Have You Done An Arranged Marriage?

[loolalooh]

Got the necessary replies. Thanks ladies!

 

[naheda72]

What do you mean by arranged? Like someone hooked you up with someone and you were married right away or forced marriage?

I am Muslim and a lot of marriages from some of the women I know are kind of arranged. Their parent(s) may find a suitable male in the community or online and then they meet the brother and if the sister is interested, they get married. The courtship is usually very short, anywhere from that day to a few months. Only 1 of those marriages, where the parent was the wali/protector has ended in divorce, but that may have been an age issue. Because I was a revert to Islam with no Muslim family, I found my own husband, but we were married within 6 months(kind of long courtship for some).

What I have seen is that when the parent(American) looks for their young daughter, the relationship tends to last, but when the woman is young and a her Wali(the person responsible for protecting her and finding her mate) is not her father, the arrange marriage is not so good, because the Wali basically hooks the woman up with their loser friends and the marriage doesn't go so well. He may not work, could be abusive, etc.

I am only speaking on what I see with the American(AA or white) experience. Can't speak on how other cultures deal.

 

[loolalooh]

What do you mean by arranged? Like someone hooked you up with someone and you were married right away or forced marriage?

I am Muslim and a lot of marriages from some of the women I know are kind of arranged. Their parent(s) may find a suitable male in the community or online and then they meet the brother and if the sister is interested, they get married. The courtship is usually very short, anywhere from that day to a few months. Only 1 of those marriages, where the parent was the wali/protector has ended in divorce, but that may have been an age issue. Because I was a revert to Islam with no Muslim family, I found my own husband, but we were married within 6 months(kind of long courtship for some).

What I have seen is that when the parent(American) looks for their young daughter, the relationship tends to last, but when the woman is young and a her Wali(the person responsible for protecting her and finding her mate) is not her father, the arrange marriage is not so good, because the Wali basically hooks the woman up with their loser friends and the marriage doesn't go so well. He may not work, could be abusive, etc.

I am only speaking on what I see with the American(AA or white) experience. Can't speak on how other cultures deal.

Not necessarily forced. Like someone (e.g., the parents) hooked you up with someone and you married right away.

Thank you so much for sharing .. especially the bolded. I appreciate the perspective.