Help or Opinions Needed About An Inappropriate Church Incident, please.

[Ballerina_Bun]

I felt like going to church (some place safe) today to just pray, write and cry. I just needed a good cleansing cry. It was not my spiritual home, but I was honest with the person that I spoke to about why I wanted to go inside and she let me go into the chapel alone and have some private time with God.

30-ish minutes into my prayer time some man comes in, an ex-member of the church that still helps out there so I was told. I guess the woman that let me in, sent him in there to make sure that I was ok. The conversation started out normal talking about God, prayer, life, health issues … etc, HOWEVER …

After we left the chapel area and sat in the hall (not secluded) he started telling me his story. He started telling me about his sex life and how he didn’t have children because he had an older wife and ... etc. Then he insinuates that because of his older wife, he has to engage in Solitary Activities and he makes a “Hand Gesture” a couple of times (you KNOW what I'm talking about). I do NOT know that man. It felt extremely inappropriate. I left there feeling weird and uncomfortable. I don’t want to blow this out of proportion, but it didn’t sit right with me.

My Concern + My Question For Anyone Comfortable Commenting On This:
#1. Even though you were not a member of that church (and have no intention of going anywhere near the place EVER again), would you notify the pastor of the incident?

#2. This person knows my name now and one place that I go. My concern with this is that if some man could so easily discuss inappropriate sexual matters with me in A CHURCH , would you be concerned that he may have some stalker tendencies and may show up?

#3 When I left, I was wondering if he was just venting OR, possibly the more likely reason that he was trying to see if I would be interested. I hope that I am wrong! This man was like 18 times bigger than me. He was morbidly obese. So, if he showed up at the place where he knows I go, it would be creepy for lack of a better word, because if I could not out run him, I would be in trouble. The only good thing is that if I am ever at this place after dark, I have a trusted male friend that drives there and follows me home to make sure I get home safe or he drives there himself and picks me up when I am finished. We have kind of a “Buddy System” for safety reasons.

NOTE: He also made some comment about my looks and …

I know what talking to a male at a church is supposed to be like. If you are in their office, they keep the door WIDE open, they sit a acceptable distance from you and if there is a wife, she (or someone else) knows you are there. There is no touching, except for MAYBE a VERY brief hug, but they usually hand you over to a female member of the church even for a hug. I can respect that!

 

[LucieLoo12]

um...that's was not only weird but disrespectful! u should definitely notify the pastor ASAP. The pastor is in charge of the house and needs to know what's going on. The guy may a be ex member but he is still on church grounds.

 

[sweetvi]

Okayyy. Run not walk to the pastor. These murderers, rapists, psychos, (if he is one) always have displayed certain characteristics that were never reported before and incidents could of been prevented. Remember , church is for the sick and weary and brokenhearted so......

 

[Shimmie]

Blood RED FLAGS waving high in the wind.

This man is totally out of order and the Pastor needs to know ASAP! This is a sign that danger is in the camp.

A cab driver did this to me once and I pressed charges against him. Yes, I did. The judge gave him a stern warning. The detective gave him a fright.

I'm really sorry that you had to go through this, however this man could be molesting children and an alert needs to be put out on him. Who cares what he 'has' to do relieve himself sexually and then to 'gesture' towards himself to make it more clear??? This is why women need to know how to protect themselves and beat the living devil out of fools like this. Women are not to be disrespected.

I know I sound 'mean', and I apologize if it is offensive. I just don't like when things like this happen. Men have no right to speak to women like this.

 

[BostonMaria]

Wow! Just wow!
I would definitely tell the pastor. He's probably on the prowl and looking for a vulnerable church lady to fall for his trap. Disgusting freak!

 

[Blackpearl1993]

My vote is that the pastor needs to be notified immediately. Anyone with dangerous, threatening, or plain old inappropriate behavior should be reported. It can mean the difference between yourself or someone else being injured/abused.

In addition, make sure that your male friend who helps you get home safely, also knows about what happened. When someone may pose a threat, it is important to make sure that people you trust are aware of the situation. Most importantly, pray! God will not allow this man to harm you:

Heavenly Father, I pray for the safety of sister Ballerina_Bun. Thank you, Lord for keeping our sister safe when this man approached her with evil intentions. Lord, I commit her safety to you, knowing that you perfect those things which concern us. Please God, heal this man's heart and keep him from violating anyone else with his words or actions. Draw him to you, Lord, so he can be saved and live his life according to your will. Lord, we thank you that no weapon formed against our sister shall prosper. We thank you, Lord, for binding up the devil. Please dear Lord, give our precious sister peace about this situation and bless her with the courage and conviction to share this incident with the pastor. Thank you, Lord for blessing the pastor to take this matter seriously, pray about the right course of action, and carry out Your will with godly courage.
Amen!

