How did/do you know it was/is time to let him go..
- Thread starter Encore
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MissMeWithThatIsh
New Member
It pretty much screams and shouts from within. I don't even want to consider trying anymore.
And it's time to go when I've met someone else I'm "friendly" with but already considering a future with.
And it's time to go when I've met someone else I'm "friendly" with but already considering a future with.
Encore
New Member
Mhm
So nothing he's ever done that made you really have to sit and seriously reconsider staying with him?
I mean like he starting to pull away.
Calls not answered or calls back hours later
Stops spending time with you.
...Like that stuff lol
Lol @ lauryn its always easier when another guy comes along.
So nothing he's ever done that made you really have to sit and seriously reconsider staying with him?
I mean like he starting to pull away.
Calls not answered or calls back hours later
Stops spending time with you.
...Like that stuff lol
Lol @ lauryn its always easier when another guy comes along.
MissMeWithThatIsh
New Member
Bunny77
New Member
From what I understand, it is normal at the beginning of a relationship for a guy to have second thoughts and start pulling away... but he should come back sooner rather than later.
I'd say to wait for a minute before doing anything hasty, but be watchful and be prepared for the fact that you might be needing to make your exit as well. I would NOT ask him what's wrong, start getting angry and telling him that he's changed or any of those things that it's so tempting to do.
Just act cool, act like you don't care that he's been acting shady and do your thing. If he's the right guy for you, he'll come back around... and if not... NEXT!
tiara76
New Member
I can't speak for anybody else...my serious relationships have always been me drifting away....the only time I experienced a serious relationship where he pulled away and ran away was when i thought it should be over and I kept being told it wasn't internally,so that was definitely a little confusing for me at the time.........
and it wasn't at that particular time
when it was time..he was still right there in the picture clinging to me and it hurt my heart to no ends to leave him
tiara76
New Member
I would agree with that....except I would/did ask..he just didn't want to tell me what was wrong with him at that point...so he pulled away and I let him do him even though in my heart I knew it wasn't over...there really is no need to fight or lash out at him....I kept it movin, met other people and he popped back up told me what was wrong with him and it it went from there up until it couldnt go anymore...
Bunny77
New Member
See, I guess it depends on how long she's been with the guy. If you're in an established relationship where a degree of trust has been established, then sure, you can talk to him about what might be going on.
If this is still in the early "just dating" process, then I think that can be a waste of energy. I don't know where the OP is, timewise, with this guy, so that would make a difference to me in whether I said something or didn't.
But we definitely agree that fighting and lashing out isn't worth it!
Encore
New Member
Um... would be 3 years in April.
i honestly believe he wants to go out and have fun.
we used to be together almost every day bysides work and school.
He met this new friend, this guy and ever since then its like he found the brother he never had!!
he doesnt wanna hang out with me anymore.
Barely calls...if so its less than 2 minutes literally.
because of this we fought alot and he just like shut down.
and i feel like no matter what I cant force him to be ready to stop playing and settle back down. So i'm gonna let this caged bird fly...
I tried to talk to him, if i do he lashes out. yells and hangs up! and its always me callin back....
YES SAD I KNOW.
i just dont know how long i will sit here and wait for him to go back to how we were.
H NO he is not ghey.
i honestly believe he wants to go out and have fun.
we used to be together almost every day bysides work and school.
He met this new friend, this guy and ever since then its like he found the brother he never had!!
he doesnt wanna hang out with me anymore.
Barely calls...if so its less than 2 minutes literally.
because of this we fought alot and he just like shut down.
and i feel like no matter what I cant force him to be ready to stop playing and settle back down. So i'm gonna let this caged bird fly...
I tried to talk to him, if i do he lashes out. yells and hangs up! and its always me callin back....
YES SAD I KNOW.
i just dont know how long i will sit here and wait for him to go back to how we were.
H NO he is not ghey.
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Encore
New Member
Todays the 22nd. So i guess ill wait about a month. After that it is forever a done situation.
