How do you make your SO feel NEEDED?

Does your current SO feel this way?

Maybe you don't need to so anything and the feeling of being needed isn't an issue for him.

I would start by asking him bc we could come up with a list of ways, however, they might not be effective with YOUR SO.
 
OP i know what you mean.
Personally one of my angles is always say that i'm useless/don't want to do DIY. Guys love that and start talking about their skills.
 
^ This reminds me of a thread where we discussed how we were raised to do things ourselves from earning our own money to taking out the trash....I should look for that thread again.
 
Fine 4s said:
^ He asked me what he added to my life or something like that. I froze and never answered.

Tips, tips, tips please!!!!!

PS- Any idea would be great. If I think he'd respond I'll use it if not I won't.
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Well, what does he add to your life? I think you should be able to answer that easily. Only you know what your guy does for you: make you smile, make you feel safe, helps you with this or that? I mean why do you want him in your life? Why do you want a relationship, period?
 
Fine 4s It all depends... Does this SO bring little? or he brings nothing at all....

From experience, I say the best thing to do is not to flaunt your money in his face and just let him be the man.You have to be content with living according to his standards and not yours... And just save all your extra money except he asks for help e.g Assuming you like to eat sushi but it costs a lot... and he thinks sushi is extravagant... either eat it when he isn't there, learn to make it, or don't eat it at all... It's all about his ego. As long as you live according to his standards somewhat, and you let him be the "provider", you'll be okay.
 
This reminds me abt the how to stroke a man's ego thread VERY GOOD THREAD! Ill lookit up and bump it up.
 
milknhonee said:
This reminds me abt the how to stroke a man's ego thread VERY GOOD THREAD! Ill lookit up and bump it up.
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I think I remember that thread. Very good thread indeed.

I compliment his cooking all the time. He's already a really good cook, but I basically go over the moon for his food just to add that extra umph. Always thank him for packing my lunch because I'd probably end up going hungry. Thank him plenty times for always keeping the gas tank full and changing the oil when needed. Plenty of attention when he picks a movie up from Redbox... and the list goes on. Basically I compliment him a ton so he knows I notice and do appreciate it all. We are stark opposites when it comes to education and pay, but that is my man and I don't ever want him to feel like I can do it all solo even when I'm sure I can.
 
Why do conversations about men and relationships always resort to how much money they bring in? Is that all they're good for? EVEN SOs (NOT husbands)?? A relationship surely should not be reduced to something so material, unemotional...

I have yet to tell a guy that I "need" him... granted, I'm fairly young... but "need" isn't really in my vocabulary like that. I can show appreciation, love, etc. without needing to shout out "baby i neeed youuu!"
If asked what he brings to my life, that'd be easy to for me to answer, bc I would think about how he makes me FEEL, not whether he's helping me pay xyz, or buys me this and that, bc that's not a measuring stick in relationship for me at this point...

(and potentially at any point, TBH. If my future husband asks me what he brings to my life and I want to thank him for the things he does for me financially, it will be voiced in the FEELINGS, not in words like "you pay for xyz, you put me in a big house. No no:nono:. More like, "honey, you ensure that your family never goes without any necessity, yada yada yada":yep:)

I think when men talk about wanting to feel "needed," they're really talking about wanting to feel "appreciated." So, focus on that instead.
 
I bumped up 2 but those were not the ones I was thinking abt. I thought it was a sticky but I can't find it.
 
Carlita you are right! Perhaps it is more about appreciation.
If it is, I want to have that covered too
 
Everyone in a relationship want to feel they bring something to the table and someone told me and I agree if the person does support you when you need them whether financially or emotionally there is no need for them. No one need anyone who brings them down. My man make ways more money than me and I asked what do I do for him because I can't help financially and he says I'm very supportive and I give him the push he needs and that we can talk for hours about anything and feels like he can tell me everything and that I'm his best friend as well, so if your man does the same or you can think of other ways other than financial then you could list some from him :)
 
I totally agree with hopeful. If you can't answer this one easily, you may need to re-evaluate the relationship. As other posters have mentioned, stroke his ego and I'll add, on the intangibles. For example, and this is not ego-stroking, this is true, my SO brings balance to my life. He completely balances me out in areas where I'm lacking. If someone asked him, he'd state that too. He's very supportive and there's a host of other things.

I've always made more than SO and though he had caught up, I moved to another state and make even more now. We both have houses and cars, so I don't need him financially, but it's the intangibles that make the relationship anyway. If all of that stuff were gone, good job, house, car, money, what about him would keep you there? That's rhetorical.

As an aside, I'd be hurt/pissed if my SO couldn't tell me at least one thing that I added to his life.
 
chocolat79 said:
I totally agree with @hopeful. If you can't answer this one easily, you may need to re-evaluate the relationship. As other posters have mentioned, stroke his ego and I'll add, on the intangibles. For example, and this is not ego-stroking, this is true, my SO brings balance to my life. He completely balances me out in areas where I'm lacking. If someone asked him, he'd state that too. He's very supportive and there's a host of other things.

I've always made more than SO and though he had caught up, I moved to another state and make even more now. We both have houses and cars, so I don't need him financially, but it's the intangibles that make the relationship anyway. If all of that stuff were gone, good job, house, car, money, what about him would keep you there? That's rhetorical.

As an aside, I'd be hurt/pissed if my SO couldn't tell me at least one thing that I added to his life.
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Thanks for your thoughts...

In general I don't like to give too much detail (unless absolutely necessary).
 
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