 

[Shimmie]

My vote is that the pastor needs to be notified immediately. Anyone with dangerous, threatening, or plain old inappropriate behavior should be reported. It can mean the difference between yourself or someone else being injured/abused.

In addition, make sure that your male friend who helps you get home safely, also knows about what happened. When someone may pose a threat, it is important to make sure that people you trust are aware of the situation. Most importantly, pray! God will not allow this man to harm you:

Heavenly Father, I pray for the safety of sister Ballerina_Bun. Thank you, Lord for keeping our sister safe when this man approached her with evil intentions. Lord, I commit her safety to you, knowing that you perfect those things which concern us.

Please God, heal this man's heart and keep him from violating anyone else with his words or actions. Draw him to you, Lord, so he can be saved and live his life according to your will. Lord, we thank you that no weapon formed against our sister shall prosper. We thank you, Lord, for binding up the devil.

Please dear Lord, give our precious sister peace about this situation and bless her with the courage and conviction to share this incident with the pastor. Thank you, Lord for blessing the pastor to take this matter seriously, pray about the right course of action, and carry out Your will with godly courage.

Amen!

Such a powerful prayer and I agree, in Jesus' Name, Amen.

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

Blood RED FLAGS waving high in the wind.

This man is totally out of order and the Pastor needs to know ASAP! This is a sign that danger is in the camp.

A cab driver did this to me once and I pressed charges against him. Yes, I did. The judge gave him a stern warning. The detective gave him a fright.

I'm really sorry that you had to go through this, however this man could be molesting children and an alert needs to be put out on him. Who cares what he 'has' to do relieve himself sexually and then to 'gesture' towards himself to make it more clear??? This is why women need to know how to protect themselves and beat the living devil out of fools like this. Women are not to be disrespected.

I know I sound 'mean', and I apologize if it is offensive. I just don't like when things like this happen. Men have no right to speak to women like this.

Women DO need to know how to protect themselves! What is dangerous is when someone remains quiet for fear of retaliation. For instance, in this case, this person knows of a place that I go now. If I tell the pastor and the pastor says something to this weirdo, will he look for me or will he be mature enough to see that his comments, gestures and … were in appropriate!?!?

Also, even just mentioning something or talking about it online is good too. If something happens, from my understanding, one of things law enforcement does is search the victims’ computer(s).

I am going to tell the pastor, but I am going to take someone with me. I am not going back to that place alone. And after I tell the pastor, I still choose to not go back there. I think that's best!

And No Shimmie, I do not think that you were being mean or offensive. I figured if I posted what happened in this section, I would get some NO NONSENSE DIRECT advice, especially from you!

My vote is that the pastor needs to be notified immediately. Anyone with dangerous, threatening, or plain old inappropriate behavior should be reported. It can mean the difference between yourself or someone else being injured/abused.

In addition, make sure that your male friend who helps you get home safely, also knows about what happened. When someone may pose a threat, it is important to make sure that people you trust are aware of the situation. Most importantly, pray! God will not allow this man to harm you:

Heavenly Father, I pray for the safety of sister Ballerina_Bun. Thank you, Lord for keeping our sister safe when this man approached her with evil intentions. Lord, I commit her safety to you, knowing that you perfect those things which concern us. Please God, heal this man's heart and keep him from violating anyone else with his words or actions. Draw him to you, Lord, so he can be saved and live his life according to your will. Lord, we thank you that no weapon formed against our sister shall prosper. We thank you, Lord, for binding up the devil. Please dear Lord, give our precious sister peace about this situation and bless her with the courage and conviction to share this incident with the pastor. Thank you, Lord for blessing the pastor to take this matter seriously, pray about the right course of action, and carry out Your will with godly courage.
Amen!

Thank you for this ! I want to print this prayer and put it in my journal. I finally told my friend about what happened. I don't know why it took me so long to mention it to him last night. I finally did not too long after I started this thread.

Okayyy. Run not walk to the pastor. These murderers, rapists, psychos, (if he is one) always have displayed certain characteristics that were never reported before and incidents could of been prevented. Remember , church is for the sick and weary and brokenhearted so......

True! A new local pastor recently said during his sermon that, "The Church is not just a hotel for _____ <-- (forgot the word he used there). It's a hospital for the sinners." No one is perfect, but you never know what those sins are ... big or small.

I don't know why, but your comment made me think of the Anthony Sowell Case .

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

Wow! Just wow!
I would definitely tell the pastor. He's probably on the prowl and looking for a vulnerable church lady to fall for his trap. Disgusting freak!

I know what you are saying, but it just doesn't make sense ... and at a church at that! He could at least take his nonsense elsewhere!