How Do You Deal With The Pain Of

Focus on you and new goals as an individual. Spend time thinking of ways to pamper yourself and follow through on those thoughts. You have to fill your time, so you spend less time thinking of what if's. For the hard days like an anniversary, let yourself cry just be ready to move on the following day.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
 
onyxdreams said:
Focus on you and new goals as an individual. Spend time thinking of ways to pamper yourself and follow through on those thoughts. You have to fill your time, so you spend less time thinking of what if's. For the hard days like an anniversary, let yourself cry just be ready to move on the following day.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
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Thank you so much and I cried a little earlier but now I'm doing better!
 
Time will heal all of your wounds if you focus on being positive and loving yourself. Whatever happened between you all, happened. For whatever reason you guys have decided to end the relationship. Don't feel you've wasted time, or lost years. That is not true. Every moment was meaningful.

But if you're going to turn the page, turn it knowing you are wiser, and a more complex, dynamic, beautiful woman as the result of your past partnership.

Pray (or meditate) past the pain. Look the the lessons. Surround yourself with good people. Have some fun, flirt a little, and if there is someone you trust - get some. :look:

This too shall pass. *hugs*
 
This is all still fresh. Make sure you've done everything that you can to put your marriage back together.

If you are still looking at your anniversary as if its a time to celebrate you are not done. At the same time don't allow his actions to hurt you especially if they are done for that purpose. When men are done they tend to be done. They don't care what day of the week it is.

Don't beg him and don't make him think you can't live without him. Show him a stronger side of you and watch his reactions.
 
Yup! Do you best to And pray to be able to let it go. I went thru something similar and one day I was like I've said all there is to say. I've fussed every way possible. I've been every kind of mad. And what had it gotten me? Nothing.

Letting go isnt easy. But it will happen when you set uour mind to it. Don't rehearse things said and done. Don't rehash bad times. Don't get mad at anything he does. Just be calm and ask yourself how zyx reaction will serve you. Does it serve you in any way? Does it change the hurtful action? Will it make him see that you don't deserve that treatment? Will it bring you back together and happy?

"Let it go. Let it go. Let it go....." That was me all day until I actually started letting it go.

But have something else to focus your attention on and build towards. You got this. Your best days are ahead of you.
 
I got his answer today and he doesn't want to give me any support because a lawyer told him I wasn't entitled to anything because we don't have children! I'm all messed up and don't know what to do! I've been crying all day and I'm not sure what to do! It hurts so much!
 
Curlykutie said:
I got his answer today and he doesn't want to give me any support because a lawyer told him I wasn't entitled to anything because we don't have children! I'm all messed up and don't know what to do! I've been crying all day and I'm not sure what to do! It hurts so much!
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How dependent are you on him financially?
 
Curlykutie said:
It's easier said than done!
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Check your state's legal aid society. There are lawyers who perform pro bono work as part of community service. You should be able to find one who can help you or one who will charge you a fee after the verdict. Kids or not you are entitled to a settlement of some sort. You were his wife and indirectly contributed to his success. You cooked, cleaned and slept with him and you have the legal papers to show it. Don't give up. The house that you lived in can be sold and you get half the proceeds as his wife. Don't let him cheat you or intimidate you out of what you deserve. Don't sign anything at all without going through the court system. 18 years is a super long time not to get anything kids or not. He needs to pay for your time.
 
This man must think I'm nuts! Just to vent because I have a plan. But he wants me to agree to half of his 401K and 400.00 per month for a year. He also has a retirement fund but he doesn't want me to have half of that!!!LOL he doesn't understand that his 401K and retirement fund are marital assets! I got a plan, me and GOD are going to get what I'm entitled too....... have a great day everyone!
 
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