Help Please!!

indarican

indarican

Well-Known Member
Hello all,

let me first say that your stories and pictures are all very inspiring. I look around and see all the people, with so many different types of hair natural and relaxed that are having so much success with thier hair growth. congrats to all of you!!!

So here is my hair story, I have been a tomboy for most of my life, but now i am in my twenties and have embraced the inner girl that i am. I wish to have really really long hair probably done to my waist if its possible. The only problem is i dont know how to do my hair.:nono:
My mother never showed me how to do my hair, i learned how to wash my hair from commercials. i was never taught how to maintain my hair or even how to style it. in actuality, i have been wearing my hair in a makeshift bun ( where you start off in a pony tail but on the last go around you dont pull the hair all the way through, leaving the ends in the band.) for about 98% of my life. Although this is ok maybe once a week i have been known to go months on end without changing up the hairstyle. Now please dont think that i am lazy or i do not try because i have so many products that are supposed to help me that it is ridiculous. I tried flat ironing, but my hair just poofs up. I do relax but can never leave it down unless i go to the hair salon, which is highly expensive. i tried to wash and gel it still a tragedy. so i am at a lost when it comes to styling my hair. My hair is very wavy, poofy and very very thick, but not kinky. I am not sure how often i should relax my hair or what i should be doing in between the time. I dont know if i should leave it out or if it should be up. How often do i wash my hair. How do i stop the breaking, split ends and flyaways. so frustrating!!!:wallbash:
I have asked many people and i have gotten everything from get a wash and set and deep condition every couple of days to cut it all off and start over. The first i cannot afford and the last is way too drastic.

So i come here hoping that maybe just maybe i could get some help....PLEASE!!!!


Thanks
 
Welcome! Building your regimen will take some tweaking. Take a look at some of the stickies. Sorry i cant post them im on my phone! Wish you well!
 
indarican said:
Your hair looks great. What would you suggest as a good regimin?
Click to expand...

Thank you, i hope i have found what works for me.
When i started out i realised i was doing a lot of 'naughty' things like shampooing all the time and not following up with a conditioner or deep conditiner. Blowdrying my hair to death with no heat protectant. Brushing all the time, wearing braids and weave with no plan of looking after my hair in these styles!

Right, so after reading the advice from these knowledgeble ladies my hair has really improved.

Find a good shampoo, if you want to shampoo with every wash i would definately follow up with a deep condition.

Try co washing for your in between washes with a cheap conditioner that will give slip.

Keep your hair moisturised with a good leave in.

Use protein when needed- if you have breakage don't go buy some hard protien treatment for breakage you may just need some moisture plus check its not shed hair which is fine.

How often are you relaxing?

Have you tried rollersetting, twist outs braid outs? There are some great youtube tutorials.
 
Nya33 said:
Thank you, i hope i have found what works for me.
When i started out i realised i was doing a lot of 'naughty' things like shampooing all the time and not following up with a conditioner or deep conditiner. Blowdrying my hair to death with no heat protectant. Brushing all the time, wearing braids and weave with no plan of looking after my hair in these styles!

Right, so after reading the advice from these knowledgeble ladies my hair has really improved.

Find a good shampoo, if you want to shampoo with every wash i would definately follow up with a deep condition.

Try co washing for your in between washes with a cheap conditioner that will give slip.

Keep your hair moisturised with a good leave in.

Use protein when needed- if you have breakage don't go buy some hard protien treatment for breakage you may just need some moisture plus check its not shed hair which is fine.

How often are you relaxing?

Have you tried rollersetting, twist outs braid outs? There are some great youtube tutorials.
Click to expand...


I cant rollerset for my life, it never works for me. what are twist outs and braid outs? i relax about once every two months only because, when i did it every month my hair became really really flat. but every two months is becoming two long and the new growth is really coming in. How often do you suggest that i wash my hair, and do i deep condition after each shampoo? Also how can I tell the difference from shed hair and breakage? Thank you for your help
 
Hi Indarican!
Welcome and don't you worry. you're in the right place. look around here, check out the threads that list the popular youtubers, you'll learn a lot of techniques that way. In order to build your regimen you'll have to see what works best for you, there will be some trial and error so just be aware of that.
You'll be able to find the techniques that work for you too. Check around these forums for options. No two people have exactly the same regimen, and techniques.

Do me a favor and PLEASE dont put your hair in that makeshift bun anymore, either do a real bun or leave it out in a ponytail.
That makeshift bun caused me breakage one summer during H.S. at the point where I would leave the pony in the elastic. It was wretched and a needless setback.

GOOD LUCK!!!
 
Whimsy said:
Hi Indarican!
Welcome and don't you worry. you're in the right place. look around here, check out the threads that list the popular youtubers, you'll learn a lot of techniques that way. In order to build your regimen you'll have to see what works best for you, there will be some trial and error so just be aware of that.
You'll be able to find the techniques that work for you too. Check around these forums for options. No two people have exactly the same regimen, and techniques.

