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HOPE THIS DOESNT SEEM MEAN

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darkempress

darkempress

New Member
BUT HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SOMEONE ON THE STREET, NOTICED THE BAD CONDITION OF THEIR HAIR, AND BECAME TEMPTED TO TELL THEM SOME HEALTHY HAIR BASICS. BECAUSE NOW THAT I'VE BECOME MORE HAIR CONSCIOUS I FIND MYSELF LISTING THINGS IN MY HEAD THAT I THINK THE PERSON COULD DO TO HELP IMPROVE THE CONDITION OF THEIR HAIR.
DOES THIS SEEM MEAN TO ANYONE ELSE?
 
I wouldn't say its mean :look: But I would be hesitant to move on my feeling :lol:
I also look at people and want to give them a LHCF card with the link and say, this may be helpful, but you know we can't do that with most people. Oh well. :lol:
 
Guyaneek said:
I wouldn't say its mean :look: But I would be hesitant to move on my feeling :lol:
I also look at people and want to give them a LHCF card with the link and say, this may be helpful, but you know we can't do that with most people. Oh well. :lol:
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:eek: what!? my hair is great how dare you talk about MY hair...


Ya i so agree
 
I don't think its mean as long as you don't approach the person and give them unwanted advice. We all give people our recommendations, comments, suggestions, or criticisms in reference to hair, attire, finances, etc. Don't you think? ;)
 
I don't think its mean as long as you don't approach the person and give them unwanted advice. We all give people our recommendations, comments, suggestions, or criticisms in reference to hair, attire, finances, etc. Don't you think? ;)
 
I want to do this everyday. I have done this at work with a couple of colleagues. I did it gently and it was well-received and I even gave them some products which they came back and raved about it. However, I will surely get cussed out on the street trying to do that, so I don't. I was in the beauty supply store for a minute after work because I just had to have some Nubian Heritage raw shea butter soap, but they did not have it so I bought the African black soap with shea butter and aloe, which smells so yummy by the way, I just had to take a shower when I got home from work. However, I digress: There was a man and woman behind me in line. Her hair was jacked up. I wish I could find a kinder term, but I just can't right now. The guy said: don't you also need some gel and spritz. I just cringed and visualized a big bottle of rubbing alcohol because that is what I automatically think of now when I hear those words. I wanted to turn around and tell her that she will be further drying her hair out and that what she needs is moisture, but I would have gotten cussed out as sure as my name is Angela. I want to help everyone, but I resist it and limit it to my sister, mom, goddaughters, friends and work colleagues.
 
It's not mean at all cause you don't do it, you just think it .,anyway the people that have the most horrific hair wouldn't listen if u did. I'm natural with shoulder length , thick , healthy hair and people don't hesitate to tell me "I liked your hair when it was straight " or just straight up "get a relaxer!", but in the instances when some one has asked me for advice about their hair and they have no edges, thinning edges or or what they think is long hair but it's thin and scraggly and dry and ate up from over use of relaxers and improper care they never take the advice and will hold on that hair forever .
 
I don't think it's mean but, I still think some people might be offended. Like someone posted earlier, I'd be very hesitant. But I know how you fell Dark Empress...I feel like that a lot.:)
 
I don't think its mean but I do think that person might find my "advice" offensive. You never know what a persons been through or wear there heads at.
 
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I only do it with people I know, co-workers and friends. Unfortunately, none have looked on the website long enough to get information. Instead they ask me about haircare. I can answer some questions but not all. I think from now on I'm going to strictly refer them to the site.
 
Nawlll empress, dont do it dawg. I think it is mean. I would be highly offended if someone approached me on the street. Because it isn't any of your business. even though i was dying for knowledge to grow my hair, i still think i would have been slightly hurt that someone approached me and then that would have caused me to be mean towards that person. And i would also be mean cause i would have wondered what your true intentions are. if u brave enough to do it, i would love to hear what happened...
 
Mizani_Mrs said:
Nawlll empress, dont do it dawg. I think it is mean. I would be highly offended if someone approached me on the street. Because it isn't any of your business. even though i was dying for knowledge to grow my hair, i still think i would have been slightly hurt that someone approached me and then that would have caused me to be mean towards that person. And i would also be mean cause i would have wondered what your true intentions are. if u brave enough to do it, i would love to hear what happened...
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yep. that's like walking down the street and offering an overweight person a diet bar, or a skinny person a hamburger.

I like to just mind my own business....
 
:) :D LOL, NO I'M NOT SAYING I WOULD DO IT. BUT I JUST HAVE THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD OF THINGS THAT THE PERSON COULD DO TO HELP THE CONDITION OF THEIR HAIR. BUT I WAS JUST ASKING IF YOU GUYS THOUGHT MY THOUGHTS WERE MEAN, I WOULDNT DARE WALK UP TO A STRANGER ON THE STREET AND TELL THEM WHAT THEY SHOUDL DO TO THEIR HAIR. BECAUSE I KNOW THAT CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND HURT ALOT OF PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.
 
