Giving Men Negative Power Over Women - Spinoff Sugar Daddy Thread

[Shimmie]

The sugar daddy thread saddens me so much. Women are the most beautiful gift that a man could ever have. Money and riches can never surpass the value of a woman. Not ever.

If this were so, then why would a man have need of money to have her as opposed to having need of her to have money?

Women deserve to live righteously (not religiously speaking) but righteous in who they have been designed by God to be.

God created woman as a righteous gift. A perfect gift indeed. For it is 'she' the woman who was presented to the man...created and fashioned from to be fitly joined to him and loved beyond that of any other. For there was nothing in the garden, that was found 'suitable' for him than the woman.

Hence precious ones, why give away your power in the negative sense of not being good enough to marry and to honor and cherish and to be taken care of as a priority, not as a non - entity.

As women, we have the power and the gift of being more than a 'subject', or a temporary sweat rag used to wipe the smut of a man's hands who does not honor you.

No woman deserves to be degraded to such a level. It's the rape of her innocense and her queenly heritage. It's the rape of the slave women who were taken out of the fields, into the 'big house', with the promise of leftover scraps, a pallet on the by 'Massa's bed, and to empty his bed pan, but never good enough to sleep with him as his wife.

"We've" come so far and yet still live in bondage. Subjects being subjected to less than we deserve.

It seems that our 'give a damn' has been forfeited to the highest bidder.

Do you know that bills can be cancelled with a prayer? I've lived it and I can bear witness to it. I never sold out to a sugar daddy. No such man as this character, deserves the gift of who I am. The same applies to you, who have been mislead into thinking you need to compromise...sell out.

For whatever it's worth to someone here, I love you ladies. If I didn't, you'd know it. I just see more value in what some of you may not have ever had a chance to see in yourselves. Look in my mirror image of you and see just how truly beautiful you are. Cherish it.

Peace and blessings...

 

[Crysdon]

This was beautiful. Thanks for those powerful words. Everything you said is true.

I was actually going to post a different reply...something along the lines of "I wouldn't do it, but to each his own", but there was one sentence in your post that made me completely change my mind.

 

[firecracker]

Chile if a woman doesn't want a broke kneegrow leave her be!

If a woman wants a sugadaddy but she is her own sugamomma then I say alright momma! Well even if she doesn't have her own money if that is what she wants I ain't got nothing to say "Cept I ain't selling my mind, body and soul to da debil" !

 

[FunkyMunky]

I understand where you are coming from.

However, as I say to my friends all the time "Why do we always have to have the mindset that we are the victim or that we are being the one used by men."

As long as you are making a conscience decision that you are ultimately comfortable with and not being forced against your will. Why not? Slaves didn't have a choice.

Plenty of women are okay with a sugar daddie sugar babe relationship and don't want anything more. Not everyone wants to get married or get married at that point in time in their life. I have never had one but I have friends and know people who have. Sure, the sugar daddie can feel like he is getting over on the sugar babe but the sugar babe could just be using him as well. She could just be using him for companionship, money, or to place herself in a position to get a better job, or in an environment to meet the person she will eventually marry. There are plenty of sugar daddie sugar babe relationships that are monogamous, that are long term and that do end up in marriage.

Sugar daddie sugar babe relationships are not always about sex. It's not always a whore/pimp type of deal. Some people don't want to believe that and that is their choice but normally how it works is they discuss what kind of relationship they will have, what they can give (time, money etc..), availability, boundaries, level of emotional attachment and expectations up front. They know what kind of relationship they are in from the beginning as opposed to some conventional relationships where the two people don't even know what kind of relationship they are in or where it is headed.

Many women see a man that they like and decide to have sex with him. Maybe he is the one that is being used at that moment but so many women walk away from that kind of situation feeling as though he got over on them some kind of way if he never calls. Women have sexual needs and desires too that don't always have to lead to a relationship. It's quite possible he isn't someone they would want to have a relationship with but she is sexually attracted to him, enjoys his company and may want to have sex, just like him and that's it.

