How long before you discussed these topics?

I think if marriage, children, family are what you want, the earlier you discuss them the better because time will pass and your time is not to be wasted. :yep:

Since I've started dating men 30+ I've noticed that they are more quick to bring up the marriage and kids conversations. I've been on second dates and had them ask me about when I wanted to start having kids or have I given any thought to how children might impact my career (because my career requires high amounts of travel). Or third dates where we casually meet for coffee and end up going to open houses.

Current SO - he started saying little things about marriage, being a provider, wanting his wife to have the SAHM option etc about 6 months in. At the time, we both were openly dating other people.
 
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Asap. If we don't gel on those things, we won't be together long so need in wasting time. We don't have to have a deep conversation about it, but I will ask what he's passionate about and what his idea family includes within the first several weeks.
 
Mis007 said:
As soon as you realise he's the one you wish to spend your life with !!!
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:nono2: First, we determine if he's on the same page. Then we figure out if he's the one.

You don't get all wrapped up in love and then start figuring out if you share the same values.
 
I think it was only a few dates in when my SO and I talked about it. But, it only took about a month before we were exclusive anyway, so it was early on.

Honestly, I've never thought that hard about when to talk about that. It's always been general conversation for me. And it helps to know early on if that person is on the same page WAY before you get too emotionally involved. I think that is where some people go wrong and why we have the high divorce rates. Why wait? I think it's just general conversation....I don't take it as being thirsty. First date? Maybe not, but if you're starting to spend time with someone, it's best to know sooner rather than later, IMO.
 
I remember having the best open and honest conversation with an ex about how we saw a life as a couple....that process made it clear that 'we' were NOT meant to be. It was pretty cool actually lol
 
Did he mention marriage to you? You stated that you put it all out there for him. All because you put it out there doesn't mean that is the trip he wants to take.
 
Hey ThickHair,
Since he had a requirement to have a child sooner rather than later, I also stated that I wanted to be married prior to having a child. He agrees and wants the same. Whether we're going to make it, lol who knows BUT again, my question is focusing on whether folks should even be discussing these topics early on in a relationship. Based on the answers here, I guess folks believe the earlier the better.
 
I wouldn't be dating a guy for long if I wasn't sure we were on the same page about looking to get married and wanting kids. Those are things you find out before you been dating long and becoming emotionally invested. So not long.
 
Fine 4s said:
Hey ThickHair,
Since he had a requirement to have a child sooner rather than later, I also stated that I wanted to be married prior to having a child. He agrees and wants the same. Whether we're going to make it, lol who knows BUT again, my question is focusing on whether folks should even be discussing these topics early on in a relationship. Based on the answers here, I guess folks believe the earlier the better.
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Got it. Yes, discuss as early as possible as soon as you know he is potential material.
 
As long as such a discussion is not approached like a POP QUIZ.....I don't think there should be any set timetable.
 
My SO and I discussed these things almost immediately. Like within a couple of weeks. We're not kids, we are both adults and we know what we want. We didn't feel there was any point in wasting time not talking about important issues that could have ended up being dealbreakers..
 
I agree with Avalon. Discuss as soon as possible when you definitely are exclusive and both want the same things. My SO and I have been dating for 3 months and have and still are discussing the topics of marriage, children, finances etc. He was the initiatior in the conversation to start. We are both in our mid 30's enjoy each others company and watching our relationship cultivate and blossom but at the same time aren't looking to date each other forever. Our goal is to be engaged by our one year anniversary.
 
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i think the sooner the better really - once you both know what you want from the relationship the sooner you can decide whether or not yoou want to be wth that person, good on you for having that talk

i am in my early 20s and i tell every man who wants any involvement wth me my expectations .. marriage before children etc so i dont waste my time and neither do they simple

hope all goes well
 
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