How important is chemistry between two ppl?

asubeauty

asubeauty

Well-Known Member
Do you feel as if you need to have chemistry with an SO? You know, that kind of "spark" or excitement that being around a certain person gives you...

Do you think it's necessary for a relationship, or do you think that you can be satisfied without it (if everything else in the relationship was okay)?
 
I absolutely think you should have chemistry, it's what keeps things alive and vibrant even after years of being together.
 
HoneyLemonDrop said:
I think there should be chemistry because if there isnt, somebody gets bored, cheats, leaves, etc...
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I agree with HoneyLemonDrop! There is a guy that I'm friendly with now, and he has a lot of amazing qualities, but there's no chemistry. I do think it CAN develop, but I also think it needs to be there.

Although, chemistry alone won't make a relationship last!
 
I think it's important. I've had a couple of short-term relationships where I felt no chemistry and I tried to force it. But I just got bored, found myself avoiding him, and the relationships just fizzled.

However, I don't think that chemistry is super high on the list when it comes to the super long-term. Compatibility is. I've witnessed couples who got married based on chemistry without giving enough thought to how their lifestyles and personalities meshed, and their relationships turned into a mess.
 
Opalsunset said:
I absolutely think you should have chemistry, it's what keeps things alive and vibrant even after years of being together.
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I really think that chemistry is VERY important. I had to break it off with a couple of boyfriends because it just wasn't there for me. I brought out the old 'I think we should just be friends' line because they were cool guys but :nono:...no chemistry.
 
freelove said:
Nope... we're just nosey lol.... :lachen: So... is he cute? :look:
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:lachen: He's relatively attractive... :lol: Looks REALLY good on paper, would make the greatest boyfriend ever... but sparks aren't there...:sad:

And what did this thread do to deserve one star? Dang, some of us are bored... :lachen:
 
Chemistry is important. It's not the only thing to consider but, especially when you've been together for a long time, it's nice to have something spark when things seem to be getting routine. Without that spark, compatibility can leave you with you a workable roommate situation. JMO.
 
chemistry is important...I always just seem to lose interest in...and ignore folks I don't have chemistry with. I always feel terrible for doing so...but I can't seem to stay interested. I might be motivated to actually answer their calls once in a while if I think about how good they look on paper or if i am extremely bored... It sounds awful...but it's happened before. Same thing with guys...when they don't feel it for you anymore...that's how they tend to act.

I'm not saying that I expect 4th of july fireworks throughout everyday of my relationship...but I better see some sparks and feel some flames at first...it seems easier to fan flames and reignite fire that was there before...then trying to generate them where they have never been.

I've never really experienced that "growing/learning to love " thing that so many talk about...maybe it's possible. But me, personally...I'd get bored and curious...
 
sunshinebeautiful said:
Ugh, don't you HATE that?!?! OK, so how long have you known him? Have you give it a fair shot to see if some chemistry might develop?
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I'm gonna give it longer, see what happens over the summer... maybe something might develop... :yep: He's just really different from anybody I've ever dated, so maybe it's that....
 
cocoberry10 said:
I agree with HoneyLemonDrop! There is a guy that I'm friendly with now, and he has a lot of amazing qualities, but there's no chemistry. I do think it CAN develop, but I also think it needs to be there.

Although, chemistry alone won't make a relationship last!
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I am in the same boat. There is this great guy that is everything I thought I wanted but there is no spark.. Nothing.. I enjoy spending time with him.. Just no spark.. What do you do? My mom says that it can develop and most of the time you have the chemistry and nothing else.. No job, no ambition, none of the things that are really important other than chemistry..

