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Heated discussion at work about my hair...
- Thread starter Fine 4s
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simplyFABULOUS
New Member
Girl dont worry about them let a Hater hate!!
Its sad to say but some people just dont want the knowledge!
Its sad to say but some people just dont want the knowledge!
Janet'
Well-Known Member
Fine 4s,
I can understand why you got so frustrated...because I just hate ignorant comments...but, at the end of the day, your co-workers have their own opinions and reasonings and it is obvious that they have come up with their own reasonings as to why your hair is or is not [insert comments]...They are making me tired and I don't even know them.
At the end of the day, they do not put food in your mouth, clothes on your back, or hair on your head and they don't deserve the attention that you have given them...You're too good for that!
I can understand why you got so frustrated...because I just hate ignorant comments...but, at the end of the day, your co-workers have their own opinions and reasonings and it is obvious that they have come up with their own reasonings as to why your hair is or is not [insert comments]...They are making me tired and I don't even know them.
At the end of the day, they do not put food in your mouth, clothes on your back, or hair on your head and they don't deserve the attention that you have given them...You're too good for that!
LadyRaider
Well-Known Member
BlackMasterPiece
Well-Known Member
I think one can straighten their hair without damage if done with proper techniques and products complimentary to their hair type
I sort of see what your co-workers were saying, many of us have made hair health the priority and become very conservative with our hair and the risks we're willing to take with it.
For me this conservatism comes in the form of hair color, I've always wanted it but have been too afraid of the damage that would result so in a way one could accuse me of not enjoying my hair in that respect. Although I enjoy my hair in about a billion other ways lol. So I sorta see what they're saying.
I just wanted to end by saying, straightening natural hair in no way has to be = to damage. As long as you take all the right precautionary steps, and you dont do it often anyhow, it wont be damaging.
I sort of see what your co-workers were saying, many of us have made hair health the priority and become very conservative with our hair and the risks we're willing to take with it.
For me this conservatism comes in the form of hair color, I've always wanted it but have been too afraid of the damage that would result so in a way one could accuse me of not enjoying my hair in that respect. Although I enjoy my hair in about a billion other ways lol. So I sorta see what they're saying.
I just wanted to end by saying, straightening natural hair in no way has to be = to damage. As long as you take all the right precautionary steps, and you dont do it often anyhow, it wont be damaging.
LadyRaider
Well-Known Member
They are probably speaking out of envy. Not necessarily envy as a bad thing.
Like if I see a woman with a great body, I think, "Boy if I had that body you couldn't keep me out of hot pants."
So they see all your hair and they think they'd be swinging it, and swanging it and wearing it down all the time. They do not see it as the work and protection you put in to it.
Like if I see a woman with a great body, I think, "Boy if I had that body you couldn't keep me out of hot pants."
So they see all your hair and they think they'd be swinging it, and swanging it and wearing it down all the time. They do not see it as the work and protection you put in to it.
SweetTea
New Member
Girl, don't pay them any mind. It's always people with the most damaged, jacked-up hair that want to give their opinions and "advice." As for straightening your hair, do flat irons always give you heat damage no matter what? The only time me and my sister ever got heat damage was at the salon.
With the proper technique, one pass of the iron will do it. What helps me and my sister to avoid damage is to always DC right before (usually the night before for us). Then we moisturize our hair really well and stretch the hair with bantu knots, braids or rollers and let it dry over night. The next day we take the knots/braids/ out one at a time as we flat iron (it pre-sections your hair for you) and comb through each section making sure it's detangled. Then, with a fine-tooth comb we run through the section again, chasing with the flat iron. Gets the hair straight and smooth with one pass. What's also important is not burning products into your hair. I never flat iron damp hair.
If I feel the hair looks a little too dry, I'll dab a tiny amount of coconut oil onto my fingers and evenly distribute it through section. There should never be enough product in your hair that you here the iron pop and sizzle. (And too much oil will weigh down your hair and make it greasy.)
