How did you learn to color?

J

JudithO

Well-Known Member
Without graphic details...

I waited to color till i got married @ 25... DH and I are each other's first's... sometimes i feel like i dont know what to do... lol... we r trying to learn as we go.. but is there a coloring manual of some sort? Lol... or we'll just do it better as the years go by? We try to be as christian as we can... so coloring movies r not our preference... i mean coloring doesnt feel bad.. sometimes it feels good.. other times... it just feels bla... is that normal?
 
Girl I just want to congratulate you for waiting. I'm really proud of you and your hubby. Wish more people were like you guys. I can't begin to tell you about all these men I date and after the third date they feel you NEED to give it to them. It really makes dating difficult. I say you and your husband should just experiment with one another. In the words of a pastor of mine.............time will teach you and if you need to, ask the lord to help. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to, especially since you guys are following his word!
 
There are books and websites that aren't pornographic that speaks to sexual techniques and making the experience more pleasurable. Karma Sutra, tantric sex
books for example. Some holistic places have workshops.

For the most part, it's trial and error. Communication is a large part. Do you and hubby talk about what you like and dislike?

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Thanks much Brighteyes35 lesedi

I ask because some people just claim that they are so good at it and i wonder how they became so good.. is it a matter of the more you do it, the better you get?

Im not saying we've never watched a coloring movie before.. we have but in my experience they make u want to do things that are kinda objectifying... and somehow, i cant feel good doing things that i ha

So i guess my question goes to people that are 'good' at it.. good meaning it always feels great to color and they make their SO's feel amazing each time... how did you learn?
 
for me, it literally was a case of the more i had, the better i got. But more importantly, the more comfortable I got. I advise you to let go and discover each others bodies, and with time you'll twist things up. What's great is that you list it with your hubby so you can feel completely safe!
 
Shinka yeah we talk about likes/dislikes... but the problem is that my emotions are just so tied to coloring... like if im not feeling him.. i cant color... naturally im very ticklish... when im not feeling him i feel so uncomfortable if he touches me, but if im feeling him i dont want him to stop touching me.. i feel bad sometimes cos i almost feel there is something wrong with me... sometimes i just wnt to color just cos.. or just cos he wants to... when we r feeling each other, i can color everyday, but when we r nto that great, we can go 3 weeks without doing anything... i feel so bad sometimes and think maybe if i color better id want it more....
 
I picked up skills from my partners... so... doesn't look like that's an option for you... lol. I think if I were in your case I would do a lot of reading and start trying things out. I would NOT try to learn from pornos or anything like that.
 
My DD's biofather and I were together for 2 years and he was an effective teacher. :look:

My DH, on the other hand, was not so experienced so it was frustrating at first. We were celibate before getting married so I didn't know what to expect from him.

He spent a good amount of time at this site called The Marriage Bed. http://site.themarriagebed.com/front-page I have to say that I've noticed a difference. :yep:
 
judy4all said:
Without graphic details...

I waited to color till i got married @ 25... DH and I are each other's first's... sometimes i feel like i dont know what to do... lol... we r trying to learn as we go.. but is there a coloring manual of some sort? Lol... or we'll just do it better as the years go by? We try to be as christian as we can... so coloring movies r not our preference... i mean coloring doesnt feel bad.. sometimes it feels good.. other times... it just feels bla... is that normal?
Click to expand...

I think it's normal. I waited until I was about the same age as you and I was very intimidated.

I really started to enjoy it more when I just allowed myself to be myself and didn't feel guilty for not knowing.

I just talked to dh about what he liked and he asked me what I liked and why. He laughed and talked and tried different things. Some of it is about chemistry but a lot of it is just about feeling good about whatever you two decide to do together.

Read books, ask questions....and I agree with avoiding porn
 
meesch said:
I picked up skills from my partners... so... doesn't look like that's an option for you... lol. I think if I were in your case I would do a lot of reading and start trying things out. I would NOT try to learn from pornos or anything like that.
Click to expand...

I want to emphasize the bolded. Porn is very unrealistic.

