Help! I need advice to save my hair.

[Frostipuff]

Short intro: I'm so happy to have found this site. Of what
I can tell of the posts, there are many thoughtful intelligent
women here that seem to be very supportive of one another.

I'm 42 with a serious hair crisis. I have-or had-thick shoulder
length hair that up until now has been resonably healthy even
with touch ups every 8 wks with a semi-perm color applied at
the same time. Recently I left my stylist of 4 years after she
lost interest in me and started doing my hair without regard to
what I wanted or needed. I got sick of her numerous phone
conversations while she was doing my hair. I ended up going
to several different salons at the reccommenation of friends
and ended up with half my hair left on my hair.

Here's why. On person put permanant hair color on my hair
which lifted my color AFTER a relaxer.
The next person used Mizani when she gave me a touch up
which left my hair terribly underprocessed and my relaxed
new growth feeling "crunchy". The color she used did not
cover my gray.
The last person noted that I had permanant hair color in
my hair gave me a great consult only to use Vitale relaxer
on my new growth, which melted half my hair off of my head.
What did not melt off is coming out each time I comb my
hair-so much so that I can now see through my hair and feel
a breeze on my scalp for the first time in my life.
Before leaving the last salon, I noticed a lot of hair coming
out while she was combing my hair and her comment was
"oh, it's the permanant hair color doing that". She didn't
bother to use a protein treatment on me-she sent me home.
Only after a terse call to her did she tell me what I needed
and scheduled me to come right back at which time she
used aphorgee to curb some of the loss.

I'm sickened every time I look in the mirror. My hair has a
strange texture at the roots that feels "crunchy" and the
front and sides of my hair is either bald or has very short
hair. I have used the Aphrogee protein treatment once
since she did one month ago. I've started taking hair,
skin, and nail vitamins, I've purchased the entire line
of Aphrogee hair products, I am careful about combing
out my hair after washing it, which is often since I work
out daily and sweat up a storm. I have to wash it at
least three times a week. Since I hate to see gray roots
and I'm afraid to have it colored or color it myself, I use
a mascara like color wand that makes my hair feel worse,
but covers some of the gray.

I just don't know what to do. I am seriously afraid of
allowing another soul to do my hair and I have limited
experience in doing my hair. I am encouraged to try since
so many of you ladies have had beautiful results doing your
own relaxers and even coloring your hair.

I need advice ASAP. I currently have my hair cut so that
it brushes my shoulders. It looks so unhealthy at this point
that I wonder if I should just cut it all off and wear a wig
until it grows back.

The only ray of light is that since I started the vitimins,
I can see quite a bit of new growth in just one month.

I need to understand why my roots feel so "crunchy"-
they never have in the past, what hair color line to
use to cover the gray-I must cover the gray since I
hate to see it, and finally, how should I manage the hair
I have left and why did it all fall out?

Thank you in advance. Sorry for the long rambling post.
I'm just so upset and angry!

Loretta

 

[prettynina]

im so sorry for what happened to you , those ladies here are great and im sure they will have great advice to give you ,hang in there.

 

[VroniL2006]

I havent been on here long, but I have grown my hair out past my shoulders before and I can give you a little advice.

First, if you can remember any of the products that your old hairdresser used on you, than I would request that same brand to the next stylist. Find a stylist that uses the same brand relaxer that your old stylist used on your hair.

Secondly, I would stop using any heat ASAP. No curling irons, flat irons, or blow dryers.

I cant give you advice on coloring....but I am thinking your hair is not getting enough moister and thats why it is breaking off. So, whenever you wash your own hair...deep condition every time until you see improvement. Have a deep condition put in every time you visit the salon also! Also, find a good daily conditioner, I would suggest ElastQP Recovery Oil Moisturizer, you can use it every day and curtails breakage.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

First of all, welcome to the board. We're glad to have you here. Get comfortable and read as much as you can. There's plenty of information here that can help you. Don't fret...with time and TLC, your hair will be back in no time!

