HAS ANYONE REALLY GIVEN UP....

[FunkyMunky]

ON LOVE?? :heart2:

After a break-up or a failed relationship, we all go through the stage where we say to ourselves "forget this crap, it ain't worth it." We swear to never put ourselves through it again and that we are officially throwing in the towel.

Then, after some time has passed we get back in the game.

Has anyone really thrown in the towel on finding love or that "relationship"? Have you given up?

If so, how long has it been and how is it working out for you.

 

[cocoberry10]

I want to know too. I haven’t given up, but I admit that I’m a little discouraged right now.

 

[sunnydaze]

Right now I don't really think about it, but I definitely have not given up. Its sad to think that people have!

 

[MzLady78]

Sometimes I think I'm almost there. And believe me, it took a lot for me to get to this point. I was always been able to be pretty optimistic in the sense that I knew I would grieve for a while and when I was ready, someone better would come along. But I think I'm really at that point where I don't have the patience for games and bullshyt and in the 8 months that I've been single, I've seen alot of both.

I don't know. Maybe I just need a long break.

 

[Trinity1]

I've been single for 8 years....give or take a 3-6 month relationship here and there,hardly anything worth mentioning...and I can say that I go through periods of hopelessness but it never lasts...so no,I have not given up.


TeeTee2

 

[naijaGal]

I honestly don't think anyone ever truly gives up. We may go through moments of despair but then that ray of sunshine comes through and its like all the pain, misery, fear, and reservation sets itself aside long enough for us to open our hearts and appreciate what lies before us. You just have to pray to God that he doesn't turn out to be a complete wanker.
Sadly though..........

 

[klb120475]

I'll never give up. Giving up is not an option.

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

I've come close plenty of times.

 

[paige1012]

well i dont think that i have gotten to the point that i just want to give up. although i am at the "WHATEVER" stage.

 

[Kiadodie]

Yeah...I finally gave up but on searching and looking. Almost drove me crazy...

I gave it up to God..now it's in his hands.

 

[LadyChe]

I'm afraid to give up. I don't want to be come bitter or jaded, like some of the women in my family.

On the other hand, I'm knockin on 30's door. I thought I'd be nearly married or married with kids by now. And I try soooo hard only to be knocked to the ground. And it seems like the available pool of good men is drying up. Ya start to wonder "What's wrong with ME?"

Especially when you see all the triflin women and certified nutbags that have good men.

Eh. I'm off on a tangent. When my heart was broken last Wednesday, I cried, I pouted... and then I asked that the next man I meet be better than the last. I know that love is possible and real.

Even for little ol me.

 

[Arcadian]

I guess I was 28 when I just said "CHUCK IT!!!" I was too through... I started living for me, doing things just for ME and loving being single and hanging with my friends....

and then I got that email from SO. Its a little ironic how life works sometimes.

So I wanna say that sometimes you just have to take your focus off of wanting a relationship and live and do and love yourself.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to have a relationship who appreciates and loves you, but sometimes I guess its not best to put all the eggs in one basket. Really y'all, all the good ones aren't taken just yet, hang in there.

-A

 

[locabouthair]

I guess I was 28 when I just said "CHUCK IT!!!" I was too through... I started living for me, doing things just for ME and loving being single and hanging with my friends....

and then I got that email from SO. Its a little ironic how life works sometimes.

So I wanna say that sometimes you just have to take your focus off of wanting a relationship and live and do and love yourself.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to have a relationship who appreciates and loves you, but sometimes I guess its not best to put all the eggs in one basket. Really y'all, all the good ones aren't taken just yet, hang in there.

-A

I agree with everything you said. I'm single now and I want to take this time to focus on myself and my goals. I notice I always meet someone when I'm focusing on me. By the bolded do you mean date around?

to the OP, I haven't given up but I am a little discouraged. I think i have it harder than most women when it comes to finding the right guy, but I am only 22 and have my whole life to live! I started to make a list of all the qualities I want in a guy. I am going to print it out and then leave it underneath my mattress. I have heard from a couple of women that this works.

 

[BlkHoneyLuv2U]

ON LOVE?? :heart2:

After a break-up or a failed relationship, we all go through the stage where we say to ourselves "forget this crap, it ain't worth it." We swear to never put ourselves through it again and that we are officially throwing in the towel.

Then, after some time has passed we get back in the game.

Has anyone really thrown in the towel on finding love or that "relationship"? Have you given up?

