheting, helping others, praying a lot, reading self help liturature and books, staying consistent with my exercise and health regimen, researching different health foods/suppliments that promote emotional wellness--recently started taking Sam-e
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
Nope, only when he comes to NY.
did u live together?
Nope, but he wanted to and still wants to.
were u miserable?
After everything came out...EXTREMELY
did u cry a lot?
Yep, until had felt my body couldnt possibly produce any more tears.
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
I simply try not to think about it. It's easy because I'm still hurting to some degree.
did u start dating right away?
No, I'm still in the healing process and unless Boris and Nicole divorce, I'm not interested in ANYBODY right now.
Hanging out with friends a whole lot more, started crocheting, helping others, praying a lot, reading self help liturature and books, staying consistent with my exercise and health regimen, researching different health foods/suppliments that promote emotional wellness--recently started taking Sam-e
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
Nope, only when he comes to NY.
did u live together?
Nope, but he wanted to and still wants to.
were u miserable?
After everything came out...EXTREMELY
did u cry a lot?
Yep, until had felt my body couldnt possibly produce any more tears.
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
I simply try not to think about it. It's easy because I'm still hurting to some degree.
did u start dating right away?
No, I'm still in the healing process and unless Boris and Nicole divorce, I'm not interested in ANYBODY right now.
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
what did u do to forget him? Threw my energy into work, reading the Bible, spiritual growth, my hobbies (painting & design), joining a gym, and joining bible studies.
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work? No. It was long distance ... but that doesn't make it easier. We talked daily while together, and once we broke up, that was hard to replace.
did u live together? No, but we were planning to.
were u miserable? Yes, definitely. He was my first love.
did u cry a lot? Yes, daily for 2 months. (We were together for almost 3 years.) Never thought I'd cry that much ever.
what did u do to curb coloring urges? To be honest, since we were long distance, our connection was built mostly on emotions than the physical. It's easy for me to curb it after the breakup.
did u start dating right away? I went on a couple dates w/i two months after the breakup and it was just miserable. I was comparing the dates to him ... so I stopped dating temporarily. Had to focus on moving on before bringing another person into the picture.
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work? No. It was long distance ... but that doesn't make it easier. We talked daily while together, and once we broke up, that was hard to replace.
did u live together? No, but we were planning to.
were u miserable? Yes, definitely. He was my first love.
did u cry a lot? Yes, daily for 2 months. (We were together for almost 3 years.) Never thought I'd cry that much ever.
what did u do to curb coloring urges? To be honest, since we were long distance, our connection was built mostly on emotions than the physical. It's easy for me to curb it after the breakup.
did u start dating right away? I went on a couple dates w/i two months after the breakup and it was just miserable. I was comparing the dates to him ... so I stopped dating temporarily. Had to focus on moving on before bringing another person into the picture.
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mscocoface
Well-Known Member
what did u do to forget him?
I made sure I stayed active and took care of my son who was a handful at the time.
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
No thank goodness
did u live together?
Yes, we were married for a loooooooooong time.
were u miserable?
The day I received the divorce decree I was a mess
did u cry a lot?
I had mentally left the marriage a while ago so no there was no crying at the end.
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
I don't even think about it, I kept myself busy.
did u start dating right away?
No I went to dinner with groups. Because of the length of time I was with him I knew I was in no shape to be dating anyone or gettnig serious with anyone right off. So I worked on myself and what I could do to improve myself and what if anything did I do to contribute to the demise of the marriage.
I made sure I stayed active and took care of my son who was a handful at the time.
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
No thank goodness
did u live together?
Yes, we were married for a loooooooooong time.
were u miserable?
The day I received the divorce decree I was a mess
did u cry a lot?
I had mentally left the marriage a while ago so no there was no crying at the end.
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
I don't even think about it, I kept myself busy.
did u start dating right away?
No I went to dinner with groups. Because of the length of time I was with him I knew I was in no shape to be dating anyone or gettnig serious with anyone right off. So I worked on myself and what I could do to improve myself and what if anything did I do to contribute to the demise of the marriage.
phynestone
Well-Known Member
what did u do to forget him? Spent time with family and friends. Worked out.
