Getting back on the horse: A self-relaxer's dilemma

[Artemis]

Ok, I guess this is just gonna be me thinking out loud

When I stretched my relaxer and touched up in May after 12 weeks, I experienced one of the most traumatic hair experiences I've ever had--and I've had a lot in my day. I've always done my own hair, and to this day I still don't know what for certain went wrong that fateful day (my theory is either 1) that I purchased an old/bad batch of Mizani Honey Shield pre-treatment--that was the only thing I did differently from any other relaxer session OR 2) I used a regular relaxer on my hair, and the line of demarcation had black permanent color on it--plus the old batch of Mizani Honey Shield)...but needless to say I am more than nervous about ever self-relaxing again.

So 8 wks after that relaxer I went to my BFF's salon and let her stylist of 8+ yrs do my relaxer, and it turned out ok. I wasn't like "OMG! You have to touch me up every time forever!". But I did get burned, and I never burned myself at home (except when I used BT...b/c of the sulfur--it didn't matter that I discontinued use 2 wks prior to relaxing and clarified, too).

Ok, so here I am at 10 wks post, and the new growth is talking to me. I want to wait till 12 wks, but I really do not know if my hair will be ok by then, b/c like I said, I don't really know what the issue was last time. But at the moment everything seems ok. I have been much less rough with my hair vs. last time that's for sure, and of course been diligent about moisture/protein treatments to prevent breakage at the line of demarcation...I want to continue to stretch my relaxers 10-12 (preferably 12) weeks indefinitely.

So I guess, if YOU were in my position, what would you do? Would you wait the 12 weeks out and self-relax? Or go back to the salon, with 12 wks of NG instead of 8? Or would you relax now? Or would you braid it up and pretend you didn't have any hair ?

Also, anyone ever been in my shoes, scurred to self-relax b/c of one bad episode? I feel pretty lame right now, tbh.

Ok thanks ladies

 

[hopeful]

If it were me, I think I'd go ahead and do it myself now, at 10 weeks. I think you need to get back on the horse! Don't be scared. If the last lady had been fabulous I'd say go back to her but it sounds like for the most part you do a good job with your hair and enjoy doing it yourself. Just say a little prayer when you do it and have faith.

 

[Artemis]

Thanks so much for the encouragement

 

[MonPetite]

If it were me, I think I'd go ahead and do it myself now, at 10 weeks. I think you need to get back on the horse! Don't be scared. If the last lady had been fabulous I'd say go back to her but it sounds like for the most part you do a good job with your hair and enjoy doing it yourself. Just say a little prayer when you do it and have faith.

Co-sign. You've got some lovely hair bling there, my dear!

 

[tasty0619]

IA with them^ i'd do it myself(whenever you're ready), and i'd go back to my old routine since that seemed to be working, you can do it!!!

 

[PinkPebbles]

When I self-relaxed I use to miss spots and as a result I had underprocess hairerplexed. As my hair was growing out it was noticable on the strands and it looked a hot mess.

I started going back to the salons for my relaxer touch-ups to make sure it's done properly. Also, I do not stretch based on a calendar anymore, if my newgrowth is at least an inch then I relax because I don't use direct heat. Thus far I'm glad with my decision in going back to the salon for touch-ups. Also I appreciate some advice that my stylist recommend.

 

[hopeful]

Thanks so much for the encouragement

You're welcome. Let us know how it turns out.

 

[Artemis]

Thanks ladies for all of y'alls input.

I'm definitely looking at it from both perspectives. Don't know what I will do yet though...

And thanks for the compliments. They mean a lot, really they do.

 

[Shonni]

I agree, do it yourself. Your hair is gorgeous btw

 

[Artemis]

Thanks y'all.

Really, there isn't that big of a difference between 10 wks and 12 wks post, right?

I know a few hairstylists, and of course they're all like, "Professional is better", lol.

I'm a pro, too, for my head haha. Those same stylists ask me for advice, so

Side note: Stretching is a little addictive. Well, the thickness that results is addictive. Now that my hair is a bit longer, I don't see myself really relaxing at 8 wks/1" ng too much. It "feels" like it's too soon, y'know?