Im the one stressing and trying and he is putting NO EFFORT WHAT SO EVER. He's used to me always doing that. I feel like I cant even wait the full month because i dont know what the hell he is doing out there. I cant honestly say I'll still be waiting. I am not answering anyof his calls, emails or AIM anything. If he wants me, he will have to go hard and prove it to me. Im just really tired of this. I feel like its just not gonna work anymore. It makes me sad tho cause i love him still
This relationship has seriously jaded me
Im the one stressing and trying and he is putting NO EFFORT WHAT SO EVER. He's used to me always doing that. I feel like I cant even wait the full month because i dont know what the hell he is doing out there. I cant honestly say I'll still be waiting. I am not answering anyof his calls, emails or AIM anything. If he wants me, he will have to go hard and prove it to me. Im just really tired of this. I feel like its just not gonna work anymore. It makes me sad tho cause i love him still
This relationship has seriously jaded me
iCandyc
Well-Known Member
Well in my situation I was with someone for several years, he did sooo much dirt and i stayed, for some reason I always forgave him b/c i never felt like I was ready then one day I woke up and realized my worth and walked away and never looked back! Its hard to explain its just something with in. No matter how hard things get you wont leave until your ready!
tiara76
New Member
how do you know he is not gay or bi..or whatever??
its more common than u think relationships between guys, esp when they seem closer than close and that is definitely one I would question him about and him shutting down and arguing with me over another dude wouldn't help me with not ponder it def could be something more
however either way...he's acting funny and if you feel you are worth more than that let him go.....no need to fight and try to force somebody to be a certain way
and to the bolded
this will cause you alot of heartache
clinging to the past and how things USED to be...
esp when something has "changed'
if n e thing you would be better off wanting things in the future to get better not back
however the best thing would be to live in the present and each present moment you want to be experiencing good things....
living in the past or the future stops you from living in the present, esp if the present sucks.....do something to change it..you cant change him or make him do n e thing he doesnt want to do, so all you can do is change your own surroundings and situations and be open to invite in others who want to share in your world with you
its really hard to let go of somebody and all of the things that sound "good" are always way easier said than done ....... but you have to figure out whats best for you
Princess4real
Well-Known Member
When you can't trust the person! 
Encore
New Member
Ok...im 99% sure he is not gay. You never know anything 100% so ill say that but i do not believe he is.
Ain no good no more, it's all bad.
He is very vindictive, if you hurt him. He will do you 10x's worse. It it doesnt even have to be confirmed. If he even suspects that, you find yourself saying "WDF did i do?"
He does not like speak about a problem, he can write it out...after a while.
but ever immediately. He will have something bother him and you will know it and you will die before he says whats the matter. After a while i realized it was from his family. When there was a problem you were to never speak about it so thats what he does and it makes him very unforgiving and vengeful. he does notttttttttttttttttt forgive. He'll just put it away in his mind but he will never forgive. And thats what i been trying to help him do, to learn he has to forgive his father and stop hurting everyone else because hes hurting.
I gave up on that tho. Cant help someone who doesnt want it.
Its hard for me to let go because i know that his issues are unresolved and i love him so much i just wanna help, but It is impossible. I know for a fact. The next female he will deal with wont know at first, but down the line she will see and learn the hard way. I doubt he will have any lasting relationship because of it and Im not the vengeful type anymore.
I've never experience heartache on this scale before, I would go a whole day without eating and never feeling hungry. I feel so stressed and I really dont want to go out, but i hate staying home because it makes me just sit and think about the wuda cuda shuda's.
Im not gonna force him to change i know i cant, thats why i thought about maybe waiting and hoping that he would, but it honestly looks like that will not happen any time soon. It takes a lot for me to stop being there for someone i love...but in this current situation. I've got one foot outside the door.How wrong he did me i leave it to God to handle. What goes around comes around. and i dont think i want to be around when it does pay him a visit.
Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
Dang...OP I hope it works out for you
BroadstreetBully
New Member
Hmm...seems like the issue is that you don't know where you two stand. It might be time for some real "closure" before you close this chapter.
