Gay, straight, or undecided?

jeanghrey

jeanghrey

Well-Known Member
Just want to get you ladies opinion since I know I have no gaydar at all....there's this attractive doctor at my hospital, over 40, never married, no children whom i can't for the life of me figure out what his deal is without being too obvious and risk some sort of harassment complaint lol.....we chat enough to where I know some biographical details...he's mentioned one ex-GF in the four years I've known him but no details given; doesn't talk at all of any women, always taking trips to either San Fran or Miami....has a very aloof presentation....its a circumstantial case for him playing for either team.....are there are tell tale signs that are a dead giveaway?
 
Some people just don't date, socialize, or talk about their personal business with coworkers. Many folks go to work for work and not to find buddies or mates (of course, there are people that do). He has a good and established profession. Why would he want to risk it if one day innocent info he previously shared is thrown in his face or used negatively against him in the workplace? Simple weather talk is fine, but I would personally be wary if someone was pumping me for intel on my personal life (dating, relationship status, etc.). Maybe he doesn't talk much about himself and he just wants to be left alone.
 
He probably works too much to be bothered with a relationship/drama. Let him know you are into him (in a classy way) and if hes interested he will let u know
 
Yea I agree with everyone else...... :ohwell:

I wouldn't say his behavior automatically makes him gay. He might just be focused on work. Some people really DON'T like mixing business with pleasure. :look:

One thing I WILL say however, is that if a man is into you, you will KNOW. I'm not saying discount him completely, but at the same time, I wouldn't be holding out hope or fixing to try to do something embarrassing in order to get his attention while at work (or outside of work :look:). Something like that could even jeopardize your job. :nono:

Idk...I guess I'm just old-fashioned. #shrug You're in the office just like he's in the office. If he hasn't asked you out in the 4 years that you've been knowing him, then I'd just let it go honestly... :perplexed
 
An attractive doctor never married and no kids? Could be gay, a player, something is wrong with him that most women don't want to put up with, or too picky. I've mostly run across the last two, but just get to know him better and then you'll better be able to discern.
 
Not everyone goes to work with the intention of making close friends or dating connections. Maybe he just wants to do his job and concentrate on that.

Are you interested in him because I don't quite see how his personal life is any of your business.
 
jeanghrey said:
any suggestions?
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Invite him to happy hour after work or get tickets to any event on a day hes off and leave them in his office inside of a card. I was never good at showing my feelings. I missed out on a lot of relationships bcuz I was too shy
 
Um, I would do things to make myself look attractive and be open and friendly, but would refrain from asking him out. You've worked with him for a really long time and if he doesn't/hasn't socialized with co-workers, use that as your cue for appropriate interactions with him.
 
ShortyDooWhop said:
Um, I would do things to make myself look attractive and be open and friendly, but would refrain from asking him out. You've worked with him for a really long time and if he doesn't/hasn't socialized with co-workers, use that as your cue for appropriate interactions with him.
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Yea....my friends and I have never had good success with asking a man out....:nono: Not long-term relationship success at least.... :perplexed

Is he socially-awkward?? :look: You mentioned that he's kind of "aloof". Are you meaning that he doesn't talk to many people at all? Is he kind of to himself? Or is he just REALLY professional and studious?
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Yea....my friends and I have never had good success with asking a man out....:nono: Not long-term relationship success at least.... :perplexed

Is he socially-awkward?? :look: You mentioned that he's kind of "aloof". Are you meaning that he doesn't talk to many people at all? Is he kind of to himself? Or is he just REALLY professional and studious?[/QUOTE]

I would say there is an element of social awkwardness like saying things off the top of his head that in some settings could be offensive (eg, making penis jokes); He's like one of those people you could know for years and not really "know"; He did at one point give an open invitation to go dancing (as a group) but whenever I follow up...nothing but excuses; at this point I've let the romantic interest go, but that nosy side of me still wants to "figure him out" so to speak.....
Click to expand...
 
Willow00 said:
Some people just don't date, socialize, or talk about their personal business with coworkers. Many folks go to work for work and not to find buddies or mates (of course, there are people that do). He has a good and established profession. Why would he want to risk it if one day innocent info he previously shared is thrown in his face or used negatively against him in the workplace? Simple weather talk is fine, but I would personally be wary if someone was pumping me for intel on my personal life (dating, relationship status, etc.). Maybe he doesn't talk much about himself and he just wants to be left alone.
Click to expand...

Sounds like me... I generally don't get close to people at work, on purpose.
 
Whether the man is straight, gay, or bi, he's not that into you. In 4 years he hasn't even follow up with after work plans which shows he's not even interested in you on that level. I know its harsh, but trust you are saving a lot of heartache by not pursuing him at all.
 
**SaSSy** said:
Whether the man is straight, gay, or bi, he's not that into you. In 4 years he hasn't even follow up with after work plans which shows he's not even interested in you on that level. I know its harsh, but trust you are saving a lot of heartache by not pursuing him at all.
Click to expand...


Believe me I learned to let the romantic interest go; at this point its more that nosy side of me that needs to know...
 
I'm with the other ladies that stated that maybe he's focused on work or not really feeling you. Call me old fashioned, but I'm of the school of thought that if a man is genuinely interested in you, he will let you know.

I wouldn't go as far as asking him out because that could make things sticky at work... and just because a guy is not reciprocating your interest (no matter how attractive you are), that does not equal gay.

He may like a different body type, ethnicity, not want to mix business and pleasure... the list could go on...

AND... if you've known him for four years and really want to know, why not just ASK him?

TOT... what's with the Miami/San Francisco generalization? Aren't gay men all over?
 
Most men don't turn it down . :look:

The San Francisco trips are suspicious ,the guys I know who go there often are gay. Not saying that's a dead giveaway but yeah unless he has family or goes there for work I would think he goes for the "entertainment".
 
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Kindheart said:
Most men don't turn it down . :look: The San Francisco trips are suspicious ,the guys I know who go there often are gay. Not saying that's a dead giveaway but yeah unless he has family or goes there for work I would think he goes for the "entertainment".
Click to expand...

Bingo. Repeated trips to both of this places screams gay.

Regardless, he doesn't seem interested so ....
 
Ask him out for a drink. You'll soon know if he's gay or not.

Having said that, I would never date someone I worked with, sounds like this guy might feel the same way.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
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