hair and emotional stress?

[meia]

could the reason why some of us ladies arent experiencing our hair goals as we had expected be because of extenuating emotional stress and pain? ive noticed lately- since so many family and boyfriend problems started, i could no longer take care of my hair anymore. it was like i reduced back to being younger again and just didnt know how to cope.

i realized that maybe why i dont know how to do my hair anymore suddenly is because of the onslaught of emotional and mental pain. all of a sudden my hair has been harder to comb thru, harder to maintain, and i feel like im shedding all over the place either that or tearing hair out of my head that wasnt meant to be torn out..

so my question to you ladies is do any of you feel that emotional stress (think really in-depth about your life lately) is the reason why you havent reached your hair goals? have you noticed you hair lately being easier to manage or take care of of the entire opposite? sometimes the smallest issues in our lives account for the biggest problems we have when attempting such a drastic change..

hehehe just wanted to get yall thinkin!
thank you!
meia

 

[Kitkat]

Stress can definitely hinder one from reaching hair goals. Studying for the bar exam years ago, my hair was in the worst shape it's ever been in. Dry, damaged, breaking, and to top it off a balding spot in the center of my head that I'd never had before. So I know from experience that it can happen. Once the stress of studying for the exam was over, my hair started to thrive again.

 

[*Happily Me*]

While i was transitioning I was going through a separation and i got a new job. I was so stressed and having to deal with type 4b/a hair was not working out **for me**. My hair was ridiculously hard to comb, dry, brittle and breaking.

After relaxing, I'm still stressed out a bit, but my hair is easier to manage and I don't have to think about it as much. I can wake up, jump in the shower, do a wash and go, then worry about the other things in life that stress me out!

I do imagine myself chasing a more natural way of life again but it'll have to be when other areas of my life are smooth and in synch. Stress does a number on our hair.

ETA - the area by my temples are balding. That's stress!

 

[meia]

kitkat-its really weird how something completely separate from our body functions can cause our body to react in certain ways i guess as a way of coping with excess stress emotionally and mentally...thats kinda how i am now..im stepping from one page of my life onto another and it feels like my hair is in some of the worse shape its ever been..hard to manage and deal with, dry and brittle, and even splits up 4 inches of hair! im definitely glad to see that that spell passed you and now youre on the road to healthier hair again!


dsylla- im transitioning now myself! its funny how we decide to make these hair changes at some of the more rougher spots in our life..i think for both you, me, and some of the other sistas on this board, we might have to really start transitioning once we get to a point in our lives where we find ourselves the happiest- not just satisfied with the direction of our lives but truly satisfied...*by the way your hair is beautiful! definitely something to be proud of!! * im chasing a quasi-natural way of life now lol (nevermind the series of 4 perms i want to get! lol) that im getting to see a therapist, finishing up college, and really getting my life in check. i think it'll come soon for all of us in some form- happiness is never hard to get, but rather its hard to make it last..and you certainly right- it really does a number on our hair..but i dont think we have to worry much- we'll definitely get through it!

 

[*Happily Me*]

dsylla- im transitioning now myself! its funny how we decide to make these hair changes at some of the more rougher spots in our life..i think for both you, me, and some of the other sistas on this board, we might have to really start transitioning once we get to a point in our lives where we find ourselves the happiest- not just satisfied with the direction of our lives but truly satisfied...*by the way your hair is beautiful! definitely something to be proud of!! * im chasing a quasi-natural way of life now lol (nevermind the series of 4 perms i want to get! lol) that im getting to see a therapist, finishing up college, and really getting my life in check. i think it'll come soon for all of us in some form- happiness is never hard to get, but rather its hard to make it last..and you certainly right- it really does a number on our hair..but i dont think we have to worry much- we'll definitely get through it!

So true! In fact, i'm thinking about some locs at some point down the road.

You're so right about happiness too. I was just thinking the other day how I need to strenghthen my coping skills; how good times always come, even in the midst of stressful times. How can I cope when ish hits the fan again? Cause it will! How do I position myself so that when things get funky again, I can ride it out with some peace of mind believing that everything IS going to be alright?