Do me a favor and PLEASE dont put your hair in that makeshift bun anymore, either do a real bun or leave it out in a ponytail.
That makeshift bun caused me breakage one summer during H.S. at the point where I would leave the pony in the elastic. It was wretched and a needless setback.

GOOD LUCK!!!
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for that, i was wondering if the makeshift bun was causing the breakage at the end. i guess i got my answer. I have been looking through things and i have purchased some products but i dont even know if they are working for me. its so hard when you really dont have anyone around with your type of hair. Most of my friends either have really really kinky hair, dreads, pin straight, or curls.
 
indarican said:
Thank you so much for that, i was wondering if the makeshift bun was causing the breakage at the end. i guess i got my answer. I have been looking through things and i have purchased some products but i dont even know if they are working for me. its so hard when you really dont have anyone around with your type of hair. Most of my friends either have really really kinky hair, dreads, pin straight, or curls.
Click to expand...

OK well the hair your friends has is irrelevant when considering how products/techniques are working for YOU. How does your hair FEEL? how's ur scalp? any buildup? is your hair clean? soft? moisturized? dry? crackley? lots of bend/stretch or does it snap? is it oily? is it stinky?

take stock of your hair before and after using products and doing certain techniques and you'll see how things work for YOU.

You dont need people w/ ur hair type for that, BUT, luckily here at lhcf there are TONS of different hair types for you to check out and the women here are so willing to help.
 
Whimsy said:
OK well the hair your friends has is irrelevant when considering how products/techniques are working for YOU. How does your hair FEEL? how's ur scalp? any buildup? is your hair clean? soft? moisturized? dry? crackley? lots of bend/stretch or does it snap? is it oily? is it stinky?

take stock of your hair before and after using products and doing certain techniques and you'll see how things work for YOU.

You dont need people w/ ur hair type for that, BUT, luckily here at lhcf there are TONS of different hair types for you to check out and the women here are so willing to help.
Click to expand...


thank you once again. I will keep those questions in mind once i attempt to do my hair again. But the one answer i already know is, my hair never feels moisturized. i always have that dry hay feeling ends. i have tried so many different things, but it either ends up just drying it out more making it worse or making my hair extra greasy and looking horrible. Do you think that may be because of the dead ends?
 
indarican said:
I cant rollerset for my life, it never works for me. what are twist outs and braid outs? i relax about once every two months only because, when i did it every month my hair became really really flat. but every two months is becoming two long and the new growth is really coming in. How often do you suggest that i wash my hair, and do i deep condition after each shampoo? Also how can I tell the difference from shed hair and breakage? Thank you for your help
Click to expand...

Hey i did a really long post for you then managed to delete half of it on my phone! Twist & braidouts are twisting and braiding the hair then undone to give a styling option.

You need to see what your hair likes and that will be trial and error process. If you do shampoo then i would deep condition, as shampoo can dry and irritate your scalp and hair.

Shed hair will have a bulb at the end and broken hair is that, no bulb.

My hair always flat after a relaxer and thats after 3months, lol.

Take your time and research what works for your hair.
 
indarican said:
thank you once again. I will keep those questions in mind once i attempt to do my hair again. But the one answer i already know is, my hair never feels moisturized. i always have that dry hay feeling ends. i have tried so many different things, but it either ends up just drying it out more making it worse or making my hair extra greasy and looking horrible. Do you think that may be because of the dead ends?
Click to expand...

i dunno what u mean by dead ends, but if you mean like split ends or something, then probably.

maybe get a trim and do some deep conditioning treatments more often.
also when you moisturize, seal with oil after. maybe that'll help your ends retain some moisture.
 
You will be fine once you start checking out previous forums to help you with maintaining your hair, just like the others said. I would start with something simple like NYA33 advised on two strand twists and braid outs until you get the hang of things. Also check out utube tutorials, they are very helpful!

I wash my hair once a week with a gentle shampoo and deep condition after every shampoo with either a protein or moisturizing conditioner (read the instructions to see if it requires deep conditioning methods so you will know) I alternate between protein and moisture for balance. I also moisturize throughout the week since my hair is dry and I seal it with an essential oil such as Extra Virgin Olive Oil or Castor Oil, especially paying more attention to the ends.

I hope we have gave you more insight and Happy Healthy Hair Growing!
 
JMH1908 said:
You will be fine once you start checking out previous forums to help you with maintaining your hair, just like the others said. I would start with something simple like NYA33 advised on two strand twists and braid outs until you get the hang of things. Also check out utube tutorials, they are very helpful!

I wash my hair once a week with a gentle shampoo and deep condition after every shampoo with either a protein or moisturizing conditioner (read the instructions to see if it requires deep conditioning methods so you will know) I alternate between protein and moisture for balance. I also moisturize throughout the week since my hair is dry and I seal it with an essential oil such as Extra Virgin Olive Oil or Castor Oil, especially paying more attention to the ends.

I hope we have gave you more insight and Happy Healthy Hair Growing!
Click to expand...
thank you for your post. what do you mean when you say seal it?
 
