Guilt and self-destruction

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

Hey Ladies,

I hope someone on this board will understand where I'm coming from, because I really need the encouragement.

Ladies I'm feeling so guilty about a couple of things I've done since I started college. Sometimes I can't believe I'm the girl who did some of those things. I use to hold myself in such a high regard, but some way along the way I fell...hard. Now I just feel like a worthless human being, my self-esteem is very low cause I can't forgive myself, and it's been leading to self-destructive behavior. I have noticed that I keep on choosing the wrong men (is it because I believe I'm not worth a good man?). I know God loves me, but I'm so haunted by my past. I need you all to pray for me please, and what steps can I take to self-forgiveness and recovery. I need a change RIGHT NOW

 

[Koffie]

Dont have guilt because as your title suggests, it is destructive in nature.

You seriously need to forgive yourself becuase if you don't it will lead in condemnation.

And as you have expressed, it DOES tear down your sense of self worth.

This guilt you are experiencing is NOT coming from God.


Conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit which draws us Toward God and affirms our self worth while leading us to acknowledge and deal honestly with our sin. Conviction yields grace and mercy not condemnation.

Read Isahiah 1:18 & Psalm 103:12 & 1st John 1:9 and meditate on these. And anything that you did in your past, God does not remember, for you are a new creation in Christ! (2nd Corinthians 5:17)

So guilt from your past is coming from the enemy.

If you stay stuck on what you did in your past then you will be stagnant, and the stage after stagnation is death.

Strive for the things which which lye ahead so that you can fulfill God's purpose for your life. Phillipians 3:13

'Cause if the enemy can keep you stuck in your past, then you will not be worried about what God has in store for your future.

I also want you to meditate on Jeremiah 29:11

And rember also this, what ever you care more about than God, subconciously you are worshiping it and God will have no other Gods before Him. (Don't worship your past)


Remember this: THIS IS NO FUTURE IN YOUR PAST!!!!!!

 

[shunemite]

I have noticed that I keep on choosing the wrong men (is it because I believe I'm not worth a good man?).

A good gulity conscience is brought by the Holy Spirit that causes you to have conflict, repent, and change. Anything later on is a lie of the enemy. Remember, he is "the father of all lies".

I relate very much to choosing the wrong men. I do that all the time! May I ask you, what exactly attracts you to these men? (Be honest with yourself). I asked myself the same question, and I realized that by growing up in the church with my dad as a pastor, I felt I never got to "experience life" and wanted to rebel, so I was attracted to the bad boys because they were "exciting". It's only after being hurt and heart broken time after time that I'm finally learning my lesson.

As far as not being worth a good man, that's just another lie from the enemy. Your past is your PAST. There are SO MANY women in the Bible whose lives were "gone", and God used them. Remember Mary the prostitute who cried at Jesus' feet and wiped them with her hair? The disciples knew who she was and thought Jesus shouldn't have anything to do with her. But Jesus forgave her, became a good friend of hers, and she was one of the first people to see HIm when he resurrected. Let me also mention Rahab, another prostitute in the old Testament, that God used. The Israelite leaders hid in her house before attacking the promised land.

I'm not saying you're a prostitute, but I was hoping those examples may help remind you how God turns things around. God Bless

 

[phynestone]

Many of us have done things that we've been ashamed of in our lives, but it isn't good to beat yourself up b/c of it. You really should read the verses Koffie suggested; I often look at them from time to time, especially when I need strength. The Lord has already forgiven you, all you need to do is forgive yourself.

I like to read, especially when I have problems. Have you considered reading any of Michelle McKinney-Hammond's work? I suggest reading "God's Leading Lady" by T.D. Jakes - this would be a good start.

Remember that you are worth God's blood, sweat and tears b/c you are priceless. A jewel, that is to be handled with care.

 

[lonesomedove]

Great post. I also have made poor choices in the past regarding men, and at times still feel ashamed and depressed. I came to the site today feeling this way, I'm so glad that you posted this.

Koffie, your post was on point. Thank you for the Bible ref, it really helps.

 

[star]

Dont have guilt because as your title suggests, it is destructive in nature.

You seriously need to forgive yourself becuase if you don't it will lead in condemnation.

And as you have expressed, it DOES tear down your sense of self worth.

This guilt you are experiencing is NOT coming from God.


Conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit which draws us Toward God and affirms our self worth while leading us to acknowledge and deal honestly with our sin. Conviction yields grace and mercy not condemnation.

Read Isahiah 1:18 & Psalm 103:12 & 1st John 1:9 and meditate on these. And anything that you did in your past, God does not remember, for you are a new creation in Christ! (2nd Corinthians 5:17)

So guilt from your past is coming from the enemy.

If you stay stuck on what you did in your past then you will be stagnant, and the stage after stagnation is death.

Strive for the things which which lye ahead so that you can fulfill God's purpose for your life. Phillipians 3:13

'Cause if the enemy can keep you stuck in your past, then you will not be worried about what God has in store for your future.

I also want you to meditate on Jeremiah 29:11

And rember also this, what ever you care more about than God, subconciously you are worshiping it and God will have no other Gods before Him. (Don't worship your past)


Remember this: THIS IS NO FUTURE IN YOUR PAST!!!!!!

Preach Black Woman, I wanted to say AMEN a thousand times. Jesus died on the cross for ALL sins do not let what He went through be for nothing in your life. Do not nurse or reherase your past.

 

[jewel]

Believe strongly in the power of repention. Repent your sins to the Lord with all your heart and it shall be forgiven. No one is perfect we all fall short, but we are given a second chance through the blood of Jesus. Know that your past is behind you focus on the present and future. For words of encouragement read Psalms there are many prayers in there that will help give you peace of mind. God Bless!