Help! I am single and selfish and frustrated!

[joy2day]

Sisters in Christ,

I debated a while about posting here, 'cause I haven't really been opening up that much lately about what I am going through. I have been reading prayers that some of the other ladies have left here and I am truly grateful. I love the prayers that Shimmie has left for those of us still holding on (waiting for marriage). Thanks Shimmie.

My struggle and frustration is coming from the fact that I have been single a long time. Almost 37 years old, never married, no children. I have this battle with myself because while I desire to be married, I have to fight myself to be "marriage minded." It is very hard for me to really get into praying for a husband right now, because part of me is terrified of praying in vain. I have been through it, got a sob story, I know, join the club. I know that God has a plan and a purpose, but sometimes, as you get older, it is so hard to remember that God is really walking this out with you, when things haven't really turned out the way that you thought they would be by now. I hope ya'll feel my heart right here.

Anyway, now I am facing yet another transition in my life. I am preparing to move. I am a big city girl, and have lived in the city that I am currently in, for many years, ever since college. And now I feel the Lord drawing me out of here to the south, were my folks are originially from. I don't know, it just feels like, "here she goies again." I just want to get to a place in my life where I can just be stable and content. I really want to get to a place where I can be marriage minded, where I can feel confident enough that if/when "he" shows up, I am not so selfish that I can't let him be a man. I personally think that this is what is tripping up a lot of sisters, we don't know how to let a man take the lead, because we have been doing it ourselves for so long. I hope I am making some semblance of sense.

Ok, rant over. Thank you so very much for reading this. If you made it all the way down here, I really appreciate you. Ya'll please keep a sister in your prayers. Any advice is greatly appreciated.:Rose:

-Joy

 

[prettynatural]

I understand how you feel. here's a for you. I don't have much to add but I am sure the regulars on here will be glad to pour some love and inspiration into your spirit!

God Bless!

 

[joy2day]

Thanks for the hug, I appreciate it!

 

[♥Lamaravilla♥]

Joy2day, I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. As the ladies here on this forum have reminded me time and again, God works on His schedule, so when and only when He sees fit, will you have a husband. I know that can be incredibly discouraging, but you must be patient dear. And like Shimmie has said in another thread, even if you don't know who your future husband is, pray for him and his well being. I will keep you in my prayers

 

[Netta1]

May GOD bless you and keep you! Welcome to the Forum!

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

I'm a lot younger than you but I understand where you're coming from... I hope it gets better for you... He will provide

 

[Spongie Bloom]

Hey Joy,

I think it may be hard for you cause you have been independent for so long maybe that is why you are a lil reluctant to share your space. Finding someone new can also be daunting but I urge you to pray about it. Perhaps talk to ladies in your church who are around your age and married, all I know is ask and it shall be given to you. (((HUGS))) and God big sis

 

[joy2day]

Thanks for the responses and prayers ladies, it means a lot. Just writing that out helped me, because I guess I just finally got it off my chest. God is good, He is in control, and I can just let God be God. One of these days, things will make sense. I just have this tendancy to want to figure it all out RIGHT NOW!