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work? No, praise God.
did u live together? No, but he wanted to.
were u miserable? Absolutely. I second-guessed myself for a LONG time, wondering if I made the right decision.
did u cry a lot? Yes, but I eventually stopped.
what did u do to curb coloring urges? Prayed, prayed and prayed. Read books.
did u start dating right away? Here and there.
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work? No, praise God.
did u live together? No, but he wanted to.
were u miserable? Absolutely. I second-guessed myself for a LONG time, wondering if I made the right decision.
did u cry a lot? Yes, but I eventually stopped.
what did u do to curb coloring urges? Prayed, prayed and prayed. Read books.
did u start dating right away? Here and there.
1) What did u do to forget him?
Concentrated on my job and continued to focus on being a good mother to my daughter. Worked out, avoided love songs and then eventually moved out of town to avoid seeing him or his friends.
2) Do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
Nope but I knew some of his friends so I knew what he was up to.
3) Did u live together?
At one time but we didn’t break up until 6 months after we got separate places.
4) Were u miserable? For awhile but I found it was just because at the time, I didn’t understand why everything went wrong.
5) Did u cry a lot? Gurl please..... back then I cried one good time but I cried so hard that I think my tear ducts straight malfunctioned and stopped working
. After that, it was just the blues until I learned to love again. 6) what did u do to curb coloring urges? Never had the urge.
7) Did u start dating right away? In a way. I didn’t want to enter into another relationship until I purged the old one so I dated a guy that I knew wasn’t interested in having a girlfriend. He was just what I needed. Good company with no complications.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Other note: What I learned from it all....
My ex ended up getting into a relationship with the girl that he cheated on me with (and she was well aware of my existence) so as bad as it sounds one of the ways I got over it real fast was when I found out that their relationship sank like the economy!!! From him calling her my name
, arguing in public 
to stepping out on her 
, their life was a bundle of hell as they tried to outgame each other and live without the “excitement” of sneaking around. 
So in the end, I realized 2 things. One, if you were the one that was wronged, you don't have too much to worry about or do about it. Karma is a universal law and it will do the job for you!!! Secondly, I realized that with all that ol’ girl went through to get him and try to keep him, she made me realize how much I didn't want to worry or go through everything she was going through - not for someone like him! So I say all of this to say that even if someone doesn't have the benefit of knowing what is truly happening with their ex when it's over, oftentimes a break up can be a blessing in disguise!
After looking at how things went down, I actually believe that God saw my ex for what he was, didn’t want me to have to deal with that kind of drama for the rest of my life and decided to just crack his whole game up and I'm better for it! 
Gotta love ‘im!!!Be Well, my sistas -
~ Hera
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Latomian
New Member
After four yrs together, it took me 3 mos.
what did u do to forget him?
I got a life. I didn't realize that I didn't have one before. Before I knew it, I was so absorbed in doing things for me, I had stopped thinking about him regularly. I focused on me, focused on happiness and healing and realized that he was going on with his life, therefore it was imperative that I did as well.
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
I moved away, luckily. I've seen him about 3x since then. It was weird, esp. the 3rd time b/c all the feelings I had for him were gone.
did u live together?
Nope. But we saw each other a ton.
were u miserable?
In the beginning, yes. He was having a baby with another woman (after 4yrs together) and treated me like I was an interference in his new relationship. Told me off and not to get into "their" business. Turns out the baby wasn't his and the girl made him miserable. It didn't make a difference tho. I was over him by then.
did u cry a lot?
In the beginning, almost every hour of the day. I didn't eat for 2 days (couldn't keep food down) and picked at food for a few weeks. I had never had my heart broken like that before so it was pretty painful. It was the worst kind of pain because there is no pain reliever for a broken heart.
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
Writhe in pain...lol. It was hard, because I love to colour. I can colour almost every day if the opportunity presented itself. I just bought a rabbit...and not the Bugs Bunny kind.
did u start dating right away?
