God delivered me from the hand of the devil

VictoriousBrownFlower

VictoriousBrownFlower

Well-Known Member
I wrote this in another thread but wanted to write a separate thread for it because I think it may inspire someone.

I can't believe it. God delivered me. I had social anxiety. It was so bad I locked myself in my room for 6 yrs without any human contact. I wouldn't even leave my room to get my food or go to the bathroom. I was afraid of my own family. But then I started hearing voices. The voices were both good and bad. One told me how special I was and the other told me how disgusting I was. I started using discernment and only listening to the good voice. Ignoring the bad.

On Wednesday I started focusing solely on god. Just absorbing myself with him. Meditating on him 24/7. And on the third day I was delivered. I went out to the store and had no fear at all. I felt like the old me before this all started. And I've been going out ever since. Just today I started my day by going food shopping at 9:00am. Then went to the mall and hung out for 3 hrs. Then went out to eat. I didn't get home until 6:00pm.

God is good. I never thought I would be here. I tried to kill myself so many times I can't even name them all. But I'm here. And I'm well. I can't wait to see what life has to offer me.
 
The thing is ladies he told me before it happened what he was going to do. I use to meditate. I would quiet my mind and just write what would come to my mind. In a quiet meditation I wrote this.

All will unfold naturally
You will begin to see great things
special secrets revealed to you
a place of constant revelation
The wait is over
Things will be moving quickly
cling to me
for I am the way
speak to me daily
surround yourself with my words
O ye shall see many things
great walls crumbling down
seek diligently
keep your ears open to my words always
fast fast as lightning things will appear to you
unveiling themselves before you
You've waited long enough
expect miracles
supernatural healing
counseling
kind words
thoughtful words
spoken from the heart
obey my command
these days are coming
the fruit of life obtained
direct revelation confidently lift your head up
 
Very happy for you, I also struggle with social anxiety and have "fits" sometimes where I feel afraid to go outside and have contact with other human beings to the point that i would lock myself and sit in the bath tub my "safe spot" and would feel at loss/disconnected with reality. I struggle with panic attacks as well. Due to childhood neglect and frequent abandonment i was unable I feel to develop the proper interpersonal skills to interact with others. And it has played a negative role in my life. Ironically I don't like to necessarily feel or be alone. There is a nice group i joined on Facebook for people with SA. And I am starting to hang out and network with others. I'm even contemplating going to take a toast masters class in public speaking. I want to start my own business as a bridal make up artist. And am trying to "reinvent" myself. I find that because I carry the burden of all social interactions that in the sense of worship I don't know how to "worship/entertain" G-d if that makes sense as stupid as that sounds. That I oft wonder if it is possible for us to have a long lasting spiritual relationship. I often wish someone would help me. Your story has made me very happy. Bless You.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
AlwaysNatural said:
Very happy for you, I also struggle with social anxiety and have "fits" sometimes where I feel afraid to go outside and have contact with other human beings to the point that i would lock myself and sit in the bath tub my "safe spot" and would feel at loss/disconnected with reality. I struggle with panic attacks as well. Due to childhood neglect and frequent abandonment i was unable I feel to develop the proper interpersonal skills to interact with others. And it has played a negative role in my life. Ironically I don't like to necessarily feel or be alone. There is a nice group i joined on Facebook for people with SA. And I am starting to hang out and network with others. I'm even contemplating going to take a toast masters class in public speaking. I want to start my own business as a bridal make up artist. And am trying to "reinvent" myself. I find that because I carry the burden of all social interactions that in the sense of worship I don't know how to "worship/entertain" G-d if that makes sense as stupid as that sounds. That I oft wonder if it is possible for us to have a long lasting spiritual relationship. I often wish someone would help me. Your story has made me very happy. Bless You.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
Click to expand...
AlwaysNatural Thank you so much for writing this. I totally relate to every word you said. I went through the same thing. I know how you feel. Believe me. I was worst off than you. But god restored me. If he can restore me he can restore you. God loves you with all his heart. He wants a relationship with you. He wants you to depend solely on him. He wants you to go forth boldly into life. And the only way you can do that is by putting all your trust in his ability not your own. You can do it. I know you can. Just put one foot in front of the other and don't look back. He can and will restore you to perfection. If only you believe. God gives a sound mind. Not a mind in fear. Fear is the devil trying to stop you from living a purpose driven life. God gives you purpose. And you can do all the things you want to do. If you put god first in all your thoughts. Please if you need to talk come to me. I know where you are in life. And what you're going through.
 