Nya33 said:
Hey i did a really long post for you then managed to delete half of it on my phone! Twist & braidouts are twisting and braiding the hair then undone to give a styling option.

You need to see what your hair likes and that will be trial and error process. If you do shampoo then i would deep condition, as shampoo can dry and irritate your scalp and hair.

Shed hair will have a bulb at the end and broken hair is that, no bulb.

My hair always flat after a relaxer and thats after 3months, lol.

Take your time and research what works for your hair.
Click to expand...
yea then i definetly have loads and loads of broken hair. lol
 
indarican said:
yea then i definetly have loads and loads of broken hair. lol
Click to expand...

Ok dont panic it can be rectified. What products do you use? Try ors replenishing pack conditioner i liked that for a little bit of protien but mainly a deep conditioner. Or if you have a DC in your stash use that for a min of 20 mins. Read sistaslicks article on breakage it is a sticky. If your ends are split then trim them. If not just get more moisture on the ends they need a little bit more tlc as they the oldest part of the strand.

Hope we helped!
 
The ladies have given you great advice.

In terms of "how" to shampoo, just remember that shampoo is for the scalp and conditioner is for the hair.

I didn't know the proper way to shampoo before I came here, either, because my mother always shampooed just like the women on TV do.
 
sharifeh said:
uh-oh That can't be good, can you give us the name of some the products you are currently using? shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer etc...
Click to expand...
For shampoo, I don't have a main one I jump alot... Just figured out that was bad... For conditioner I use a product called KUZ... It helps with the tangles. Moisturizer, I have like a bucket full all unsuccessful.
 
Nya33 said:
Ok dont panic it can be rectified. What products do you use? Try ors replenishing pack conditioner i liked that for a little bit of protien but mainly a deep conditioner. Or if you have a DC in your stash use that for a min of 20 mins. Read sistaslicks article on breakage it is a sticky. If your ends are split then trim them. If not just get more moisture on the ends they need a little bit more tlc as they the oldest part of the strand.

Hope we helped!
Click to expand...
how often should I deep condition? Someone told me too much was bad. Is that true?
 
darlingdiva said:
The ladies have given you great advice.

In terms of "how" to shampoo, just remember that shampoo is for the scalp and conditioner is for the hair.

I didn't know the proper way to shampoo before I came here, either, because my mother always shampooed just like the women on TV do.
Click to expand...

Ok so are you saying I should pay more attention to the scalp then the actual hair or still shampoo the whole head
 
I think you really need to take some time out and do a thourough search, and read through the favorite stickies thread, read atleast the 'new comers guide to starting out' and breakage 101 by sistaslick. She also has tons of articles on regimen building, shedding vs breaking etc. That was very helpful to me when starting out. There is also a thread that includes the lingo. You could ask questions until your face turns blue, but no one can actually tell you all of the answers in one sitting. It will be time consuming, but definitely worth it. Btw the Kuz line is great for DC'ing, so that's a great start.

Here is a link to the newcomer's guide: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/for...ad.php?t=50291

Here's the link to the favorite stickies also :http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=255441
 
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Nya33 said:
I DC once a week, try that and see how you go, yes too much can be bad but only in the sense of having overly soft/"mushy".
Click to expand...

Well as it stands right now my hair is super hard and very brittle, i read the sticky and it said i need more moisture, do you think dc'ing twice a week will do more harm then good? at least till i can get it a little softer?
 
Twice a wk is fine, what dc will you use? To keep balance use a light protien, frequency will depend on your hairs needs. Keep us posted!
 
Nya33 said:
Twice a wk is fine, what dc will you use? To keep balance use a light protien, frequency will depend on your hairs needs. Keep us posted!
Click to expand...
i use a deep conditioner called KUZ, its a little expensive but it did wonders for me when my hair was falling out. Brazilian Keritan treatment= the devil!!
 
Girl, calm down!! My suggestion is.......twice a week, wash with a cheap condtioner like VO5 (use like you would shampoo), follow with a deep condition for a minimun of 1 hour with heat (KUZ sounds good). When rinsing out the deep conditioner, leave a little in (don't washout completely - your hair should feel slippery). Then apply a light coating of extra virgin unrefined coconut oil or extra virgin olive oil while your hair is still wet (this is "sealing"). Do a two strand twist and let your hair air dry (may also use a hard bonnet hair dryer on low setting). Leave the twists in for a day or two, then takeout and style (I like the messy, loose bun) for a day or two. Then start the process over. Do this for a few (8) weeks - this will give your hair a chance to rest and you will see if this basic regimen works for you. Once you get the hang of it, you can add or substract steps as needed. In the meantime, do lots of research.

BTW, you may want to use a clarifying shampoo, once (& only once), at the begining. This will remove any product buildup and "gunk" from your hair. Follow with the steps outlined above. If you use products without the "cones" you should not need to use shampoo for several weeks afterwards..

Good luck! and take a breath ;-).
 
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