Healing Hearts Updates: How Is Everyone?

[MzLady78]

I was hoping those who shared their stories in the Healing Hearts thread would check in and let us know how you're doing. I know that with Valentine's Day coming up, I've been slightly down (not too much though, and usually after I've been drinking, LOL).
But things have definitely improved and I hope all those who were going through heartbreak are doing better as well.

In the spirit of the February LOA Challenge, I'm thinking of doing something nice for myself, maybe dinner or something, haven't decided yet. But I will definitely be showing ME how much I love ME!

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I'm doing well. Yesterday made 30 days since I've spoken to my ex, and I feel much better. I'm glad I forced him completely out instead of allowing him to linger & play on my emotions.

I'm planning some fun things for myself on V-Day as well. I'm looking forward to it.

 

[prettypuff1]

Well i am healing myself with no man. I have learned some things about dating that i want to put into use, but i haven really met anyone
V-day is never really that hard for me because i never have a man

 

[simpleDIVA]

well I'm doing pretty good, no bump that I'm doing very well. Haven't spoken to him in a minute. Still think about him now and then but not as often as before. My friends are trying to get me to start dating again but I'm having fun by myself and getting to know me. V day isn't a biggie, but one of my guyfriends asked for my address last night. My sis thinks that he's planning something special.

 

[life_is_great]

I am doing great. I haven't spoken to my ex-husband since Friday. He continues to call me, but I won't take his calls. It's time to move on and start healing.

 

[isioma85]

Doing a lot better over here. I've stopped hoping he'll call me, and the funny thing is now when he calls for some reason i'm never around my phone. It doesn't hurt anymore.

 

[MzLady78]

I am sooo happy everyone is doing well! I really am. It hasn't even been that long since we were all pouring our hearts out on that thread, LOL.

I've spoken to mine a few times and it was cool. Got some closure on certain things that were bothering me and making it harder to move on. I still miss him sometimes, but there's no more tears, no more moping around. I closed my Black People Meet account cause those guys were just too lame for me and honestly, I really don't wanna be bothered with men right now. I don't hate them or anything, but I need a long break from them, LOL.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

I closed my account as well but still talking to that person on the phone but I don't call him

 

[MzTami]

I'm so happy to hear that you ladies are doing well.

Happy Valentines day!

 

[buttaflye03]

I guess I'm okay. My dd still hasn't heard from her dad but whatever. I'm just trying to enjoy my singledom and hoping that good things are in store for me in the near future.

I'm happy everyone else is well.

 

[sunnydaze]

I'm great actually. My soon to be ex is not in a position where he can contact me so I don't have to worry about that.

I am actually quite content right now and my little one is my own personal valentine!

 

[crlsweetie912]

Hi ladies!

I don't know if I posted my story in the original thread, but my heart is healing as well. I am really starting to see that I am NOT the one with the problem, He is! I am guarding my heart for someone that will really appreciate me and love me for who I am! I hope that you ladies are doing well!

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

Hi ladies!

I don't know if I posted my story in the original thread, but my heart is healing as well. I am really starting to see that I am NOT the one with the problem, He is! I am guarding my heart for someone that will really appreciate me and love me for who I am! I hope that you ladies are doing well!

I have come to realize that sometimesI am not the problem but other people are. I don't like placing blame and will go thru a self-examination on myself first. I am glad that you are at a place of healing, Crlsweetie
Have a blessed day!

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

I guess I'm okay. My dd still hasn't heard from her dad but whatever. I'm just trying to enjoy my singledom and hoping that good things are in store for me in the near future.

I'm happy everyone else is well.

We are still in the same boat. My daughter hasn't heard from her father either. He didn't call for her birthday but I made sure that she had a special weekend and she was very happy. Buttaflye good things are in store for you. Keep the faith!

 

[crlsweetie912]

I have come to realize that sometimesI am not the problem but other people are. I don't like placing blame and will go thru a self-examination on myself first. I am glad that you are at a place of healing, Crlsweetie
Have a blessed day!

Natasha, I was going around like "what's wrong with me? Why won't he love me?" That mess is for the birds. And I told him EXACTLY. If he's got his head stuck so far up his butt that he can't see a good thing right in front of him, that's his problem!!!!

 

[MzLady78]

Natasha, I was going around like "what's wrong with me? Why won't he love me?" That mess is for the birds. And I told him EXACTLY. If he's got his head stuck so far up his butt that he can't see a good thing right in front of him, that's his problem!!!!

There it is!! And more than likely, at some point he will realize it but by then he'll probably be too late.

I can honestly say that the majority of guys I've dealt with who didn't want to commit at the time or let me go have tried to come back at some point.