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BronxJazzy.... :kiss:

You have blessed me this. You have not only an awesome testimony, but a Ministry which will help deliver many, many others.

You shall do so in such love and beauty in your Ministry. You will give to many others what God says in His Word (in Isaiah) "Beauty for Ashes"
 
Here is my whole story if anyone is interested.

Well I've had social anxiety since I was 14 and went through a bout of dropping out of hs and secluding myself from people when I was 14. It went on for a few months before my mom took me to a therapist. They put me on paxil and I got better within a yr. I didn't struggle with Anxieties again until after moving to Va. I was living here for 3 yrs and wasn't taking any medication during that time. Then one day at work someone made fun of me and I had a nervous breakdown. I started slowly secluding myself more and more. At first I just wouldn't go out. Then I started to get more uncomfortable around my family. Before I knew it I was secluding myself from everyone.



At first I would make them all go in their rooms and close their doors so I could get my own food or go to the bathroom. But after a while I started having my dad get my food for me and leave it on a box in front of my door. I would go to the bathroom in a portable urinal and wash it out every night when everyone was asleep. I would do things around the house when everyone was asleep. I lived that way for 6 yrs. Then I started hearing voices. There were good voices and bad voices. The good voices would tell me good things about myself and the bad voices would tell me all the things I believed about myself. I ended up trying to kill myself and that put me in the hospital. While I was in the hospital I secluded myself in my room. The nurses would come in and talk to me. Trying to get me to go out and be with the other patients. I started to open up to it a bit.


I met a girl there named Sabrina. She gravitated towards me. She gave me confidence but I still had a hard time being around people and secluded myself a majority of the time. They put me on Geodon and paxil. When I got home I started going out but it was work. I had to fight my fear tooth and nail. I would look at everyone with suspicion. But I still did it. I went out for around 6 months but then something happened and I gave up. I started secluding myself again. And stopped taking my medicine. The voices started up again. They said they were love and hate. The good voices told me good things and the bad voices made me think I was fighting demons. They would bully me and torment me.



I went back into the hospital and had a religious psychosis where I was fighting the devil and thought I was Jesus. They put me on many different medicines when I was there but none of them seemed to help. They finally put me on Invega shots. My psychosis broke some and after 2 weeks I was able to go home. When I got home it was more of the same but less intense. I kept taking the medicine and the voices got better. I battled with depression and seclusion though still. Until last Wednesday when I got this urge to focus on only god.



I put my focus on him at all times. I would stay up all night thinking about god and I felt high. Like I had done drugs or something. Then after 3 days I was delivered. I still feel high though. And I think of god all the time. I talk about him all the time. and watch church shows and listen to church music all day and night. I also don't sleep much. I have no need for it. I just want to be around people and fellowship with them. Talk about god and his mighty power. How his grace can restore anyone and his love can renew any mind. The thing is I wrote about everything that's happening to me before it happened. For years while I was in seclusion I would meditate and write gods words. He told me everything that would happen. Including the 3 days it would take to be delivered. Now I know god is real and I'm going to do some mighty work for him. I'm going to be a prophet for god. And be used to show people god is real. And so is the devil.
 
BronxJazzy....

All I can do is just sit here and cry... :cry: :cry: :cry:

I can't imagine how painful life has been for you. And you have ALWAYS presented yourself as such a beautiful and loving person. I have never seen nor thought of you otherwise.

If I have any typos, it is because I am typing this through tears.

When I say God bless you, it is beyond words. Far beyond words. For there are no words that could ever define the love that God has for you and the blessings that He has always had and still has to pour out upon you.

You truly have a powerful Ministry... God is going to use you to His glory in such a mighty way.

satan tried to destroy you, yet he could not nor will he ever be able to, for God has proven to you once and for all that you are indeed His daughter whom He loves and has cared for all along this journey that you have undergone.

It is no small wonder that He has delivered you and with so much peace and love. You will stand before 1000's and be able to truthfully proclaim that Jesus indeed does deliver and He is indeed Lord of All and nothing in life, here or after can nor will ever change that.