So far this method has produced problem-free results for me. My hair always curls back up with a good washing. For some reason, shampoo allows my hair to best revert. Co-washing alone won't do it. HTH.
With the proper technique, one pass of the iron will do it. What helps me and my sister to avoid damage is to always DC right before (usually the night before for us). Then we moisturize our hair really well and stretch the hair with bantu knots, braids or rollers and let it dry over night. The next day we take the knots/braids/ out one at a time as we flat iron (it pre-sections your hair for you) and comb through each section making sure it's detangled. Then, with a fine-tooth comb we run through the section again, chasing with the flat iron. Gets the hair straight and smooth with one pass. What's also important is not burning products into your hair. I never flat iron damp hair.
If I feel the hair looks a little too dry, I'll dab a tiny amount of coconut oil onto my fingers and evenly distribute it through section. There should never be enough product in your hair that you here the iron pop and sizzle. (And too much oil will weigh down your hair and make it greasy.)So far this method has produced problem-free results for me. My hair always curls back up with a good washing. For some reason, shampoo allows my hair to best revert. Co-washing alone won't do it. HTH.
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JJamiah
Well-Known Member
I couldn't agree with you more.
Fine4s please don't give them that much attention. DO what makes you happy, that is what makes U, YOU!
sorry you feeling this today. 
And I love your hair!
Your co-workers do not understand you caring for your hair BUT to give the devil his due, if you complain or discuss not maintaining vs heat damage you may be, to them, not enjoying your hair. They only know what they hear you saying and even though they may not have healthy hair, they may be satisfied because they are enjoying it.
Let this serve as a heads up - don't discuss hair issues at work because they really don't understand.
Let this serve as a heads up - don't discuss hair issues at work because they really don't understand.
Gigi-07
New Member
Some just don't realize that some of us CANNOT straighten with direct heat. Once or twice can do substantial permanent damage to some people's strands, I'm not kidding, I'm one of these people.
Protectants, low heat, just one pass, just two passes, DC before and after, all the little tricks and techniques, etc etc...none of that matters for some. Heat is heat, damage is damage, and your hair is too yummy
to ruin it because of certain risky practices.
Lots of folks IRL don't understand this (even here on LHCF) unfortunately, so IA with Duchesse.
Protectants, low heat, just one pass, just two passes, DC before and after, all the little tricks and techniques, etc etc...none of that matters for some. Heat is heat, damage is damage, and your hair is too yummy
to ruin it because of certain risky practices.Lots of folks IRL don't understand this (even here on LHCF) unfortunately, so IA with Duchesse.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Absolutely agree with you.
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MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
I agree with the ladies who say not to discuss hair at work esp. with people who just don't understand or respect the work you have put into the health of your hair. There are plenty of ways to enjoy our hair w/o straightening I agree, but IF your comments SEEM to others (who are not in your head) like you're unhappy, constricted or whatever with how you wear your hair, then that's what they'll perceive.
Not that it matters in the big scheme of things, but for myself, when I want to direct the conversation towards something I want to talk about, it seems weird to come out and say, "Hey look at how beautiful, cool, fabulous my ____is!" I usually say somthing like' Ugh, I WISH I could _____......." To which they are SUPPOSED to respond, "Gurl, you're crazy! Your ____ is beautiful/cool/fabulous.....!" But that's just me =/
Not that it matters in the big scheme of things, but for myself, when I want to direct the conversation towards something I want to talk about, it seems weird to come out and say, "Hey look at how beautiful, cool, fabulous my ____is!" I usually say somthing like' Ugh, I WISH I could _____......." To which they are SUPPOSED to respond, "Gurl, you're crazy! Your ____ is beautiful/cool/fabulous.....!" But that's just me =/
*CherryPie*
Well-Known Member
You are giving them the okay to give their opinions to you by talking to them about your hair. When you complain about your hair, they are going to give their opinions and suggestions. That's how it goes.
They don't sound like haters to me. If you complain about your hair a lot, they are naturally going to think that you are not satisfied, or enjoying it. Wouldn't you if someone was complaing about their hair to you all the time. You may be bringing the topic up more than you realize.
