HairPhoenix
New Member
Strangers trying to figure out your hair? People who come up to you in a public place and want to touch your hair? People who demand to see whether or not you have tracks or a wig? People who want to argue about it?
I have always had these experiences since I was a child. Sometimes it can be flattering. Sometimes it can be friggin' annoying and downright offensive! Some people, even when you are nice about it, still want to be mean and say nasty things.
I was taught to respect my elders, so I go gentle with the little old ladies. But I was remembering a particular experience that I had one night in a grocery store. I had just gotten a touch up the day before and my hair was looking good. My hair is really thick so when it's relaxed it bounces and swings a lot. It was a couple of inches past shoulder length at the time. Some people act like it's particularly unusual because I am dark, because of their perceptions of stereotypes.
So I was at the checkout digging for my money and this fool of a man behind me (you know he was AA) shouted out really loud, "She got a weave! That ain't that girl's hair! That's a weave!" I looked at him like he was crazy and told him that it was my hair. He got loud with me, had people staring, and demanded that I prove it and show him my tracks. I said, "NO! It's my hair and I don't have to prove anything to you." We started going back and forth with him insisting that my hair was a weave and me saying that it wasn't. Then that fool raised his hand and tried to grab my hair! I leaned away from him and pushed his hand away. Oh, it was about to be on!!
I got my change, grabbed my bags, and walked away. Then I had to hear him still yelling behind me, " She thank (yes, with an "a") she white!" I was so mad that I wanted him hurt... badly.
I know I say now that I don't care what other people think about me. But everytime I think about that situation, I get mad all over again and I wish that I had handled it differently. There is a part of me that wishes that I had never acknowledged his comments. Perhaps if I did that, then the situation would not have escalated. But pride made me speak up. I have nothing against weaves, but I just could not stand there with everyone staring at me thinking that my hair was not real.
I'm a lot better about these things now that I'm older (thirtysomething), but my feelings are not entirely made of steel. I just want to know what do you all do when you are faced with situations like these?
I have always had these experiences since I was a child. Sometimes it can be flattering. Sometimes it can be friggin' annoying and downright offensive! Some people, even when you are nice about it, still want to be mean and say nasty things.
I was taught to respect my elders, so I go gentle with the little old ladies. But I was remembering a particular experience that I had one night in a grocery store. I had just gotten a touch up the day before and my hair was looking good. My hair is really thick so when it's relaxed it bounces and swings a lot. It was a couple of inches past shoulder length at the time. Some people act like it's particularly unusual because I am dark, because of their perceptions of stereotypes.
So I was at the checkout digging for my money and this fool of a man behind me (you know he was AA) shouted out really loud, "She got a weave! That ain't that girl's hair! That's a weave!" I looked at him like he was crazy and told him that it was my hair. He got loud with me, had people staring, and demanded that I prove it and show him my tracks. I said, "NO! It's my hair and I don't have to prove anything to you." We started going back and forth with him insisting that my hair was a weave and me saying that it wasn't. Then that fool raised his hand and tried to grab my hair! I leaned away from him and pushed his hand away. Oh, it was about to be on!!
I got my change, grabbed my bags, and walked away. Then I had to hear him still yelling behind me, " She thank (yes, with an "a") she white!" I was so mad that I wanted him hurt... badly.
I know I say now that I don't care what other people think about me. But everytime I think about that situation, I get mad all over again and I wish that I had handled it differently. There is a part of me that wishes that I had never acknowledged his comments. Perhaps if I did that, then the situation would not have escalated. But pride made me speak up. I have nothing against weaves, but I just could not stand there with everyone staring at me thinking that my hair was not real.
I'm a lot better about these things now that I'm older (thirtysomething), but my feelings are not entirely made of steel. I just want to know what do you all do when you are faced with situations like these?