Communicate what you like and as you two experiment more you'll remember what he likes. Also, have fun with it. Someone might get hurt from smacking or biting a tad bit to hard but, hey, it's a learning process. Keep on going. You'll never be a complete master at it. There will always be more to learn. :yep:
 
I say practice, read sexy stories, get some books , try new positions to see how you like it...just experiment. When he does stuff to you, instruct him, tell him when it feels good and when to move on. And in return have him do that for you.

judy4all said:
@Shinka yeah we talk about likes/dislikes... but the problem is that my emotions are just so tied to coloring... like if im not feeling him.. i cant color... naturally im very ticklish... when im not feeling him i feel so uncomfortable if he touches me, but if im feeling him i dont want him to stop touching me.. i feel bad sometimes cos i almost feel there is something wrong with me... sometimes i just wnt to color just cos.. or just cos he wants to... when we r feeling each other, i can color everyday, but when we r nto that great, we can go 3 weeks without doing anything... i feel so bad sometimes and think maybe if i color better id want it more....
Click to expand...

I think that's normal. I dont want to do anything if I'm upset with the person. i think women's emotional ties are stronger whereas men can fight with you then tap you on the shoulder in the next second.

meesch said:
I picked up skills from my partners... so... doesn't look like that's an option for you... lol. I think if I were in your case I would do a lot of reading and start trying things out. I would NOT try to learn from pornos or anything like that.
Click to expand...

Depends on the vids, some are actually well done. Although you do have to weed through a steaming pile of crap to find the good ones.

And of course, there are amateur vids. But if you aren't interested in any of it, then its a moot point.
 
ladysaraii said:
I say practice, read sexy stories, get some books , try new positions to see how you like it...just experiment. When he does stuff to you, instruct him, tell him when it feels good and when to move on. And in return have him do that for you.



I think that's normal. I dont want to do anything if I'm upset with the person. i think women's emotional ties are stronger whereas men can fight with you then tap you on the shoulder in the next second.



Depends on the vids, some are actually well done. Although you do have to weed through a steaming pile of crap to find the good ones.

And of course, there are amateur vids. But if you aren't interested in any of it, then its a moot point.
Click to expand...

YMMV. I have never seen anything in a porno that would be remotely helpful or instructive to my sex life. And I've seen quite a few :look:
 
i think communication is very important as well as relaxing... i'm a very mentally stimulated person so if you dont get in tune with my mind your not gonna have much luck with my body...i like all senses to be heightened so i think you guys should spend time just stimulating each others mind with great convo and then spend time touching each other...communicate what feels good and what makes you uncomfortable...just cuz you've been physical doesnt mean you guys really know each others body...takes some couples yrs just to realize their partner got a new scar lol
 
judy4all said:
Shinka yeah we talk about likes/dislikes... but the problem is that my emotions are just so tied to coloring... like if im not feeling him.. i cant color... naturally im very ticklish... when im not feeling him i feel so uncomfortable if he touches me, but if im feeling him i dont want him to stop touching me.. i feel bad sometimes cos i almost feel there is something wrong with me... sometimes i just wnt to color just cos.. or just cos he wants to... when we r feeling each other, i can color everyday, but when we r nto that great, we can go 3 weeks without doing anything... i feel so bad sometimes and think maybe if i color better id want it more....
Click to expand...

It sounds like you have to work harder at making up faster. Early on in marriage its so easy to get mad at each other because you have so many expectations of your spouse.

Your emotions are tied to sex. That's so normal. Don't stay upset long ... Make yourself talk it out. Then kiss to make up. And let nature take its course.

It will work out, but you have to talk a lot. Maybe more than you feel like it.
 
Sex is great, but I don't think it's possible for it to be the BOMB.com for both partners, EVERY time you have sex, so don't worry if it's good some days, and not so great other times. I learned a lot of techniques from Cosmopolitan magazine. They have a sex tips section on their website too. I think two key ingredients for being good at coloring are enthusiasm and communicating with your partner.
 
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