Now to address your situation: I would not let another hairdresser near my head nor would I relax again for a long (4-5 months) time. I know those may seem like daunting tasks, but honestly, I think your hair will thank you for it. It sounds like your hair has been under a tremendous amount of stress with all the chemicals and styling, and now it's starting to show.

The key is going to be nursing it back to health. This will probably be a process that will take months. You didn't do all the damage in a day, and the health of your hair won't be restored in a day. You have to be consistent and patient.

Anything that's causing problems right now - the color wand, relaxers, heat, color - it all needs to go...at least for now. Everything that touches your head should be the for the sole purpose of improving its health and nothing else. I know you probably hate the grey, but you may have to let it ride until you can restore the health of your hair...wigs are always an option if it's unbearable.

Deep conditioning would probably help tremendously. You may have to do some experimenting to find a regimen that's right for you, but the main idea to keep a clean scalp and moisturized length. Shampooing and deep conditioning or CO washing and deep conditioning once a week should achieve that.

You didn't mention whether you use heated appliances, but if you do, I'd lay off of those for at least 6 months. There's a recent thread on protective styles so if your hair isn't long enough to go into a bun, you may want to check that thread for ideas on how to protect your hair while it grows.

Your new growth may be crunchy due to protein overload. ApHOGEE twice in one month sounds like way too much, even if you have severe brekage. Keep in mind that in order to achieve healthy hair, there must be a balance between protein and moisture. Dry hair breaks just as much as weak hair does so be careful not to overdo it with the protein in an effort to curb the breakage.

Good call on starting the vitamins. Also, be sure to drink plenty of water and eat right. Healthy hair starts before we even see the strand. A diet rich in fruits and vegetables and protein will help improve the overall condition of your hair.

Also, if I were you, I wouldn't comb my hair while it was dry. I would detangle while damp, apply a good leave-in, then leave it alone until the next wash day. This would limit the manipulation and give your hair a chance to recover.

I'd also recommend a Jilbere de Paris shower comb over a traditional comb with seams. Every little bit helps, and this comb will lessen the amount of strain on your hair.

Don't forget to use a satin scarf/pillowcase at night. That will reduce the friction on your hair, and help with the dryness.

Finally, be patient. If you commit to nursing your hair back to health, it will grow, and you will retain it. Many of the ladies here can testify that patience is probably the best growth aid they've ever tried.

Everything will be ok. Happy Hair Growing!

 

[janeemat]

I had similar damage in 2005. This is what I did. I use what I refer to as a round of aphogee treatments for a month. Once a week which was every Sat. Since it will dry hard on your hair be sure to keep the water pressure on low until it softens back up. Then use Nexxus Keraphix and Redken All Soft Heavy Cream, mix it together and put all over your hair, especially the ends. Then spray with Redken All Soft Addicative, put on plastic and get under the dryer for 30 min. This will put the moisture back in your hair. Aphogee treatments are safe weekly for damaged hair as long as you use good moisturizing cond following them. I also used the Redken Anti snap leave in really focusing on the edges and ends. I suggest you follow with a roller set until your hair is healthy again. This turned my hair completely around.

I was also going to tell you to stay away from permanent colors. I'm 44 and have quite a bit of grey but I use Sebastian Colourshines. It will last about 3-4 weeks before you need another application.

 

[Frostipuff]

Thank you, Ladies, for your advice and words of encouragement.
I do use heat most days and it will be hard to give up. I tried
a natrual drying process only to end up with, for lack of a better
description, helmet hair. You know, the type of hair that does
not move and sticks out from your neck when you bend your
neck? Quite an unattractive sight. Maybe drying my hair without
heat and wearing it up or back will work well for me.

Anyway, I will invest in tools to wear my hair up or back,
the hair products suggested, satin pillow, and patience.
I'll also call my old stylist to find out what relaxer she used.
It is a shame that I've had blind faith for so long. Never, ever
again. BTW, I think she used Affirm, but I'll check to be sure.

Fortunately, I've already been eating right, working out, and
taking vitamins so I hope to see regrowth as soon as humanly
possible.