If I hooked up with an ex, sure he could walk around afterward bragging to himself that he could hook up with me anytime but I can walk around and say the same thing too. Maybe that's all I wanted from him. I had a need and he was available so I took it.

I see it as negative power if you are coming from a place of weakness. I never give a man the power to make me feel as though I am less than a woman or degrading myself. Only my thinking can make me feel like that not his actions. He could only do that if I allow him to.

Men have value, emotions and can feel used and taken advantage of too, not just us.

 

[Shimmie]

I understand where you are coming from.

However, as I say to my friends all the time "Why do we always have to have the mindset that we are the victim or that we are being the one used by men."

As long as you are making a conscience decision that you are ultimately comfortable with and not being forced against your will. Why not? Slaves didn't have a choice.

Plenty of women are okay with a sugar daddie sugar babe relationship and don't want anything more. Not everyone wants to get married or get married at that point in time in their life. I have never had one but I have friends and know people who have. Sure, the sugar daddie can feel like he is getting over on the sugar babe but the sugar babe could just be using him as well. She could just be using him for companionship, money, or to place herself in a position to get a better job, or in an environment to meet the person she will eventually marry. There are plenty of sugar daddie sugar babe relationships that are monogamous, that are long term and that do end up in marriage.

Sugar daddie sugar babe relationships are not always about sex. It's not always a whore/pimp type of deal. Some people don't want to believe that and that is their choice but normally how it works is they discuss what kind of relationship they will have, what they can give (time, money etc..), availability, boundaries, level of emotional attachment and expectations up front. They know what kind of relationship they are in from the beginning as opposed to some conventional relationships where the two people don't even know what kind of relationship they are in or where it is headed.

Many women see a man that they like and decide to have sex with him. Maybe he is the one that is being used at that moment but so many women walk away from that kind of situation feeling as though he got over on them some kind of way if he never calls. Women have sexual needs and desires too that don't always have to lead to a relationship. It's quite possible he isn't someone they would want to have a relationship with but she is sexually attracted to him, enjoys his company and may want to have sex, just like him and that's it.

If I hooked up with an ex, sure he could walk around afterward bragging to himself that he could hook up with me anytime but I can walk around and say the same thing too. Maybe that's all I wanted from him. I had a need and he was available so I took it.

I see it as negative power if you are coming from a place of weakness. I never give a man the power to make me feel as though I am less than a woman or degrading myself. Only my thinking can make me feel like that not his actions. He could only do that if I allow him to.

Men have value, emotions and can feel used and taken advantage of too, not just us.

I always like your posts. But actually, its your spirit that I respect. When you speak, you're coming from where you 'know' and not from a difference of opinion.

Even though we express different views, I still understand where you're coming from and I respect you. Hope that makes sense...

On the part that's bolded, I could not agree with you more. I have made several posts on the value of men; actually there's one on the Christian forum now...."Men Fall in Love." I hope you're able to read it.

God bless you; I hope you get to know my heart as I intend to learn more of yours.

 

[Shimmie]

This was beautiful. Thanks for those powerful words. Everything you said is true.

I was actually going to post a different reply...something along the lines of "I wouldn't do it, but to each his own", but there was one sentence in your post that made me completely change my mind.

What's more beautiful is what you just shared. God bless you...

 

[Shimmie]

Chile if a woman doesn't want a broke kneegrow leave her be!

If a woman wants a sugadaddy but she is her own sugamomma then I say alright momma! Well even if she doesn't have her own money if that is what she wants I ain't got nothing to say "Cept I ain't selling my mind, body and soul to da debil" !

Among the weeds of life's struggles is always a blossom struggling to bloom into the beautiful flower that it was designed to be.

I'm looking beyond into a woman's heart who needed to hear just how valuable she is. She needn't wilt nor be strangled and die. Someone that neither you nor I may ever know about, but she's been sitting on the fence of compromise, thinking there's no better way for her to make it. Now she knows that there is...a far better way.

I think she's worth it, don't you?

 

[firecracker]

Among the weeds of life's struggles is always a blossom struggling to bloom into the beautiful flower that it was designed to be.