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
I agree. My best friend told me YEARS ago, when I was going nuts over this guy who basically dumped me without telling me (he just kinda stopped coming around and calling, but wanted to leave that door open just in case, ya know... I was literallly sick: crying daily, standing in the shower with the red light because I didn't want to see how I really looked, losing almost 30lbs. and was driving by not his house, but by his mother's trailer park (yeah I went there). She said, "Girl go through what you gotta go through. When YOU'VE had enough, that'll be it." I did get tired pretty quickly after that advice.
In the meantime, tell yourself you're beautiful inside and out even if you don't believe it at first (Can we say self-fullfilling phophecy?). I used this technique to convince myself that I LOVE teaching middle school kids and guess what I DO! I'm grateful everyday for my career and I love all my kids, even the crazy ones. Treat yourself right and get plenty of excercise and good nutrients (your body will thank you).
Once you do this one of two things will happen, he'll see how great you're looking and feeling and appreciate you or YOU'LL KICK HIS A** TO THE CURB (if they still say that) and get a real prince of your dreams.
As long as he's not laying hands or talking crazy to you, you have to wiegh it all out.
Good Luck and Pray Hard.
Its over for me when I no longer have any incentive to try. And that could be either because he's obviously not trying anymore, or sooo much has just gone down that I just switch off and loose the will to keep going. If I'm still trying but its obvious he's given up trying, then eventually I have to tell myself to let it go and walk away.
iCandyc
Well-Known Member
YUP! i see friends goin thru it, stuck on ex's and stuff I try to tell them to pick up and move on but then I remember you deal with things in your own time! I just hate to see ppl wast time whn the situation just isnt right!
cocoaluv
Well-Known Member
I LOVE the advice you give tiara. Just wanted to let you know
There were some subtle and not so subtle hints along the way, but I was young, naïve and insecure so I stayed. It took a bright, red, flashing neon sign to get me to see that he wasn’t doing right be me and I wasn’t doing anything but being a doormat. Even then I was too much of a punk to break up with him. He finally broke up with me and when he did it was almost like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I cried and I missed him, but deep in my heart I knew that it was time to let go.
Take it from me, something inside will tell you when it’s time to let go. You just have to be strong enough to let go.
Take it from me, something inside will tell you when it’s time to let go. You just have to be strong enough to let go.
Faithfullover
New Member
Women always know in their hears when it is time to let a relationship go but for some reason the emotional side of us wants to hold on even if we know its no good for us. I knew it was time to let my ex go when he had a girl call my house asking for him then he tried to lie about why she was calling. My spider sense was already up that he was doing some extra curricular activities but I didn't want to confront the situation because I had just had a baby and I wanted my marriage to work. After that phone call I had to let it go. I couldn't ignore the situation any longer and my life is worth more to me than any man and if he's out there doing things he shouldn't be doing he had to go.
The only thing I can say in this is follow your heart. Last year my sister left her husband of 23 years. They had 8 kids and she didn't want to divorce him because of them but he put her through hell. He had kids outside of the marriage, he had other women calling the house - you name it he had been there done that. After her youngest daughter got 18 she packed up all of her stuff and left him lock, stock and barrel. Now nearly a year later she said it was the best move she ever made. When I asked her why she didn't do it when all of us told her she should she said she wasn't ready yet. She had to be the one to make the decision. Now I can't keep up with her
. She's much happier but it was a decision she had to make just like this is a decision you will have to make. When you're ready you will.
SimpleBrooklyn
New Member
I sort of always knew. But one day I was in a class and our professor said something to the effect of "When you're with someone, and they don't bring the good out in you, then you should not be with them". And not saying you have to be bad to have the good be brought out. I would like to think I am a happy fun caring person, but with all those qualities took a back seat and he brought out he absolute worst in me. I never knew that side of me existed.
MissJ
Well-Known Member
What does this new friend do? Go out on weekends looking for girls? If so, then your boyfriend may be doing the same or may have found someone else.
I know when my ex started hanging out with his friends, he started cheating. His friends were cheaters to begin with. Ugh! He was less available, selectively answered calls, etc. We got into more fights.
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
Mrs.Green
Well-Known Member
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