 

[Shonni]

I do 16wk stretch, my bro used to be a stylist and he always tells me that relaxers should be done atleast every 12 weeks for best results.

 

[Artemis]

I do 16wk stretch, my bro used to be a stylist and he always tells me that relaxers should be done atleast every 12 weeks for best results.

Your hair is pretty too. I hope to be your length in your siggie pic by Dec

 

[Shonni]

Your hair is pretty too. I hope to be your length in your siggie pic by Dec

Thank you I believe you will

 

[gymfreak336]

Thanks y'all.

Really, there isn't that big of a difference between 10 wks and 12 wks post, right?

I know a few hairstylists, and of course they're all like, "Professional is better", lol.

I'm a pro, too, for my head haha. Those same stylists ask me for advice, so

Side note: Stretching is a little addictive. Well, the thickness that results is addictive. Now that my hair is a bit longer, I don't see myself really relaxing at 8 wks/1" ng too much. It "feels" like it's too soon, y'know?

A, you know what I am going to say. You can do it if you want too. You know what you are doing, we have hashed it out plenty of times before and even though we both are like "Gosh, I hate doing this", end in the end, we still do just as good if not better jobs than the people end up going to

 

[Artemis]

A, you know what I am going to say. You can do it if you want too. You know what you are doing, we have hashed it out plenty of times before and even though we both are like "Gosh, I hate doing this", end in the end, we still do just as good if not better jobs than the people end up going to

I know, I know, yes, ma'am

You know I'm still traumatized from the last time...me and my nape had just become friends.

The good thing is that it grows back fast, so it'll be back by Dec knowing me.

 

[Artemis]

OT: I'm on pg 2641 of the archives now. I've been reading for a week.

 

[gymfreak336]

I know, I know, yes, ma'am

You know I'm still traumatized from the last time...me and my nape had just become friends.

The good thing is that it grows back fast, so it'll be back by Dec knowing me.

I would have been too. It was hard for me to even listen to. I am glad it is starting to come back. What are you using on it, if anything.

OT: I think I will finally listen to you and buy some vatika oil for my ends

 

[gymfreak336]

OT: I'm on pg 2641 of the archives now. I've been reading for a week.

Thats were alot of good stuff is

 

[Artemis]

I would have been too. It was hard for me to even listen to. I am glad it is starting to come back. What are you using on it, if anything.

OT: I think I will finally listen to you and buy some vatika oil for my ends

Right now, all it wants is PMSC. Plus whatever leave-in flavor of the month I'm into.

Once I relax I'll be back on BT.

 

[gymfreak336]

Right now, all it wants is PMSC. Plus whatever leave-in flavor of the month I'm into.

Once I relax I'll be back on BT.

I just put my sister on to that. She bced and she needed super moisture. I just finished the last of my joico moisture recovery and my last kenar liter

 

[Artemis]

Oh, and b/c of you, I got ORS olive oil in a jar. My 10 wks post hurr is so softee.

 

[gymfreak336]

Oh, and b/c of you, I got ORS olive oil in a jar. My 10 wks post hurr is so softee.

 

[Kawaii1]

I had a bad self relax experience and even now sometimes I underprocess but honestly I still would rather do my own. To me there is nothing worse then burning yourself trying to get straight. Maybe it's just because that one time this stylist burnt a huge scab in my head perming me but I'd rather be underprocessed them over procrocessed any day.

 

[SelfStyled]

Ok, I guess this is just gonna be me thinking out loud

When I stretched my relaxer and touched up in May after 12 weeks, I experienced one of the most traumatic hair experiences I've ever had--and I've had a lot in my day. I've always done my own hair, and to this day I still don't know what for certain went wrong that fateful day (my theory is either 1) that I purchased an old/bad batch of Mizani Honey Shield pre-treatment--that was the only thing I did differently from any other relaxer session OR 2) I used a regular relaxer on my hair, and the line of demarcation had black permanent color on it--plus the old batch of Mizani Honey Shield)...but needless to say I am more than nervous about ever self-relaxing again.

So 8 wks after that relaxer I went to my BFF's salon and let her stylist of 8+ yrs do my relaxer, and it turned out ok. I wasn't like "OMG! You have to touch me up every time forever!". But I did get burned, and I never burned myself at home (except when I used BT...b/c of the sulfur--it didn't matter that I discontinued use 2 wks prior to relaxing and clarified, too).

