Has anyone tried couples counceling?

[MissMariee]

My boyfriend and I are young. I just turned 20 and he's 19, almost 20. We'll have been together for three years come next month, and we have a two year old. Our relationship has had soooo many ups&downs, as any relationship does. Given our age, and situation I know statistics aren't on our side, but I feel we've made it farther than a lot of other young parents.
Anyways, recently we've finally realized most of our fights/arguments are the fault of poor communication. I'm think of bringing up couples counceling with him, I don't think he'll be opposed to the idea.
Has anyone here been? Was it helpful? Did it make things worse?

 

[Evolving78]

i've had marriage counseling and it made things worse. but i think it would be great for your relationship. you both agree on what is troubling your partnership and both parties are willing to go.

make sure you go to some that can help offer solutions and activities to help your situation improve. we had counselors that just couldn't get control of us and would just let us battle it out. we would leave sessions drained from fighting.

 

[MissMariee]

i've had marriage counseling and it made things worse. but i think it would be great for your relationship. you both agree on what is troubling your partnership and both parties are willing to go.

make sure you go to some that can help offer solutions and activities to help your situation improve. we had counselors that just couldn't get control of us and would just let us battle it out. we would leave sessions drained from fighting.

Yeah I think a lot of it depends on the counselor, I've been going myself since I was a sophomore in high school for severe depression and anxiety and my first counselor was not helpful at all. But I'm hoping that if we start going now, it'll make things better before they get worse. Thanks for your input!

 

[SamandI]

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[The Girl]

yes and oddly enough: he was younger than I as well. I was with it(all the 'homework'/exercises, etc) but as the real issues came out he got that much more mad/angry/upset. Later, he admitted that he felt if we needed counseling, it was already over. He also was clearly not willing to put in the work to bring us back to 1.

 

[IrrationalThoughts]

Yes, we went while I was pregnant to help with communication and co parenting. We had to stop shortly before I gave birth. I think it did help and I still bring up stuff we learned/talked about in therapy. We are also both in individual therapy as well. We both have issues that play into the issues with have with each other. It is a work in progress. I am looking forward to a time when we can go again...soon.

I think you should do it, but also keep in mind that things may come up that may require individual sessions to suss out why you are having a hard time with each other.