For me, this means talking to my friends and being completely honest with my ish. Just confessing. It also means staying on top of my appearance (doing hot oil treatments and deep conditioning, occasionally setting my hair at night, and shopping for new clothes, which i HATE) and not hibernating. Being proactive and not letting things pile up before I so something about it.

While I was transitioning, my hair was one more thing i had to worry about and I hated that.

 

[meia]

So true! In fact, i'm thinking about some locs at some point down the road.

You're so right about happiness too. I was just thinking the other day how I need to strenghthen my coping skills; how good times always come, even in the midst of stressful times. How can I cope when ish hits the fan again? Cause it will! How do I position myself so that when things get funky again, I can ride it out with some peace of mind believing that everything IS going to be alright?

For me, this means talking to my friends and being completely honest with my ish. Just confessing. It also means staying on top of my appearance (doing hot oil treatments and deep conditioning, occasionally setting my hair at night, and shopping for new clothes, which i HATE) and not hibernating. Being proactive and not letting things pile up before I so something about it.

While I was transitioning, my hair was one more thing i had to worry about and I hated that.

Locs are truly beautiful! And would definitely be a worth while experience! Its funny Because I hear so many women talking about how growing long hair is impossible If its not in your genetics…anything is possible to me. Life is such a long stretch And in my opinion you only get one chance to reach for every dream you’ve ever Had- whatever that may be and to have someone say since its not in your genetics It cant happen makes me mad- ive seen before, anything is possible..



Recently because his phone is having problems, me and my boyfriend haven’t talked In a while. this inability to talk to him has actually brought my life to an interesting Halt. While this may sound bad, ive recently Experienced some of the worse crying and depression in my life- I’ve even stopped eating and lol unfortunately im just not the type To turn down a good plate of food hahaha…well during this time I’ve really put a mirror To my life. I’ve glanced at the way I treat people, the way I treat myself, the way I cope as well, and the direction of my life. I think (and im not really all that religious but I definitely subscribe to a higher being)..its a blessing when things like this happen. It gives you a chance to hurt but also a chance to grow as a person.



When it comes to me and my boyfriend we truly complete each other—weve both hurt each other so much in this relationship but yet relentlessly we’ve stuck together. This whole time the only things that have kept me somewhat sane were:

-Realizing that I need to get out and experience life by myself

-Sometimes crying is all you can do when youre sad and frustrated

-Writing helps to cope with anything- ish still hurts but you feel better with it on paper than on your mind

-Realize that no matter how you grieve- through tears, not eating anything, whatever is healthy- not reacting is the only thing not healthy

-Realizing that I need to really take a good look at my life currently

-Aim to change myself (on the outside)- not for anyone but me to a person that im proud of

-Realizing that those good times we have together are something truly worth keeping To my heart regardless of what good or bad may come out of us being together..



So id definitely say the best way to position yourself is in the middle- realize that maybe everything is horrible now but you can better yourself from the experience at the same time so its not for naught you know?

"It also means staying on top of my appearance (doing hot oil treatments and deep conditioning, occasionally setting my hair at night, and shopping for new clothes, which i HATE"

Hahaha girl I feel you! The other day I went out shopping because I felt like I was losing my mind and bought some cheap stuff but it made me feel so much better to know that I got it done and I can now look forward. Im worrying about that transitioning now lol and im losing my mind hahaha but im too broke and my hairline is receeding too much for me to do a relaxer you know? Lol..ima attempt to ride this out and if all else fails, im going to do some type of process before I chop it all off. Its crossed my mind a few times and im so tempted..lol.

i got faith we gonna make it through this..i really think so..

 

[Kimberly]

I know without a doubt that stress and depression inhibits my hair growth and the condition of my hair. When things are not right with me, it comes out by the handfuls.

 

[LovelyZ]

OMG yes! I got married earlier this year, and for the six or so months prior to that, I saw hardly any hair growth. I was so stressed so much of the time it showed in my hair, my skin, and my attitude. Luckily, I got it together in the weeks leading up to the wedding and my nails and skin looked great; but my hair did not have time to fully recover its length.