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

We sound so much alike! I told the guy that I was with that he had his head so far up his butt that he couldn't see the good thing in front of him!! This guy lost his wife almost 2 years ago and I can understand the hurt and pain that he was going thru BUT he was hurting me in the meantime. I had to let go. Its been two weeks since the argument and I refuse to call. We did apologize for the way we spoke to each other but it really does take two to make a relationship work. I am looking forward to taking out time for ME. Your right, all of that crap is for the birds!!!

Natasha, I was going around like "what's wrong with me? Why won't he love me?" That mess is for the birds. And I told him EXACTLY. If he's got his head stuck so far up his butt that he can't see a good thing right in front of him, that's his problem!!!!

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

Oh most definitely MzLady. The guy that didn't see Clrsweetie worth one day will probably try to reach out to her for a second chance. All weekend I have been thinking about this "why does it taking breaking up for a person to see what they had?" And that guy that you were with will realize what he had in you as well. You have been thru alot but things are going to get better. Keep hanging in there.

There it is!! And more than likely, at some point he will realize it but by then he'll probably be too late.

I can honestly say that the majority of guys I've dealt with who didn't want to commit at the time or let me go have tried to come back at some point.

 

[MzLady78]

Oh most definitely MzLady. The guy that didn't see Clrsweetie worth one day will probably try to reach out to her for a second chance. All weekend I have been thinking about this "why does it taking breaking up for a person to see what they had?" And that guy that you were with will realize what he had in you as well. You have been thru alot but things are going to get better. Keep hanging in there.

Awww, thank you!

Yeah, it's rough. For the first time, I'm feeling really bitter and angry. With past break ups, I've always felt like I just needed time and eventually someone better would come along. But this time, I'm really feeling like I wanna be done with relationships for good. I've gone through a lot of disappointments and mentally, I don't think I can go through this healing process anymore. I've been in and out of relationships since I was 15 and at this point, I just don't feel like I can do this anymore.

Of course, I know there's the possibility that the right guy could change my mind but as it stands right now

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

Think about all of the life lessons that you have learned since your first relationship at the age of 15??? Life is full of lessons and honestly we will never stop learning. The reality is this: do you really want to live the rest of your life alone? I don't. Sometimes we will repeat the same lesson until we past the test. Right now you really need time out for YOU. Sit back and reflect on all that has happened. And yes, it will HURT . But look at the good and bad points of all that you have been thru. Go thru a self-examination and you will see how you could have handled a few things differently. All of this is working out for your good. I guarantee you will come out a stronger person.

Also, you are going thru a grieving process. In order to heal you have to grieve over what was loss. The first step in grieving in denial/shock. The second step is anger, bitterness and depression. The third step is healing/acceptance. Then eventually you will have your strength to move on. Keep praying and God will send you the person that is right for you. I need to take my own advice but it's hard when you have been hurt so many times.

Awww, thank you!

Yeah, it's rough. For the first time, I'm feeling really bitter and angry. With past break ups, I've always felt like I just needed time and eventually someone better would come along. But this time, I'm really feeling like I wanna be done with relationships for good. I've gone through a lot of disappointments and mentally, I don't think I can go through this healing process anymore. I've been in and out of relationships since I was 15 and at this point, I just don't feel like I can do this anymore.

Of course, I know there's the possibility that the right guy could change my mind but as it stands right now

 

[MzLady78]

Think about all of the life lessons that you have learned since your first relationship at the age of 15??? Life is full of lessons and honestly we will never stop learning. The reality is this: do you really want to live the rest of your life alone? I don't. Sometimes we will repeat the same lesson until we past the test. Right now you really need time out for YOU. Sit back and reflect on all that has happened. And yes, it will HURT . But look at the good and bad points of all that you have been thru. Go thru a self-examination and you will see how you could have handled a few things differently. All of this is working out for your good. I guarantee you will come out a stronger person.

Also, you are going thru a grieving process. In order to heal you have to grieve over what was loss. The first step in grieving in denial/shock. The second step is anger, bitterness and depression. The third step is healing/acceptance. Then eventually you will have your strength to move on. Keep praying and God will send you the person that is right for you. I need to take my own advice but it's hard when you have been hurt so many times.

You're absolutely right. And I'm trying, believe me, I am.

 

[sunnydaze]

I have an update,

My original message was regarding my soon to be ex husband who stopped working to start his own business, got depressed, started using drugs and then got violent resulting in me moving out 12/05. I stated that thing reached a peak for him when he ended up going to jail supposedly behind assault charges against his business partners.

Well, he was released last Thursday. I didn't know how to feel about it honestly. Its like I didn't want to him get sent up the river, but at the same time, I didn't want him to start bothering me again and trying to reconcile. Ironically our daughter had her very first birthday party this weekend and he ended up showing up.

He tries to randomly talk to me about him needing to find a job, starting over, stuff like that. The only reason I haven't filed for divorce up to this point is because his mother begged me not to until his trial was over. Now that it is, I plan to go ahead and file. He acts like he understands so I just hope things stay that way.