If so, how long has it been and how is it working out for you.

seven and one half years. Its been great

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Well, I haven't really completely given up per se...but I AM very discouraged right now. I had my heart broken about a month ago...by a guy friend at that. So, not only do I feel like I lost a romantic interest, but also a friend...

I'm slowly getting over it, but it's hard because I have to see him ALLL the time.

But anyway...

I'm only in my mid 20's but already I feel some despair. I'm thinking: "Is there something wrong with me??" I go through bouts where I feel hopeful that something new and better will come along, but then I also go through times where I feel very hopeless.

I'm not bitter per se, but I have learned a LOT from my previous recent heartbreak. My heart isn't cold towards all guys/men in general, BUT...I think I'm less willing to just fall hard for the next guy that comes around. I think next time I'll just play it really cool, have fun, be more of a "challenge", and not put all of my eggs in one basket.

 

[lexi08]

I pretty much given up on marriage at least seems as though many men don't want to marry these days.

 

[Kalani]

ON LOVE?? :heart2:
After a break-up or a failed relationship, we all go through the stage where we say to ourselves "forget this crap, it ain't worth it." We swear to never put ourselves through it again and that we are officially throwing in the towel.

I had this exact moment after my last disaster of a relationship. I've never had any long-term relationships. They all last about 6 or 7 months and are usually dysfunctional throughout. For most of my friends, relationship equal comfort, fun, warm and fuzzy feelings and whatnot. For me they always equal drama, frustration, anxiety and little to no fulfillment.

After the last one, I felt like for whatever reason this is just not working for me. I threw in the towel, and have not been on a date or had any physical contact with a guy since (which has been about 4 years).

Surprisingly, its been working for me! I'm much more at peace (I'm loving the absence of drama), and centered. Once in a while I get a little bout of loneliness (usually during the more harsh episodes of PMS, lol). But overall the good definitely outweighs the bad! (at least for me personally, I know everyone is different when it comes to these things)

I'm open to the idea that eventually I may meet a normal guy . But if I don't thats okay too.

 

[Poobity]

No, I haven't given up. Being in love isn't a priority for me right now. I have too many personal goals that I need to accomplish. If love comes in the midst of all that, so be it.

 

[thiccknlong]

Awhhhh girlie, dont give up. I havent. I'm no way NEAR that. It's not an option. I havent really gotten into dating the past few mos cause I'm working so much and focusing on that and self. Right now, I just dont have time. I'm to tired when I come home. And on my way home, I'm on the phone. When I get home, I'm on the phone, on here, or just sitting just getting some R and R.

Once things slow down, I'll do more social stuff. Were planning several social thingies so, I'll start to look out for the cuties then

 

[FlowerHair]

I haven't given up and I will never give up

That would be like giving up on finding a job...you can't just let it go and expect it to happen.

I did that for many years and I was single.
As soon as I started looking, I found my ex.

 

[Arcadian]

I agree with everything you said. I'm single now and I want to take this time to focus on myself and my goals. I notice I always meet someone when I'm focusing on me. By the bolded do you mean date around?

to the OP, I haven't given up but I am a little discouraged. I think i have it harder than most women when it comes to finding the right guy, but I am only 22 and have my whole life to live! I started to make a list of all the qualities I want in a guy. I am going to print it out and then leave it underneath my mattress. I have heard from a couple of women that this works.

Yeah, if you want to. I've noticed that sometimes women tend to get so wrapped up in their relationship or finding someone to have a relationship with instead of concentrating on themselves. I'm not saying thats all women, but quite a lot do it.

The time I spent out of a relationship I really learned quite a lot about myself. I had self improvement projects that were taken on during that time too. I think the fact I did those things for myself and by myself is what made me ready to move forward when I met SO.

So imo, time like that should never be wasted! Its kind of like taking stock in what you have and improving on the things you really want while ditching the things you don't.

-A

 

[Brown Sugar 86]

After having my heart broken for the first time last year I definetly know where you are coming from. A year later I was dating again, but none of them were winners. Now I'm going to give it a rest for a while and try to come up with a way being happy being alone. If the right person comes along, GREAT. If not, I'm still going to have a enjoy my life.

 

[MJ]

I really don't know if I have given up on wanting to be loved by others, but I'll say this much:

I've spent most of my life wanting and trying to get others to love me and show me consistent kindness.

Wanting my father to love me...
Wanting my mother to love me...
Wanting boys I had crush on to love me...
Wanting men I don't even like to love me...
Wanting friends to love me...
Wanting family members to love me...
Wanting strangers to love me
Wanting love, wanting love...