No, not mean to think it. Sure, I too look, analyze, wish I could say something but dare not, especially little girls with unkempt, dried out hair. BSS, sure do try to lead a few to better products but their purchase is usually based on cost and habit. I am delighted when someone buys a great product; the hair is usually great looking too. I give advice to co-workers when asked. My Mom, I just steamroller her with purchases and advice:lol: !
 
I dont think mean is the right term. But the energy isnt good, so I am glad you don't act on it!

Through my transition people decided to give me their unsolicited opinions about what I should do with my hair. My hair's health was not an issue but their understanding of healthy hair differed from mine. For instance, straight hair=healthy, down hair=healthy, frizz & kinks =unhealthy. So, you might not see eye to eye with that person.

But, I feel the way you do, when I see children with damaged hair.:(
 
I dont think its mean, it might a bit inquisitive (not to be mean myself). I think people are sensitive, i wouldnt take it up on myself to tell someone about the grooming of their hair.
 
I think we have all had the thought cross our minds, but I think it would be rude to act upon it...like walking up to a fat person and handing them a slimfast or something. If they inquire about your hair.....I think that would be a different situation.

ETA: I see this has been said before.
 
I think you can and should inform people of how they can grow their own hair, and lead them to this forum..so they can " seethe light"..I do it all the time, and I've never had a bad reaction..
 
I would LOVE to teach people how to take better care of their hair, but I usually just looked at their jacked up hair and shake my head. I don't say anything unless asked.
 
I would never do it. I only talk if im asked. I do find it hard to look when I see the children with the braids 2 in. behind their ears/hair line from all the stress over the months and years.
 
I don't say anything to anyone unless I'm asked. Some people can be really funny acting about getting unsolicited advice about their hair, so I just keep my mouth shut.
 
I used to tell people only when asked. Now I don't even do that anymore. I always got one of two responses; they argue with me or their eyes glaze over and they look lost.
 
I don't know, but I think that "mean" is more defined by the intention in one's heart. Words with good intent that are received negatively doesn't make them mean, and words given with mal intent that are received well doesn't make them kind.

Giving unsolicited advice can be tricky. I would probably only do it if I had some type of relationship with the person, or if they asked me.

ETA: I'd also give advice if I felt spiritually led to do so.
 
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I did it before and the person backed away from me like I was telling them about a cult or something...:ohwell:
 
Would I go up to a complete stranger? No. BUT if they talk to me about hair woes that's something different. I have to remember that not everyone has internet access.... so I relay the information in a way it can be easily processed. Especially if they have problems with dryness.... I'll point them in the direction of a good conditioner and tell them about the oils I add. Alot of times, the thoughts just never occured to them. They think that the product itself is enough.

With that said, I don't think it's mean per se.... but you never know if someone's having health issues or just a rough time with life. I think depends on the person and the situation. I've told some people before. I've even asked how this lady if she was on a baggy challenge.....:blush: Well she always wore a bun! I didnt' knowwwwwwwwww! :lol:

Now as far as family and friends? Oh fa sho! I told my sister and my neice but instead of drilling it into them.... I let them see how my hair thrived.... then they began to ask and seemed interested THAT'S when I roped their bootys in! My 15 year old neice's hair looks soooo great and it's been growing like a weed. I'll tell her how to moisturize her ends and good products to use. It's made a world of difference. My mom for the first time in her life got flat twists on her natural hair with extensions for a bun. It was BEAUTIFUL! I love this site!
 
I don't think it's mean. I sometimes give unsolicited advice, but there is a technique to it. I may be looking at a magazine or this website I may say this is such a cute picture, hairstyle or whatever then just tell them what I learned or mention something that may help. I am very good at disarming people, I don't think I've ever got any cross attitudes. One thing that bothers me is when people assume genetics is the reason my hair looks nice. I usually tell them "honey please without a relaxer and proper hair care my hair looks like a black lint blanket".:perplexed
 
EbonyHairedPrincess said:
I don't think it's mean. I sometimes give unsolicited advice, but there is a technique to it. I may be looking at a magazine or this website I may say this is such a cute picture, hairstyle or whatever then just tell them what I learned or mention something that may help. I am very good at disarming people, I don't think I've ever got any cross attitudes. One thing that bothers me is when people assume genetics is the reason my hair looks nice. I usually tell them "honey please without a relaxer and proper hair care my hair looks like a black lint blanket".:perplexed
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This made me giggle today! Thanks :lol:
 
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