Love and HUGE Hugs to you, Dear Sister... Much, much love. I mean this with all of my heart. What a beautiful and tender Gift you are to the Kingdom of God here on earth as it is in Heaven.

Love,
Shimmie :giveheart:
 
Shimmie you always inspired me. When I asked you if the voices were my uncle and you said no it was the devil you were right. Its just god and the devil that I hear. And I will touch lives. I'm sending my testimonial to Joyce Meyers.
 
Jesus lives on through me. He is getting his message out to the masses through me. I will touch lives. I will tell the world god is real and I am an example of his power here on earth. I was like Job. The devil meant to destroy me but god had other plans. He had plans to prosper me. Now I know why I wanted to die so bad, Why I've tried to kill myself since I was 12. Because gods plan for me is bigger than I could ever imagine.
 
I can relate to the hearing voices, I however have Scrupulosity OCD/Intrusive thoughts. I have friend requested you. And I agree your testimony is very powerful.
 
AlwaysNatural That's the devil. He puts suggestions into your mind. The way he does me. Put your focus solely on god. Listen to church music and watch church programs. Read the book The purpose driven life. Its a good book. We're a lot alike. The mind is the devils playground. But god is stronger than the devil.
 
BronxJazzy said:
Shimmie you always inspired me. When I asked you if the voices were my uncle and you said no it was the devil you were right. Its just god and the devil that I hear. And I will touch lives. I'm sending my testimonial to Joyce Meyers.
Click to expand...

BronxJazzy...

I am so ashamed at the things that I complain about going on in my life. I've never had to endure what you have so bravely conquered through Jesus.

I reach out to you with a full heart of gratitude for being so loving and so brave for sharing your heart and life with us. If anything it is you who is the true one who inspires, not I.

You have traveled through deeper pain and deeper waters which were at nose level, and yet you endured and you did not drown for you chose to place your heart and life in the hands of God who kept His promise to deliver you.

You are an awesome testimony to the love of God. Truly awesome indeed. And you are so very beautiful.... inside and out.

Yes Love you are truly beautiful, inside and out. You always were and you always will be. And forever you are in the heart of Jesus. :love3:
 
Shimmie WHat I've gone through means nothing to me. Serving god means everything to me. I don't care about the pain of the past because it didn't last. God saved my soul and nurtured me to grow. I'm a new creature in god. Now I am alive. The pain of the past. It didn't last. I've overcome all and breakthrough renewed. That's for you. God wanted you to know you were always a faithful servant and he will always bless you. You've inspired Jasmine more than words can describe. People on here that aren't Christians are hard on you and think your a bible thumper but your just a fervor believer in god. Christ Jesus will restore all that was lost and much more my child. In Jesus name. Amen
 
BronxJazzy said:
The thing is ladies he told me before it happened what he was going to do. I use to meditate. I would quiet my mind and just write what would come to my mind. In a quiet meditation I wrote this.

All will unfold naturally
You will begin to see great things
special secrets revealed to you
a place of constant revelation
The wait is over
Things will be moving quickly
cling to me
for I am the way
speak to me daily
surround yourself with my words
O ye shall see many things
great walls crumbling down
seek diligently
keep your ears open to my words always
fast fast as lightning things will appear to you
unveiling themselves before you
You've waited long enough
expect miracles
supernatural healing
counseling
kind words
thoughtful words
spoken from the heart
obey my command
these days are coming
the fruit of life obtained
direct revelation confidently lift your head up
Click to expand...

This is a beautiful poem!
 
BronxJazzy said:
Shimmie WHat I've gone through means nothing to me. Serving god means everything to me. I don't care about the pain of the past because it didn't last. God saved my soul and nurtured me to grow. I'm a new creature in god. Now I am alive. The pain of the past. It didn't last. I've overcome all and breakthrough renewed. That's for you. God wanted you to know you were always a faithful servant and he will always bless you. You've inspired Jasmine more than words can describe. People on here that aren't Christians are hard on you and think your a bible thumper but your just a fervor believer in god.

Christ Jesus will restore all that was lost and much more my child. In Jesus name. Amen
Click to expand...

:cry: Thank you... I truly mean this. Thank you so much. :kiss:

For you....

BF89-11K.jpg
 
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