No. I actually hadn't planned on dating for a while but nearly a yr later, this guy shows up and we become good friends. I find that I'm comfortable with him, we can talk about nearly everything and he likes me just as I am. It's weird b/c the same things I value in myself, are what he likes about me. It was a little shaky in the middle b/c he got the vibe that I wasn't over my ex and backed off. But, we're good now. Taking things slow. And it's cool.
It might have been easier for me because my relationship had a ton of flaws. After it was over, I never saw myself going back. My ex always used to tell me what he didn't like about me, to lose weight, change my hair, get my eyebrows thinner, etc. He would compare me to girls he thought were more attractive. Or, he would mess around with other women (found that out later) so, the love died with the relationship. I can only imagine that it would be harder for a breakup on amicable terms.
what did u do to forget him?
I got a life. I didn't realize that I didn't have one before. Before I knew it, I was so absorbed in doing things for me, I had stopped thinking about him regularly. I focused on me, focused on happiness and healing and realized that he was going on with his life, therefore it was imperative that I did as well.
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
I moved away, luckily. I've seen him about 3x since then. It was weird, esp. the 3rd time b/c all the feelings I had for him were gone.
did u live together?
Nope. But we saw each other a ton.
were u miserable?
In the beginning, yes. He was having a baby with another woman (after 4yrs together) and treated me like I was an interference in his new relationship. Told me off and not to get into "their" business. Turns out the baby wasn't his and the girl made him miserable. It didn't make a difference tho. I was over him by then.
did u cry a lot?
In the beginning, almost every hour of the day. I didn't eat for 2 days (couldn't keep food down) and picked at food for a few weeks. I had never had my heart broken like that before so it was pretty painful. It was the worst kind of pain because there is no pain reliever for a broken heart.
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
Writhe in pain...lol. It was hard, because I love to colour. I can colour almost every day if the opportunity presented itself. I just bought a rabbit...and not the Bugs Bunny kind.
did u start dating right away?
No. I actually hadn't planned on dating for a while but nearly a yr later, this guy shows up and we become good friends. I find that I'm comfortable with him, we can talk about nearly everything and he likes me just as I am. It's weird b/c the same things I value in myself, are what he likes about me. It was a little shaky in the middle b/c he got the vibe that I wasn't over my ex and backed off. But, we're good now. Taking things slow. And it's cool.
It might have been easier for me because my relationship had a ton of flaws. After it was over, I never saw myself going back. My ex always used to tell me what he didn't like about me, to lose weight, change my hair, get my eyebrows thinner, etc. He would compare me to girls he thought were more attractive. Or, he would mess around with other women (found that out later) so, the love died with the relationship. I can only imagine that it would be harder for a breakup on amicable terms.
I'm not happy that he did that to you or had you going through emotional turmoil but I am dayum sure glad that you had the opportunity to move on and find someone who appreciates you for you. You definitely came out on top!
~Hera
what did u do to forget him?
I regained my life back, slowly and slowly I had given up the things I enjoyed to spend time with him. I reconnected with myself and my friends and focused on exrcise healthy eating...and I found LHCF
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
We lived 5 minutes away from each other but thankfully as time went by we never bumped into each other...our schedules were usually different.
did u live together?
No, we didn't get to that ....we talked about it!
were u miserable?
Very...until I begun to see the faults in the relationship and realised that we were never meant to be - the signs were all there.
did u cry a lot?
So so so much...I had to get the waste man out of my system.
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
Focused on myself
did u start dating right away?
After a month or two..... I found my DH ....and I realised I had to leave the waste to find my mate!
I regained my life back, slowly and slowly I had given up the things I enjoyed to spend time with him. I reconnected with myself and my friends and focused on exrcise healthy eating...and I found LHCF
do/did u see him on a regular basis at school/work?
We lived 5 minutes away from each other but thankfully as time went by we never bumped into each other...our schedules were usually different.
did u live together?
No, we didn't get to that ....we talked about it!
were u miserable?
Very...until I begun to see the faults in the relationship and realised that we were never meant to be - the signs were all there.
did u cry a lot?
So so so much...I had to get the waste man out of my system.
what did u do to curb coloring urges?
Focused on myself
did u start dating right away?
After a month or two..... I found my DH ....and I realised I had to leave the waste to find my mate!
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