Which was what I had with my last boyfriend.. I was so in love with him. but I would be sparking like an electrical fire, with no home. no toliet paper, etc...
 
asubeauty said:
:lachen: He's relatively attractive... :lol: Looks REALLY good on paper, would make the greatest boyfriend ever... but sparks aren't there...:sad:

And what did this thread do to deserve one star? Dang, some of us are bored... :lachen:
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It happens. I knew a guy like that. My mom loved him as well. I used to joke that she had a priest and marriage license ready in the closet for us when he popped the question. I even TRIED to like him. He was nice, good-looking, educated, wealthy, a gentleman, Christian, his family was old money but very humble and not snobby at all. But there was NADA!!! No matter how much I tried to manufacture it. Sometimes I think it is because deep down I believe he is gay:ohwell:.
 
vivmaiko said:
It happens. I knew a guy like that. My mom loved him as well. I used to joke that she had a priest and marriage license ready in the closet for us when he popped the question. I even TRIED to like him. He was nice, good-looking, educated, wealthy, a gentleman, Christian, his family was old money but very humble and not snobby at all. But there was NADA!!! No matter how much I tried to manufacture it. Sometimes I think it is because deep down I believe he is gay:ohwell:.
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Ok. that last line... I mean Woo.. That is something.. LOL...
 
vivmaiko said:
It happens. I knew a guy like that. My mom loved him as well. I used to joke that she had a priest and marriage license ready in the closet for us when he popped the question. I even TRIED to like him. He was nice, good-looking, educated, wealthy, a gentleman, Christian, his family was old money but very humble and not snobby at all. But there was NADA!!! No matter how much I tried to manufacture it. Sometimes I think it is because deep down I believe he is gay:ohwell:.
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:look: Aw, dang, no chemistry could = gay?

He does always compliment me on my "beautiful accessories." :ohwell:

Just joking... Kind of... I don't know now...:lol:
 
asubeauty said:
:look: Aw, dang, no chemistry could = gay?

He does always compliment me on my "beautiful accessories." :ohwell:

Just joking... Kind of... I don't know now...:lol:
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Well... as long as he keeps the compliments vague... now if he had said "Homegirl, you are workin' them Seven jeans" *flamboyant Z snap* I would tell you to go on and get gone. :yep:

But I say just wait and see how things develop while keeping your options. He might surprise you one day.
 
asubeauty said:
:lachen: He's relatively attractive... :lol: Looks REALLY good on paper, would make the greatest boyfriend ever... but sparks aren't there...:sad:

And what did this thread do to deserve one star? Dang, some of us are bored... :lachen:
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Chemistry is essential to any relationship. The hardest guys to let go are the ones who have everything going for them--looks, trustworthy, love you to death--but for whatever reason, you just don't like them. Really, I think if chemistry is not there really early on, it just is never going to be there. I tried really hard to love this one guy, but the harder I tried, the more I realized I didn't love him.
 
freelove said:
Well... as long as he keeps the compliments vague... now if he had said "Homegirl, you are workin' them Seven jeans" *flamboyant Z snap* I would tell you to go on and get gone. :yep:

But I say just wait and see how things develop while keeping your options. He might surprise you one day.
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Whew... okay... :lol:

I'm waiting it out. Plus we are both going away for the summer, so we can just keep in touch and see how that works out.
 
asubeauty said:
:look: Aw, dang, no chemistry could = gay?

He does always compliment me on my "beautiful accessories." :ohwell:

Just joking... Kind of... I don't know now...:lol:
Click to expand...

It is not because of the lack of chemistry.

Just little things about him that I noticed that made me think he is gay. I tend to be attracted to manly men so those quirks killed the chemistry.
 
andrea said:
Ok. that last line... I mean Woo.. That is something.. LOL...
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I keep waiting for him to come out of the closet. I mean, he isn't flamboyant or anything, but in all the years I've known him, he hasn't dated or if he's not into dating, used a woman for sex or anything.

I haven't even ever heard him express interest in any woman. And he is a good looking guy and all those other attributes I mentioned before. I mean, you'd think he would've had at least one GF or date by now...

That happened with another friend of mine, very sexy, smart and all good stuff but he would not get serious with any women, and he explained it away with "religious values" (even if that were true, he could still date, just no touching). It was just a year ago he came out of the closet.
 
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