Have You Ever Belonged to a Church That Seemed Greedy??

[biancaelyse]

I have been a member of my church for 2 years. It is an older established church that has it's main congregation in the older (urban) part of the city and recently opened a satellite church in the suburbs (this is where I attend. I am a Christian and I believe in tithing and giving offerings to my church. At least 85% of the members attend the main location and live closeby in a low income area.

The church has started putting on some really expensive functions that the majority of the main location congregation cannot afford - bible conferences in the Caribbean, the 1st lady throws herself an annual bday party that starts at $75 a person and even puts her "wish list" in the church bulletin.

I am struggling with this. I think that many of these activiites can go on but should be made more low key and affordable so that more members can participate. It's starting to feel like there are 2 churches and that many activities are being catered moreso to the suburban site.

Any advice for me? I have been praying about it.


ETA - I hope that this is not taken as me being negative about God, my pastor or the church. I happen to love all 3. I am just really struggling with my feelings about this issue and wondering if maybe this is a sign that I need to move on to another church.

I hope that I didn't offend anyone with this topic.

 

[1god1]

Is this the only problem you have with this church? Are being spiritually fed? I think your spiritual growth is the most important thing. Maybe you can suggest to the committee heads to do something low key in addition to what the 1st lady wants.

 

[MizzBrown]

I had this issue at my last church that me and the rest of my family eventually left.

We had to just stop doing functions. It was costing too much. Plus, our pastor would post certain dollar amounts on giving. If you can contribute $500 to this or that then please stand up and have the church secretary write your name down. Why $500? Why can't I give my $25 if thats all i can afford?

So then of course, you only had a few people who were able to stand in those $250, $500, $1000 lines which can embarrass people and shows what they do/don't have.

I didn't have it, i stayed in my seat. And it made me upset because i couldve had $100 but he didn't want that. Why be choosy with the amount?

We had a lot of small kids, high school and college aged in our church. Why wasn't their $5, $25, $50 good enough?

Trying to raise money for an expensive tour bus, trying to pay off the church mortgage as fast as possible meant needing more money faster, pastor suggesting that we buy $100 bibles, pastor's birthday, founder's day, etc...it was getting out of hand so i completely understand where you are coming from.

 

[biancaelyse]

I had this issue at my last church that me and the rest of my family eventually left.

We had to just stop doing functions. It was costing too much. Plus, our pastor would post certain dollar amounts on giving. If you can contribute $500 to this or that then please stand up and have the church secretary write your name down. Why $500? Why can't I give my $25 if thats all i can afford?

So then of course, you only had a few people who were able to stand in those $250, $500, $1000 lines which can embarrass people and shows what they do/don't have.

I didn't have it, i stayed in my seat. And it made me upset because i couldve had $100 but he didn't want that. Why be choosy with the amount?

We had a lot of small kids, high school and college aged in our church. Why wasn't their $5, $25, $50 good enough?

Trying to raise money for an expensive tour bus, trying to pay off the church mortgage as fast as possible meant needing more money faster, pastor suggesting that we buy $100 bibles, pastor's birthday, founder's day, etc...it was getting out of hand so i completely understand where you are coming from.

Thanks - this is the type of thing I am referring to. The majority of the members at our church's main location cannot afford the celebrations and outing that we are doing now. This is a very old church, almost 100 years in existence so this is a big departure from how things have been traditionally and many people are not happy.

I do feel like I am being fed and I have love for my pastor. Don't know what we'll do, but I definitely intend to be prayerfull about the decision.

 

[MizzBrown]

My advice,
Just don't do it. You don't have to. I didn't. I stopped being embarrassed really quick and had no problem sitting in the pew as others walked past me in the aisle to go jump in the $500 line. My mom would ask me why I didn't stand up with an attitude in her voice. I said I'm not gonna lie in front of the church and God and give something I don't have. She had it, she gave it. I didn't. But I could "put something down on it"..

Funny thing was, and he had a sermon about this later too, was that he noticed the people who had signed up for these contributions were later coming back to the church needing assistance for their mortgage, car payment, light bill etc...that's why he started writing names down to see what was going on.

Doesn't make sense for folks to spend $75 for the Founder's day gala but they haven't tithed in the last 3 Sundays. That's what started happening at my church.

He said it was good to have faith in the lord and believe that God will help you pay your mortgage, but you have to get your priorities straight too. A little redundant coming from him yet it was true...

I loved my pastor at the time, but he aint perfect. When he suggested everyone buy that $100 bible, I balked at him and went to the Christian Family bookstore w/ my coupon and got me one that benefited ME and cost about $25.

Talk to your deacon or whoever is available to voice your opinion. People shouldn't feel broke in church.

 

[dinaaike]

The church has started putting on some really expensive functions that the majority of the main location congregation cannot afford - bible conferences in the Caribbean, the 1st lady throws herself an annual bday party that starts at $75 a person and even puts her "wish list" in the church bulletin.

