:::GIVING MY DAUGHTER A BC:::

[Anew]

I've had it! My grandmother took her to get her hair texlaxed last year then my fiances mother gave her a touch up in May. I was told by both they'd keep it up. Well they haven't. I don't like the two textures and its not as healthy anymore. So today I'm cutting the texlaxed ends off. her hair grows super fast. I told her I was gonna show her fotkis of some of you who have BCd and whose hair has grown long and healthy before I cut it. She's 9 so not sure how this will go but so far she's okay with it. I'm just gonna keep it braided and twisted until it grows out. I'm also gonna make a fotki to chart her progress.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Did you give these women permission to do these things to her hair?
How short will you be chopping? Is she sad?

 

[Platinum]

Aww. I'm sorry you have to do this but I hate when people take it upon themselves to add chemicals to a child's hair without the parent's permission.

 

[Anew]

I gave my grandmother permission, but decided to let it grow out. When his mother called there was bad reception with the phones, I thought she was just gonna braid it. That was my fault I should've called back. Her new growth is past her ears. And no she isn't sad.

 

[Platinum]

Good luck with the BC'ing.

 

[Toy]

Aw Poor baby,she will get it all back in not time then some,i am happy she is not sad.

 

[Neith]

I personally would not do it unless it was ABSOLUTELY necessary.


As I child, my mom cut all my hair off on three occasions:

Once I got gum in my hair and she couldn't get it out.

Once was because of bad relaxer damage.

The other time I shaved part of my hair off (trying to give myself a "shape up")

For the first two... I really wish she hadn't done it. It wasn't necessary.

Kids don't understand little girls having a boy's haircut, no matter if she "agrees" or not. The other children in school teased me a lot at those times. There was no way to avoid it... you know how mean children can be. It really made me depressed and traumatized. I literally would cry all night sometimes, even though during the day I would put on a brave face

I would do braids if it's at all possible. Children, especially small children... they just see it as something that makes one weird and different.

Hopefully she won't have to deal with what I had to deal with!

 

[vkb247]

DO you have to cut it? I understand that you don't like it but maybe it can be nurtured into better condition. Will other people be responsible for her hair again? Maybe you should think about teaching her about proper hair care and things she can to for herself ( I know plenty of 9 and 10 year olds that can braid better than I can). Maybe you will find a better answer from other mother's in the kids hair forum.

 

[Maynard]

I commend you for taking charge of your daughters hair.

She'll be alright and will soon have a new head of hair.

 

[glam-]

I personally would not do it unless it was ABSOLUTELY necessary.


As I child, my mom cut all my hair off on three occasions:

Once I got gum in my hair and she couldn't get it out.

Once was because of bad relaxer damage.

The other time I shaved part of my hair off (trying to give myself a "shape up")

For the first two... I really wish she hadn't done it. It wasn't necessary.

Kids don't understand little girls having a boy's haircut, no matter if she "agrees" or not. The other children in school teased me a lot at those times. There was no way to avoid it... you know how mean children can be. It really made me depressed and traumatized. I literally would cry all night sometimes, even though during the day I would put on a brave face

I would do braids if it's at all possible. Children, especially small children... they just see it as something that makes one weird and different.

Hopefully she won't have to deal with what I had to deal with!

I agree with Neith. If at all possible, I wouldn't cut it. I would do braids until the natural hair is close to the same length as her hair is now. Or just keep it in a ponytail most of the time. Going to short hair is really hard when you are young. It was hard for me when I was 30.

 

[carameldiva]

You are doing the right thing. I know that you will take care of her hair and that it will grow back strong and healthy.

 

[Curlee_lurker]

She said her hair is past her ears, she's not sad and she intends to do braids and twists. It should be fine.

I would agree if she shaved her head and sent her off it would be awkward. She has a great plan and I think it's awesome to show her that cutting her hair off is not a big deal. I never had a big hair cut when I was young and saw that it's nothing, so when I had chemical damage 2 years ago (after joining LHCF) and had to go from waist length to ear I cried every day for a month.

 

[Chameleonchick]

I gave my grandmother permission, but decided to let it grow out. When his mother called there was bad reception with the phones, I thought she was just gonna braid it. That was my fault I should've called back. Her new growth is past her ears. And no she isn't sad.

Oh good, I thought you were taking it all off, my mother BC'd my past shoulder length hair to nothing I mean skin bald at 12. She was just very crazy at trying to get her point across(She didn't like me using a curling iron). Still 11 years later I get mad about it.

I'm glad you talked about this with her, before you did it and she's not sad about it. Her hair will be back in no time. Hope it goes well!

 

[Neith]

My first post wasn't meant to offend... but I was trying to communicate what the experience may be like from a little girl's perspective.

Like I said, I put on a brave face for my mother and those close to me, but it really did have me depressed.

My mother talked to me about it before doing it and I agreed to it each time... however, inside I didn't feel quite so happy with it. I was a good little girl and I did what my mother said and I believed that my mom knew better than me. I guess I appeared to be happy with it from her point of view.

Kids are stronger than you think... but it was a horrible experience for me. I can't say that it destroyed my life or childhood and that I didn't recover from it, but I think if my mom KNEW what I really went through, she would have tried to find another option.

Just trying to help... not judging or telling anyone how to raise their children!

I sincerely hope things turn out for the best!

 

[DMJ's Mom]

i think short hair depends on the child when i was 10 i begged my mom to let me cut my hair andfinally she agreed i cut it to ear length i loved it and never got teased about my short hair. good luck with your daughter's bc.

 

[Anew]

Thank you all. I'm kind of leaning towards waiting until the end of the year like I originally planned.

 

[blue_flower]

That's a good decision you've made. When I was a kid my mom, aunt, and grandmother would give me relaxers and then forget about it. My hair was always a mess. Cut it short and let it grow healthy gain. Tell those women not to touch your child's hair without your permission.