How do you move a man into the "friend zone"?

[Glib Gurl]

So, I met a guy last week. (No, not this guy, another one ) After a phone call and a few texts, I feel pretty confident that I'm not interested in him that way. But he's a nice person and I'd like to keep him as a friend. How do I *do* that exactly? Do I just keep refusing dates but yet answering phone calls? Do I come out and say, "I think we'd be better as friends"?

Hmmm . . . .

 

[hopeful]

Why not go on one date and see how it goes? At least you will have given him a real chance. If a guy told me that after a few calls and texts he just wanted to be friends I personally would be insulted and would have no interest in being friends, but that's just me, maybe I'm too sensitive.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Why not go on one date and see how it goes? At least you will have given him a real chance. If a guy told me that after a few calls and texts he just wanted to be friends I personally would be insulted and would have no interest in being friends, but that's just me, maybe I'm too sensitive.

No that is a good point . . .

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Yes, decline dates is cool. I do that a lot, but I will talk to them on the phone, and eventually I start talking about other guys. Sometimes I will hit guys with the famous and we have all heard it, I am not looking for anything serious at the moment, but we can hang out. The underlying meaning is I am not looking for anything serious with you, since you are really cool we can still go out. I make it a point to use the term friend frequently. For example, answer their phone calls by saying, " Hey Friend." I have a lot of males friends and if they stay interested that's on them, but I do make it very clear where we stand without being mean.

 

[kittikat24]

If you want to be friends, I wouldn't do anything private with him (phone calls, dates etc) If you do text, make sure its not flirty
Treat him like a brother (more like family). Joke around, be yourself, have fun, but don't take extra steps that could be interpreted as interest, especially if he's secretly hoping you are...

 

[southerncitygirl]

don't make yourself so available so it doesn't lead him on. when men are really into me but i ain't feeling them....i make sure to do this as not to hurt their feelings. the other ladies upthread gave you great advice.

 

[aribell]

Yes, decline dates is cool. I do that a lot, but I will talk to them on the phone, and eventually I start talking about other guys. Sometimes I will hit guys with the famous and we have all heard it, I am not looking for anything serious at the moment, but we can hang out. The underlying meaning is I am not looking for anything serious with you, since you are really cool we can still go out. I make it a point to use the term friend frequently. For example, answer their phone calls by saying, " Hey Friend." I have a lot of males friends and if they stay interested that's on them, but I do make it very clear where we stand without being mean.

I think this approach can easily backfire and make you look like the bad guy unnecessarily. What is intended to be subtle, playful ways of hinting that you just want to be friends could just as quickly be construed as coy flirtation.

I don't think it's mean to be honest. It would be mean to allow him to keep pursuing you and remain interested without making it clear where you stand.

Maybe you should go out on a date to give him a chance; but if you're still not interested after that, I think you should just tell him that he's very nice and that you appreciate his interest, but you would prefer to simply remain friends.