Ok, so here I am at 10 wks post, and the new growth is talking to me. I want to wait till 12 wks, but I really do not know if my hair will be ok by then, b/c like I said, I don't really know what the issue was last time. But at the moment everything seems ok. I have been much less rough with my hair vs. last time that's for sure, and of course been diligent about moisture/protein treatments to prevent breakage at the line of demarcation...I want to continue to stretch my relaxers 10-12 (preferably 12) weeks indefinitely.

So I guess, if YOU were in my position, what would you do? Would you wait the 12 weeks out and self-relax? Or go back to the salon, with 12 wks of NG instead of 8? Or would you relax now? Or would you braid it up and pretend you didn't have any hair ?

Also, anyone ever been in my shoes, scurred to self-relax b/c of one bad episode? I feel pretty lame right now, tbh.

Ok thanks ladies

I have been in your shoes before. And not to influence you, I went to the salon and suffered the greatest setback of my hair journey so far last Aug. With that being said, you have the tools, you do know what to do. I would rather be slightly underprocessed, than a scalp burn any day. Every time I hear someone that got a scalp burn due to a touch up, I think of Sistaslick's article, where she says, quote:

A tingling/burning relaxer is a sign that:

a.) The chemical has been in contact with the scalp for entirely too long and

b.) The relaxer has breached the protective base barrier that was placed on the scalp and is now working on breaking down the hair even further.

By this point, you've waited too long to rinse and usually you can expect some scabbing, watering, or oozing of the scalp in the affected areas several days after the relaxer. These chemical relaxer burns are not "the cost of doing business." They should not be taking place period. Scabbing is a sure sign of improper relaxer application, and if you, a stylist, or someone else is applying your relaxers only to result in scabs later, drop them. LET THEM GO! They are causing you much more harm than good.

Yeah, umm, thanks but no thanks.

As far as the possible tainted honey shield...not sure what to make of that, but all I know is that when I self relax and use the protecto that comes with the affirm(same pre step as the honey shield) my ends alway come out looking like wth? and somehow like they were not really "protected' if you know what I mean. I have have had this happen 3 times. So guess what? I no longer use the protecto. I use a mixture of Olive Oil and Chi Silk Infusion and my ends thanked me this last touch up with no frizziness at all. I'm not so sure about those manufacturer pre steps.

I say do it yourself. If you underpocess, you can always correct at at the next go round or sooner if need be.

If you decide to go to the salon, base your head like crazy. Have you ever used Summit base cream? This is the best scalp base I have ever used. It leaves my scalp feeling wonderful, not a niggle, not a single burn EVER.

As far as 10 or 12 weeks post- you know your hair best.

Please let us know what you decide!

 

[ronakajones]

Artemis, I think you should go back to the salan for your touchup. You hair is gorgeous. Whoever did it really focused on the health and It shows. I self relax and I want to go to a salon next time to make sure its done correctly. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[Artemis]

Artemis, I think you should go back to the salan for your touchup. You hair is gorgeous. Whoever did it really focused on the health and It shows. I self relax and I want to go to a salon next time to make sure its done correctly. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

Um, that person would be me

I've only been to that stylist 2 times ever--once for a wash, once for a touch up. I've been a complete diy-er since at least 2000 when I went natural, including the virgin relaxer in 2005. She is the first stylist I've had in at least 8 yrs.

So thanks for the compliment

Now, don't get me wrong, I like the stylist. She showed me how to actually style my hair and give it a finished appearance (she flat irons after the rollerset like in my siggie--something I hadn't been doing before). Also, I have a different way to rollerset so that I don't get any breakage from always styling it the same. So she's not fired or anything...I just have some...um, misgivings about some stuff she does...

 

[Artemis]

I have been in your shoes before. And not to influence you, I went to the salon and suffered the greatest setback of my hair journey so far last Aug. With that being said, you have the tools, you do know what to do. I would rather be slightly underprocessed, than a scalp burn any day. Every time I hear someone that got a scalp burn due to a touch up, I think of Sistaslick's article, where she says, quote:

A tingling/burning relaxer is a sign that:

a.) The chemical has been in contact with the scalp for entirely too long and

b.) The relaxer has breached the protective base barrier that was placed on the scalp and is now working on breaking down the hair even further.