Janeemat, thank you for the color suggestion. One thing I can
not give up is the coverage of the grey. I look really good for
my age and I don't want my hair giving me away. I am getting
on the road to the beauty supply store within minutes....


Blessings to you all and thank you!

Loretta

 

[rdm]

I am in my 40 s too. I have been coloring my hair for almost 10 years now. I highly recommend Sebastians Colorshinestoo. It works much better than those temp colors. It is hard to find in the stores. You can order on line. Let me know if you need a website recommendation.

Minimize the direct heat (curling irons and blow dyers).

Be careful with the Aphogee!!! Make sure that you gently rinse and moisturize like your life depended on it!!

We will all get through this together and a warm welcome to the LHCF sisterhood!!!

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Welcome, and I couldn't have said it any better, excellent advice

First of all, welcome to the board. We're glad to have you here. Get comfortable and read as much as you can. There's plenty of information here that can help you. Don't fret...with time and TLC, your hair will be back in no time!

Now to address your situation: I would not let another hairdresser near my head nor would I relax again for a long (4-5 months) time. I know those may seem like daunting tasks, but honestly, I think your hair will thank you for it. It sounds like your hair has been under a tremendous amount of stress with all the chemicals and styling, and now it's starting to show.

The key is going to be nursing it back to health. This will probably be a process that will take months. You didn't do all the damage in a day, and the health of your hair won't be restored in a day. You have to be consistent and patient.

Anything that's causing problems right now - the color wand, relaxers, heat, color - it all needs to go...at least for now. Everything that touches your head should be the for the sole purpose of improving its health and nothing else. I know you probably hate the grey, but you may have to let it ride until you can restore the health of your hair...wigs are always an option if it's unbearable.

Deep conditioning would probably help tremendously. You may have to do some experimenting to find a regimen that's right for you, but the main idea to keep a clean scalp and moisturized length. Shampooing and deep conditioning or CO washing and deep conditioning once a week should achieve that.

You didn't mention whether you use heated appliances, but if you do, I'd lay off of those for at least 6 months. There's a recent thread on protective styles so if your hair isn't long enough to go into a bun, you may want to check that thread for ideas on how to protect your hair while it grows.

Your new growth may be crunchy due to protein overload. ApHOGEE twice in one month sounds like way too much, even if you have severe brekage. Keep in mind that in order to achieve healthy hair, there must be a balance between protein and moisture. Dry hair breaks just as much as weak hair does so be careful not to overdo it with the protein in an effort to curb the breakage.

Good call on starting the vitamins. Also, be sure to drink plenty of water and eat right. Healthy hair starts before we even see the strand. A diet rich in fruits and vegetables and protein will help improve the overall condition of your hair.

Also, if I were you, I wouldn't comb my hair while it was dry. I would detangle while damp, apply a good leave-in, then leave it alone until the next wash day. This would limit the manipulation and give your hair a chance to recover.

I'd also recommend a Jilbere de Paris shower comb over a traditional comb with seams. Every little bit helps, and this comb will lessen the amount of strain on your hair.

Don't forget to use a satin scarf/pillowcase at night. That will reduce the friction on your hair, and help with the dryness.

Finally, be patient. If you commit to nursing your hair back to health, it will grow, and you will retain it. Many of the ladies here can testify that patience is probably the best growth aid they've ever tried.

Everything will be ok. Happy Hair Growing!

 

[tijay]

be patient and develop a good routine...the post above (and this wonderful site!)should give you a great start. hth

 

[nomoweavesfome]

Why I have a feeling you are going to be a LHCF success story in about 1 year??

Everyone has given wonderful advice already so I have nothing much more to say except baby your hair as much as you can. I do know that as we get older our hair acts completely different because of our hormonal changes. I would say give the hair a bit of a break and maybe do some braid styles or wig styles.

no heat, no color, just rest and deep condition, and protein/moisture treat. Give yourself @ 6 months just to montor your hair yourself without going to stylists.

I think you'll be fine.