I hate it when folks talk negatively about other's hair, just because they say something that makes them angry. They are not on hairboards. They sound like they like the way their hair is, and that's all good. Everybody don't have the hair goals that we have.
It doesn't seem like they were trying to be nasty with you. It sounds like they were just giving you their HONEST opinion.
They don't sound like haters to me. If you complain about your hair a lot, they are naturally going to think that you are not satisfied, or enjoying it. Wouldn't you if someone was complaing about their hair to you all the time. You may be bringing the topic up more than you realize.
I hate it when folks talk negatively about other's hair, just because they say something that makes them angry. They are not on hairboards. They sound like they like the way their hair is, and that's all good. Everybody don't have the hair goals that we have.
It doesn't seem like they were trying to be nasty with you. It sounds like they were just giving you their HONEST opinion.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Girl, don't pay them any mind. It's always people with the most damaged, jacked-up hair that want to give their opinions and "advice." As for straightening your hair, do flat irons always give you heat damage no matter what? The only time me and my sister ever got heat damage was at the salon.
With the proper technique, one pass of the iron will do it. What helps me and my sister to avoid damage is to always DC right before (usually the night before for us). Then we moisturize our hair really well and stretch the hair with bantu knots, braids or rollers and let it dry over night. The next day we take the knots/braids/ out one at a time as we flat iron (it pre-sections your hair for you) and comb through each section making sure it's detangled. Then, with a fine-tooth comb we run through the section again, chasing with the flat iron. Gets the hair straight and smooth with one pass. What's also important is not burning products into your hair. I never flat iron damp hair.
So far this method has products problem-free results for me. My hair always curls back up with a good washing. For some reason, shampoo allows my hair to best revert. Co-washing alone won't do it. HTH.
Thank you much for the tip!
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SimJam
Well-Known Member
I dont discuss hair at work or with anyone else. I find that most people are not willing to even contemplate deviating from their norm ... even if their hair is jacked!
(when I was relaxed) everyone at my gym was on my case abt how my hair was going to fall out/break off b/c I always co-washed after my workout. Only one lady (of chinese decent) agreed with me. But ofcourse the other ladies justified her washing her hair after workouts cause her hair wasnt relaxed
honestly I find that in general many women in jamaica DO NOT wash their hair regularly (though I know as a child I wished my mother subscribed to that one as my hair was washed EVERY sunday )
But I digress.
As many previous ladies have said, do whats good for you and your hair. Not everyone is a risk taker (with their hair, health finances ... whatever) so if you would rather not flat iron for fear of heat damage, then thats OK for you.
We have a syaing that goes "puss an dog nuh have the same luck" basically, what works for u might not work for me. And guess what ... after u flat iron that 1 time and unfortunately get heat damage and mess up X years of healthy hair care .guess who is stuck with limp *** broken off hair ????
I say "mekk dem gwaan" ... your lovely head of hair will be better off for it.
(when I was relaxed) everyone at my gym was on my case abt how my hair was going to fall out/break off b/c I always co-washed after my workout. Only one lady (of chinese decent) agreed with me. But ofcourse the other ladies justified her washing her hair after workouts cause her hair wasnt relaxed
honestly I find that in general many women in jamaica DO NOT wash their hair regularly (though I know as a child I wished my mother subscribed to that one as my hair was washed EVERY sunday
)But I digress.
As many previous ladies have said, do whats good for you and your hair. Not everyone is a risk taker (with their hair, health finances ... whatever) so if you would rather not flat iron for fear of heat damage, then thats OK for you.
We have a syaing that goes "puss an dog nuh have the same luck" basically, what works for u might not work for me. And guess what ... after u flat iron that 1 time and unfortunately get heat damage and mess up X years of healthy hair care .guess who is stuck with limp *** broken off hair ????
I say "mekk dem gwaan" ... your lovely head of hair will be better off for it.
Amber_moon
Well-Known Member
well then... stop complaining about it around them.
