Welcome aboard!!!
First things first: calm down & take a deep breath. It's going to be okay. I have decreased my breakage but not to my satisfaction. Breakage drives me
crazy, so I definitely understand how you feel.
I echo everything that Camilla has said. You need moisture and protein. You have to listen to your hair and figure out how to incorporate the balance into your regimen in a way that works for you. I'm a natural 4a/b (but mostly 4a). I definitely need moisture and protein. Moisture alone = breakage for me & protein alone makes my hair hard.
You said that twist-outs are the only style that you know how to do. The same is true for me. However, twist-outs are a lot of manipulation (especially since you twist on wet hair). That could be contributing to the breakage. The blow dryer could also be contributing to the breakage. Maybe you didn't see any breakage before because your hair was stronger. Perhaps the blowdrying has taken its toll on your hair. Also, twist-outs aren't a protective style because your ends are exposed. Do you find that your ends are extra dry? That could be another cause of breakage.
In terms of regimens, definitely check out the link to growafrolong that Camilla posted. Robin has a lot of good tips. Also, peruse the threads and use the seach feature to see other regimens & read about products and hair care issues (gosh, I sound like such an advertisement! Sorry about that.)
My regimen (I wash once a week) is as follows:
1. Prepoo with either Burt's Bees Avocado Butter Pre-Shampoo Hair Treatment (in warmer months) or castor oil (in colder months).
2. Shampoo with Earthly Delight Herbal Shampoo (be sure to dilute it with water).
3. Condition with Karen's Body Beautiful Deep Conditioner. (Karen's Body Beautiful may be a hair care line that you want to explore.)
**I also do a monthly mayonnaise treatment
4. Spray Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Leave-In Conditioner & apply Jane Carter Solution Hair Nourishing Cream (Jane Carter is another line that you may want to explore).
***I use a concotion of water, honey, coconut and castor oils as a leave-in during the warmer months.
5. Twist my hair into buns (after putting the Jane Carter Hair Nourishing Cream and castor oil on my ends)
6. Let it air dry or sit under my ionic soft bonnet dryer for 30-60 mins.
7. Twist my hair & put my perm rods in for a twist-out or braid my hair & wear my wig for the week. Lately, I've been opting to wear the wig b/c, as I mentioned above, twist-outs are a lot of manipulation.
Although I suggested Karen's Body Beautiful and Jane Carter Solution, there are plenty hair care lines to explore (Hairveda, Shescentit, Qhemet Biologics, MyHoneyChild, Afroveda, etc., to name a few.) I prefer natural & organic hair care lines b/c their quality is far superior to most of the products in beauty supply stores, IMHO (there are exceptions to every rule, though).
Don't forget about Whole Foods Market if you reside in New York. That place is a wonderland of natural and organic hair products.
I hope that my rambling has helped you in some way.