Going to a Single's Mixer

A

Avyn

Well-Known Member
...never been to one. What to expect? I hate making small talk, so what should I do? I can see myself going and finding a booth to watch the action. It's a happy hour singles' mixer hosted by a local online community.
 
If you're that nervous don't go, and instead go to an event where there's an activity that you are interested in and do mingling there.
 
I went to one and I was the only "chip" in the batter. Not bad, no dates out of it, plenty of drinks, but I would never do it again. I would have never though YT men would be interest in a plus sized black diva. Hey, I am hot though. :) Maybe they thought I would be the "sassy" aka "Mammy" friend, NOT.
 
Yeah...I just got back in the house. It was very vanilla. No dates. No numbers. No bueno. I don't think I'll do it again either. I like the idea of speed dating better. I'd do that before I'll go to another one of the mixers.
Eta: I live in a notoriously vanilla city. Although, there is a decent sized AA community.
 
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milknhonee said:
Yeah...I just got back in the house. It was very vanilla. No dates. No numbers. No bueno. I don't think I'll do it again either. I like the idea of speed dating better. I'd do that before I'll go to another one of the mixers.
Eta: I live in a notoriously vanilla city. Although, there is a decent sized AA community.
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Going by your first comment and this I dont think you seriously gave it a shot. Probably should have done like someone mentioned up thread and stayed home. I see this alot where people (even me) get negative about something and it always seems to be true regarding this type of stuff.
 
I really don't know how to navigate the "singles' scene." I'm usedto meeting people out and about in my daily routine. I don't go to bars, clubs, etc. to meet guys. I am trying to get out and be more open to different ways to meet men. Is anyone good at navigating mixers, etc.? What do you do?
 
milknhonee said:
I really don't know how to navigate the "singles' scene." I'm usedto meeting people out and about in my daily routine. I don't go to bars, clubs, etc. to meet guys. I am trying to get out and be more open to different ways to meet men. Is anyone good at navigating mixers, etc.? What do you do?
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Why mixers? Why not activities in which you are interested (especially via meetup.com)? My sister knows a woman who met her future husband while attending a "Hiking" activity via meetup.com. Basically just go to co-ed events in your area where you will feel comfortable. That is when men may gravitate towards you - when you are comfortable. If you're into cooking events, sports events, foodie events, then go to those sort of things.
 
loolalooh said:
Why mixers? Why not activities in which you are interested (especially via meetup.com)? My sister knows a woman who met her future husband while attending a "Hiking" activity via meetup.com. Basically just go to co-ed events in your area where you will feel comfortable. That is when men may gravitate towards you - when you are comfortable. If you're into cooking events, sports events, foodie events, then go to those sort of things.
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This about sums it up. I also feel people are scared to talk to people they don't know more often than not. If we got over this fear instead of making up bogus reasons not to we could meet new friends/lovers in our lives more consistently.
 
loolalooh said:
Why mixers? Why not activities in which you are interested (especially via meetup.com)? My sister knows a woman who met her future husband while attending a "Hiking" activity via meetup.com. Basically just go to co-ed events in your area where you will feel comfortable. That is when men may gravitate towards you - when you are comfortable. If you're into cooking events, sports events, foodie events, then go to those sort of things.
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Lesson learned. I definitely agree! I am infinitely more animated and chatty when doing something I enjoy!
 
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