Chaosbutterfly
Transition Over
Stuff like this is why I'm just silent about hair with people. If I have a complaint about something, I suck it up until I can get on LHCF and do a search.
But I don't think they were being nasty with you or hating. You did say that you wish you could wear your hair straight without heat damage. I think around here, people can understand that. But in the real world, lots of people do what they want with their hair regardless of health. So for you to express a desire to style your hair a certain way, but to not actually do it because of whatever reason....I can see how they would think that you aren't enjoying your hair. It's similar to how you see some ladies with super long hair, and they never wear it down because they want to protect it. Some people would be like...oh, you aren't enjoying your hair. But for them, it may not be important or really a priority that they wear it down. It's just an option that they're interested in, but don't think is plausible for them.
It's just a difference in perception.
But I don't think they were being nasty with you or hating. You did say that you wish you could wear your hair straight without heat damage. I think around here, people can understand that. But in the real world, lots of people do what they want with their hair regardless of health. So for you to express a desire to style your hair a certain way, but to not actually do it because of whatever reason....I can see how they would think that you aren't enjoying your hair. It's similar to how you see some ladies with super long hair, and they never wear it down because they want to protect it. Some people would be like...oh, you aren't enjoying your hair. But for them, it may not be important or really a priority that they wear it down. It's just an option that they're interested in, but don't think is plausible for them.
It's just a difference in perception.
SvelteVelvet
Well-Known Member
This was how I read the girls too. People who get really passionate about arguing with you about what you should do with what YOU have, usually do it because they wish they had what you had and if they had what you had they'd be doing what they are saying you should do.
While I see what they are saying, it is useless to get into a back and forth. They don't have what you have because they aren't willing to do what you did to get and do what you do to retain it. If they could switch places with your head of hair it would probably be torn out and broken off in a matter of weeks.
BriDa5242
New Member
Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!
before I joined this forum I thought I just want to grow my hair long so I can straighten it everyday with heat (yes I know I was crazy) but now I enjoy my hair in its natural state and have fun with my protective styles. I hate talking about my hair to people when I feel the conversation is headedthe wrong way . I just keep my mouth shut answer a few question if asked and stop it from there , I have had too many headaches and debates from it
http://members.fotki.com/Bisthebest/about/
I Am So Blessed
I'm easy going.
kmn1980
Emoticons don't affect me
Just like you hear people say not to let someone with damaged hair do you hair, I'd say don't even get into hair conversations with people whose hair looks like a war zone unless they approach you for advice. I've noticed that when it comes to hair, there's this valley of delusion that most women travel that makes conversations about it worthless.
vainღ♥♡jane
ღ♥♡honey chile♡♥ღ
stop talking about hair with outsiders. ♥
knt1229
Well-Known Member
Just don't discuss your hair with them at all. Most women don't know anything at all about hair or heat damage or relaxer damage. Most women are more interested in achieving a certain style or look and don't care about hair health.
I told one of my old co-workers that I was growing my relaxer out and she immediately assumed I must be having financial issues and can't afford the salon anymore. The idea that I wanted to go natural was just too far beyond belief for her. When I told that same co-worker that I didn't use heat on my hair very often. Again she just couldn't believe it. And she volunteered to flat iron my hair for me. I had to tell her that I owned my own flat iron, blow dryer, and curling iron but I CHOOSE not to use them.
Girl, it will wear you out trying to explain healthy hair practices to people who have no interest in having healthy hair over a fly hairdo regardless of the potential damage.
I told one of my old co-workers that I was growing my relaxer out and she immediately assumed I must be having financial issues and can't afford the salon anymore. The idea that I wanted to go natural was just too far beyond belief for her. When I told that same co-worker that I didn't use heat on my hair very often. Again she just couldn't believe it. And she volunteered to flat iron my hair for me. I had to tell her that I owned my own flat iron, blow dryer, and curling iron but I CHOOSE not to use them.
Girl, it will wear you out trying to explain healthy hair practices to people who have no interest in having healthy hair over a fly hairdo regardless of the potential damage.
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