I am struggling with this. I think that many of these activiites can go on but should be made more low key and affordable so that more members can participate. It's starting to feel like there are 2 churches and that many activities are being catered moreso to the suburban site.

Any advice for me? I have been praying about it.

To be clear, she expects people to pay $75 to attend her birthday party in addition to bringing a gift? erplexed

 

[PaperClip]

I have been a member of my church for 2 years. It is an older established church that has it's main congregation in the older (urban) part of the city and recently opened a satellite church in the suburbs (this is where I attend. I am a Christian and I believe in tithing and giving offerings to my church. At least 85% of the members attend the main location and live closeby in a low income area.

The church has started putting on some really expensive functions that the majority of the main location congregation cannot afford - bible conferences in the Caribbean, the 1st lady throws herself an annual bday party that starts at $75 a person and even puts her "wish list" in the church bulletin.

I am struggling with this. I think that many of these activiites can go on but should be made more low key and affordable so that more members can participate. It's starting to feel like there are 2 churches and that many activities are being catered moreso to the suburban site.

Any advice for me? I have been praying about it.


ETA - I hope that this is not taken as me being negative about God, my pastor or the church. I happen to love all 3. I am just really struggling with my feelings about this issue and wondering if maybe this is a sign that I need to move on to another church.

I hope that I didn't offend anyone with this topic.

Just wanted to share that you are not alone with regard to the uneasiness you're feeling about this topic. Your feelings matter.

I flow with what others have said in terms of the ultimate purpose about your spiritual fulfillment at this church. If that is not being met, then it is time to consider what's going on. Spiritual guidance and strength is the priority here.

Yet, it does matter that you are ok with the general atmosphere of the church. If this topic is of great concern to you, share your concerns with your pastor or proper designated authority. And first and foremost, pray and have a real conversation with the Lord about your giving and what pleases him.

I concur with what MizzBrown said about not being ashamed or feeling inadequate about either not having or not feeling comfortable about participating in an offering. I used to feel so bad about it...but then I had to come to grips with reality about what it takes to run my household and what is truly free, cheerful giving versus giving out of pressure or force.

So I remain in my seat prayerful as others participate in the offering and I know the Lord knows my heart and my bank account and my financial situation. I also have to be open to the Lord in that He may direct me to participate in the offering IN SPITE OF my financial situation. That takes FAITH and it takes having a SOLID, INTIMATE relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

I heard a speaker once talk about not letting other people dictate what is valuable to me. So for example, $5 may be VERY VALUABLE to me compared to somebody's $500. I can't allow what other folk say and do and what they deem valuable dictate or control what I know in my heart to be valuable. I'm not saying that we play people (or the LORD) cheap. What I am saying is that we have to be settled in our individual hearts and souls what the Lord would be most pleased with in our giving, which is a form of worship. It's less about HOW MUCH the money is versus the ATTITUDE in which we are giving.

So say as you share your concerns with your church leadership. Again, still be prayerful. You may want to leave if you are not satisfied with the response you get. But you still have to pray. The Lord may want you to stay there to pray some things through. Bottom line, OBEY GOD.

Peace to you.

 

[biancaelyse]

To be clear, she expects people to pay $75 to attend her birthday party in addition to bringing a gift? erplexed

Yes!! Her wish list is printed every Sunday for a month in the church bulletin. And it is not a nice hotel dowtown or @ the country club. It is at a rec center so people are asking where the rest of the money is going since it doesn't cost $75 per head (in my city) to feed someone chicken, a few sides at the rec center.

Thanks to you all for your advice. In my case I amblessed to be able to afford these things but I guess in principle I don't agree with it since most cannot and it seems to cause the majority of the members to have bad feelings.

I'll pray on it and try to find a tactful way to bring this forward to a church leader.

 

[tmichelle]

How has the discussion gone? I remember my mother telling me that things were like this in the denomination she grew up in, I couldn't believe it but then I visited that denomination while I was visiting some of my mother's people and sure enough, what they called first lady was having a birthday and they passed around a collection plate. I was . I had never seen this in all my life although I've moved around quite a bit and been a member of different congregations everywhere I went (all the same kind). In our churches, we pass a collection plate around once a week on Sunday and you give what you can. Nobody but the church treasurer knows the amount. We recently decided to add on to our building and the same collection plate was passed. We raised 90% of the downpayment that way and know one but God knows who gave what. There are no special collections for special members of the church. If someone needs something (a need not a want) than the elders give it to them or the collection plate goes around for them. Also, all our functions are free or almost free because we have a wide range of incomes and it just wouldn't be as much fun without everyone there.

I guess I am just amazed that people put up with behavior such as this from people who are supposed to be storing treasures up for themselves in heaven.

 

[metamorfhosis]

Someone suggested that I visit a certain church. I went there and was happy to see that the congregation was diverse. However, when it was time for tithes/offerings, I didn't like the feeling I got. The usher gave me an intimidating look. And I didn't appreciate it. Plus the preacher cracked corny jokes. So I didn't like the worship experience.......