I'm looking beyond into a woman's heart who needed to hear just how valuable she is. She needn't wilt nor be strangled and die. Someone that neither you nor I may ever know about, but she's been sitting on the fence of compromise, thinking there's no better way for her to make it. Now she knows that there is...a far better way.

I think she's worth it, don't you?

I feel ya but you know the saying "money's the root of all evil"

 

[Shimmie]

I feel ya but you know the saying "money's the root of all evil"

Hmmmmm I hear you.

ETA: Ooooooo, Oh my goodness, check this out. I went to read it. It's actually says, "The LOVE of money is the root of all evil.

But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.

For the LOVE OF MONEY is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. (I Timothy 6:9-11)

Gee whiz, now that adds something more; there's another message here.
Loving money more than one's self; even to the point of compromise.

We see this everyday with drug dealers who don't care whose lives they ruin; companies who rip people off; and sadly some religions who rip people off (not all, but one is more than enough) ....the list goes on; all for the 'love of money.'

Thanks for sharing the word.... I didn't think of that before.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I feel ya but you know the saying "money's the root of all evil"

Not money but the love of it. Causes folks to lose their damn minds and do crazy stuff.

 

[Shimmie]

Not money but the love of it. Causes folks to lose their damn minds and do crazy stuff.

I get the feeling you've been witness to a 'lost mind.'

 

[FunkyMunky]

Even though we express different views, I still understand where you're coming from and I respect you. Hope that makes sense...

Shimmie, I always enjoy reading your responses and I think you give excellent advice. I always look to see if you have commented on a thread I'm reading and I look forward to reading what you wrote. As I read your posts I feel as though my wiser, big sister is talking. Seriously!

I must confess that sometimes I do play the devil's advocate.:angeldevi I can't help it though it's in my blood.

 

[sweetascocoa]

What does having a sugar daddy have to do with slavery. Non-black women also have sugar daddies.

Also, the tone of the topic sounds spiritual to me so maybe it should be inthe christianity forum? Sounds like a sermon to me

 

[Shimmie]

What does having a sugar daddy have to do with slavery. Non-black women also have sugar daddies.

Also, the tone of the topic sounds spiritual to me so maybe it should be inthe christianity forum? Sounds like a sermon to me

I fully explained the purpose of this post above. Out of respect for the original thread, I started this separate one in order to share this message 'without' sermon.

Take note that I have not posted in the other thread since. So this cancels out the 'sermon' behind your comments.

Love is not a sermon. It's love. Step outside of yourself and realize that someone other than yourself is being encouraged who needs to be.

Not all women who have considered or have partaken in this lifestyle, want to be there; and they have a right to know that someone cares. We may not ever know who it is, neither do we have to know. But the message is here for whoever she (or even he) is, none the less.

For all we know, this post could be 'saving' someone's life. Someone's daughter, sister, mother, or even someone's wife. Not all sugar has proven 'sweet' , but deadly.

Can you live with that on your conscious? This is an extremely serious 'woman's issue and all sides of it should be represented. Young girls are reading these threads and are extemely impressionable. In the same manner that I would share about cancer, heart disease, child protection, etc., I am sharing about this.

Again, can you live with the negative consequences on your conscious of a young girl reading the original thread and entering into that lifestyle andnot be forewarned? The original thread gives it a false sense of fun and games. And it is not. It gives a false sense of security with an easy 'escape net'.... it is not. Sooner or later, one pays the "Piper.'

I happen to love children...be they mine or someone else's. I care about the quality of life for them. I care about men and women. If that makes me a 'sermon', so be it. But it's here where it belongs.

I read this article; it may be in another continent, but the dangers are universal. This is not a game.

http://www.psi.org/resources/pubs/cross-gen.pdf

 

[firecracker]

Not money but the love of it. Causes folks to lose their damn minds and do crazy stuff.

Righto. Your correct.
Remember the song "For the love of money"?
Oh well sometimes you gotta do what, you gotta do to survive/eat.
If one doesn't have a conscience that keeps them up at night they can do a load of things. Oh well we all live and learn.