By this point, you've waited too long to rinse and usually you can expect some scabbing, watering, or oozing of the scalp in the affected areas several days after the relaxer. These chemical relaxer burns are not "the cost of doing business." They should not be taking place period. Scabbing is a sure sign of improper relaxer application, and if you, a stylist, or someone else is applying your relaxers only to result in scabs later, drop them. LET THEM GO! They are causing you much more harm than good.

Yeah, umm, thanks but no thanks.

As far as the possible tainted honey shield...not sure what to make of that, but all I know is that when I self relax and use the protecto that comes with the affirm(same pre step as the honey shield) my ends alway come out looking like wth? and somehow like they were not really "protected' if you know what I mean. I have have had this happen 3 times. So guess what? I no longer use the protecto. I use a mixture of Olive Oil and Chi Silk Infusion and my ends thanked me this last touch up with no frizziness at all. I'm not so sure about those manufacturer pre steps.

I say do it yourself. If you underpocess, you can always correct at at the next go round or sooner if need be.

If you decide to go to the salon, base your head like crazy. Have you ever used Summit base cream? This is the best scalp base I have ever used. It leaves my scalp feeling wonderful, not a niggle, not a single burn EVER.

As far as 10 or 12 weeks post- you know your hair best.

Please let us know what you decide!

Thanks for your input chica!

Trust me if it was underprocessing, I would NOT be traumatized; I would not have closed my fotki and abandoned my station here on the boards over some "nappy roots" hahaha. Like you said, underprocessing you can fix. But when your nape MELTS OFF, it can be a little like being stabbed in the chest--or what I imagine being stabbed in the chest would feel like, lol. I spent 5 or 6 mos growing it out, and then poof! *Shudders* I can't even talk about it anymore...

The situation with the burning was pretty simple and can be corrected (I was not based enough and washed my hair too close to touch-up day), and it was only a tiny spot in the front (when she was almost done). So I'm not mad at her, but still. I burned... and I paid money...

If I do decide to do it again, and it's looking like I just might, I will stick with the products I know well, and not experiment like I did. I don't need those fancy protective creams when Chi Silk Infusion and vaseline work just fine

 

[ronakajones]

Um, that person would be me

I've only been to that stylist 2 times ever--once for a wash, once for a touch up. I've been a complete diy-er since at least 2000 when I went natural, including the virgin relaxer in 2005. She is the first stylist I've had in at least 8 yrs.

So thanks for the compliment

Now, don't get me wrong, I like the stylist. She showed me how to actually style my hair and give it a finished appearance (she flat irons after the rollerset like in my siggie--something I hadn't been doing before). Also, I have a different way to rollerset so that I don't get any breakage from always styling it the same. So she's not fired or anything...I just have some...um, misgivings about some stuff she does...

Yea, I was referring to the pics from your salon visit. It looks fuller and healthier. I could really tell a difference in the texture and all. Maybe it was the trim. But If you don't like some of the things she does then either tell her or do it yourself.

 

[Artemis]

Yea, I was referring to the pics from your salon visit. It looks fuller and healthier. I could really tell a difference in the texture and all. Maybe it was the trim. But If you don't like some of the things she does then either tell her or do it yourself.

Ah, ok I gotcha. Yeah, I cut off an inch, and she cut off some too. Re: texture, it looks like that because she flat ironed right after taking out the rollers (the whole length). Because of her, though I did pic up Nairobi foam wrap!! That's really the life changer, too. In my other pics I was just rollersetting and wrapping (no flat ironing). My hair is fine and thin-to-medium density, so it's all an illusion (yeah, I said it )...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, so just to let y'all know. I did end up self-relaxing. And well, it did turn out ok, but I am not doing it again. I hate it. And I don't like my hair right now. Yes it's shiny and still healthy. No major breakage, but these layers and whatever the heck is going on with it is just annoying the mess out of me. Growing pains, I guess. I really want to cut something off right now. I do plan on bunning until the next relaxer. I just don't really want to deal with this right now ...