where it's all about her?
She only calls when her and her hubby are having problems, and since you are so counselor-like, you are always there to listen and such.
You even give her financial advice, book rec's etc, go above and beyond what you can do (like writing resumes for her, applying for jobs, etc)
Then, when things are cool, she doesn't call or text, etc?
I have a friend like this (long distance friendship) and I am pretty much over her.
I used to consider her a friend for various reasons.
But, I can't deal with their marriage and the things she puts ME through.
He acts a fool (more so than normal) and she is calling me, texting me blowing me up like my fam doesn't need me.
Then, when things are good, I dont hear from her.
This last time, I called her three times and texted her twice and she never returned my call.
She finally texts me like "oh we talked and we good", but it's like she does NOT take any of teh advice I give her.
I'm not telling her to leave him, I am giving her coping skills, and good advice on self sufficiency.
She just never minds that and goes about her business only to keep getting stomped on.
Get the #A$%%%!!!# out of here!
I was just thinking about posting something about this.
My best friend (at least, I thought of her as that before my SO came along--then I saw what the genuine article is like)
done each. and. every. thing on your list; that's why I quoted both your posts in full.
I have done every last thing you have, from spending hours on the phone with her at a time talking her through her mess to researching self-help books (I don't read that genre, so I seriously had to research long and hard for ones I felt comfortable recommending ) and then buying them on Amazon and sending them to her across the country.
The last time we spoke was in August when my family hosted her at their house for a weeklong vacation to give her a "break" from the divorce mess she's going through.
In October or Nov, we played telephone tag for a week or two but when we never connected, apparently we both dropped it. (I figured her divorce and dating life were going fine, hence her willingness not to call--shrug).
I sent her an e-card and text on Christmas and never heard back.
Suddenly last week I get a text: "Where are you? mIss you! Let's talk soon!"
I'm honestly not mad at her because I'm quite busy myself and I don't have a ton of time to talk to her. But even moreso it's because for many years now, it's been more of a "task" for me to talk to her, not a break. We never fight, but it's so frustrating to be the emotionally more together and savvy person. I'm always the one telling her "Girl, you are better than this; don't get back into the cycle of emotionally abusive men" and "that dude you are dating is emotionally unavailable. You're not even divorced from the first emotionally unavailable loser!"
I'm the one always advising her. But if I so much as bring up any minor issue in my life/family/job, I swear I can almost hear her eyes glaze over--I can hear it in her voice! She starts murmuring "mmh-mmm, oh, wow, that's interesting, Yanks. Say, remember what I was saying about Bob? Do you think he thinks that I'm too messed up from my divorce to be able to move on so soon?"
Even back in college, although we did do things together (movies, club, restaurants), it was mostly centered around me tutoring her in how to live better and improve her self-esteem.
With my SO, I learned what a true best friend is. It's so relieving to have someone who supports you and raises you up as much as (actually, in his case more than) you do them!
I'm actually going to call her this weekend. Sigh. I know she must be going through something and need a sounding board/advisor if she went out of her way to contact me.