The last time I truly felt loved was up until my 9th birthday, that's almost 18 years ago. My need and desire for love and kindness was so great and overpowering that I've felt and have done some destructive things to myself, including trying to kill myself and begging people to love me.

I've learned alot from those experiences, and the variety have taught me that wanting/hoping/desiring/begging/appeasing/trying/praying doesn't make anyone love you. I knew that in theory, but it's only in the last year or so that this knowledge has finally penetrated my entire being. Now, the only person I want to love me, is me. Just me. Yes, I do have times when I wish and dream and fantasize about the parents or some man or some group of people loving and caring for me. But I'm quick to realize that all those people that I'd wanted to love me, didn't or couldn't for whatever reason. And also, my expectations had become so exaggerated from dire need and desperation, I would have had difficultly recognizing and accepting love if it was given to me. Only me can fill that void. Only me...

If I'm shown or given love, I will accept it and give thanks for it, and I will give love in return. But my love -- loving myself -- is the most important love of all. No one can love me more than I can love myself. No one. My love is the most special love for me.

 

[tocktick]

i had horrible experiences with men last year and it seems some those incidents have brought themselves into the new year. i thought they were done with in 07'. i now have new issues coupled with all of this. so now i'm for the most part upset and disgusted with men in general. sad to say that i've pretty much given up with them for the time being.

i used to be quite optimistic even though i kept getting a lot of blows. now i can unfortunately say that if a good man were to want to be with me today that i don't think i'd be at all receptive of his advances. i'm dealing with someone who may be this guy but...i'm not trying to "hear" it . we are supposed to be going to the cinema on thursday but now i want to cancel and i think i may go ahead and make up a lie. he doesn't deserve that but i don't want to give anybody a shot.

my trust and faith in men (barring my two brothers) is pretty much shattered. this is all bad loa but there we go. i think i really need to heal and learn more about myself and come to peace with some of the things that have happened before i put myself out there again. it hurts to admit all this but it is what it is .

i haven't given up on love per se but...i'm not open to anyone special right now and don't even want to just "really like" some one or have someone "really like" me. i know i'll get over this once i'm at peace with myself but i can't see it being for a little while yet.

 

[Mena]

Sometimes I think I'm almost there. And believe me, it took a lot for me to get to this point. I was always been able to be pretty optimistic in the sense that I knew I would grieve for a while and when I was ready, someone better would come along. But I think I'm really at that point where I don't have the patience for games and bullshyt and in the 8 months that I've been single, I've seen alot of both.

I don't know. Maybe I just need a long break.

maybe i should start considering arranged marriages...shoot they make them work!

 

[bluediamond0829]

i havent given up but their are times when i wonder if i will ever be married and have kids. I havent had really one decent relationship and the last relationship that ive had was like 8 or 9 years ago and that didnt end well either. So i've always been on the end of stick getting pushed in the ground, when it comes to dating and men. I always fall for the wrong ones and attract the wrong ones. Can't say ive came across one man in the last 8 or 9 years that i would say was not full of drama or bs.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

It's much easier for me to give up. Although, I don't look at it as such. I don't really have much to look forward to, as much as men are concerned. (Have you seen my generation? Yuck! Who in their right mind...) I've never really been into boys anyway and I don't really find too many attractive. Yes, I go on the occassional date and such. The few guys my age who are decent looking are absolutely insane and obsessive. Now, grown MEN... well...that's a WHOLE another story.

 

[ALWAYZL8]

i havent given up but their are times when i wonder if i will ever be married and have kids. I havent had really one decent relationship and the last relationship that ive had was like 8 or 9 years ago and that didnt end well either. So i've always been on the end of stick getting pushed in the ground, when it comes to dating and men. I always fall for the wrong ones and attract the wrong ones. Can't say ive came across one man in the last 8 or 9 years that i would say was not full of drama or bs.

This is soooooo me!

 

[drasgrl]

I just don't care anymore. Relationships are just too much trouble. I have a bf now but I have no intention of being with him forever. I really could care less about another relationship. I just don't care at all. So it's not like I said I'm giving up I just don't give a damn to go out an seek a relationship. Being by myself is fine with me.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I just don't care anymore. Relationships are just too much trouble. I have a bf now but I have no intention of being with him forever. I really could care less about another relationship. I just don't care at all. So it's not like I said I'm giving up I just don't give a damn to go out an seek a relationship. Being by myself is fine with me.

Ditto. My sentiments.