From online to real life: what to expect?

[Belle Du Jour]

What should I expect if meeting someone that I met online? I've never done this before I mean, we exchanged pics, but what if I'm disappointed or vice versa? Oh lawd, I'm not ready I need some help from some veteran online daters.

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

i've met a bunch of folks online. my best advice is don't expect anything. just go into thinking that you are meeting someone. the minute you put expectations into it is the minute you could be setting yourself up. the last date i went on from online i didn't even think about what the guy was gonna be like. we met at starbucks so i was trying to decide what kinda drink i wanted to buy. good luck. try to have fun no matter what he looks like.

 

[Nola Darling]

I did a facebook date before. I wasn't impressed by his looks but looks aren't all that important. Dude was ignorant, gave me a mixtape, and was straight up country. I ended my date shortly and went on to my next date for the evening. Haha!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Ok, got it. No expectations. I think I can do that. Thanks!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I did a facebook date before. I wasn't impressed by his looks but looks aren't all that important. Dude was ignorant, gave me a mixtape, and was straight up country. I ended my date shortly and went on to my next date for the evening. Haha!

OK, see you had a backup plan! LOL, I like it!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

OK, dumb question: since this is just a casual meeting at a coffee shop, I should just pay for my own stuff drink, right? I just don't want there to be any awkwardness. erplexed

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

OK, dumb question: since this is just a casual meeting at a coffee shop, I should just pay for my own stuff drink, right? I just don't want there to be any awkwardness. erplexed

i've always paid for myself. but that's because i always get there early. if the man was already there waiting for me and he offered i would say yes with a quickness.

 

[drasgrl]

OK, dumb question: since this is just a casual meeting at a coffee shop, I should just pay for my own stuff drink, right? I just don't want there to be any awkwardness. erplexed

I would offer to pay for my own. I met my bf online btw.

 

[Bunny77]

OK, dumb question: since this is just a casual meeting at a coffee shop, I should just pay for my own stuff drink, right? I just don't want there to be any awkwardness. erplexed

NO!

He better pay! It's a date, right?

Edited to add... see how he acts when y'all get up to the drink line. See if he offers... many guys I meet will kinda do this so that I don't even get a chance to pull out my wallet.

If he seems like he's not gonna offer, then you can pay. But I guess I just expect a man to pay, especially if he asked me to go out... casual meeting or not!

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

NO!

He better pay! It's a date, right?

Edited to add... see how he acts when y'all get up to the drink line. See if he offers... many guys I meet will kinda do this so that I don't even get a chance to pull out my wallet.

If he seems like he's not gonna offer, then you can pay. But I guess I just expect a man to pay, especially if he asked me to go out... casual meeting or not!

Yes! This is always my preference. Even if he just offers and I decide to say no (which I probably wouldn't) the offering is important.

 

[Dposh167]

outta curiosity, what online service did u ladies use?

 

[Belle Du Jour]

NO!

He better pay! It's a date, right?

Edited to add... see how he acts when y'all get up to the drink line. See if he offers... many guys I meet will kinda do this so that I don't even get a chance to pull out my wallet.

If he seems like he's not gonna offer, then you can pay. But I guess I just expect a man to pay, especially if he asked me to go out... casual meeting or not!

See, normally, I would agree with you. But I think this is more of a pre-date/let's see if there's anything there. Knowing me, I'll arrive early and just buy my own drink.

 

[Keen]

NO!

He better pay! It's a date, right?

Edited to add... see how he acts when y'all get up to the drink line. See if he offers... many guys I meet will kinda do this so that I don't even get a chance to pull out my wallet.

If he seems like he's not gonna offer, then you can pay. But I guess I just expect a man to pay, especially if he asked me to go out... casual meeting or not!

You are setting expectations. If you pay then he will probably to always expect to pay. I say be ready to pay but to me if he didn't pay I'd be like .

When I use to meet guys online, I would talk to them for at least a couple of months before giving them my phone number or e-mail address. Then maybe another couple of months before I meet them face to face. This was just my weird out process. I wasn't interested in playing hide and seek so I screened them well. Plus I was busy, I didn't have time to be meeting a lot of people. By the time I meet these guys I knew this wasn't going to be a one time thing because if they last that long, they must be special.

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

outta curiosity, what online service did u ladies use?

shoot better to ask me which one i didn't use. here is the list:

1. match.com
2. eharmony
3. yahoo
4. plenty of fish
5. black people meet
6. craigslist (yes craigslist)

although never had a love connection i still like my online dating experiences and will be starting up again soon.
(sorry about going off topic OP).

 

[Belle Du Jour]

You are setting expectations. If you pay then he will probably to always expect to pay. I say be ready to pay but to me if he didn't pay I'd be like .

When I use to meet guys online, I would talk to them for at least a couple of months before giving them my phone number or e-mail address. Then maybe another couple of months before I meet them face to face. This was just my weird out process. I wasn't interested in playing hide and seek so I screened them well. Plus I was busy, I didn't have time to be meeting a lot of people. By the time I meet these guys I knew this wasn't going to be a one time thing because if they last that long, they must be special.

Yes, I screened for a while too. But then I've also heard that it's better to just meet the person (safely of course) relatively quickly. It's always best to go with your gut.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

shoot better to ask me which one i didn't use. here is the list:

1. match.com
2. eharmony
3. yahoo
4. plenty of fish
5. black people meet
6. craigslist (yes craigslist)

although never had a love connection i still like my online dating experiences and will be starting up again soon.
(sorry about going off topic OP).

I've dabbled on 3 of those, but took my profiles down. Never tried plenty of fish. For newbies, I think Craigslist is not a bad way to go.

 

[Bunny77]

See, normally, I would agree with you. But I think this is more of a pre-date/let's see if there's anything there. Knowing me, I'll arrive early and just buy my own drink.

Hey, you do what's comfortable for you.

(But even on pre-dates with dudes I meet from the Internet, all but one have offered to pay. And like Keen said, when he didn't, I was like, )

I dunno, I just think that most men who are about something usually expect to pay for a woman if they go out with her.

Plus shoot, this is Starbucks, not Ruth's Chris! If he can't offer to pay $4 for a mocha frappuccino (ummmm)... then I don't know!

 

[drasgrl]

outta curiosity, what online service did u ladies use?

I didn't use an online dating site. It was just an online forum that had a section for meeting people for friends/relationships/pen pals etc. I was living overseas at the time and just put in an ad looking to meet more people or friends to help me with the language, sightseeing etc. I met a couple of people but he was the only one that stuck.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Hey, you do what's comfortable for you.

(But even on pre-dates with dudes I meet from the Internet, all but one have offered to pay. And like Keen said, when he didn't, I was like, )

I dunno, I just think that most men who are about something usually expect to pay for a woman if they go out with her.

Plus shoot, this is Starbucks, not Ruth's Chris! If he can't offer to pay $4 for a mocha frappuccino (ummmm)... then I don't know!

Yeah, you have a point.

 

[NYCQT16]

Prior to the date I gave a trusted friend his name, phone number, and pic (just in case he was crazy) and when we met it was fine. We talked, went to the movies, went to eat, he paid, it was good. I would just say expect to be a little nervous (like any first date) and listen carefully while he talks to see if things he says matches up with the things you guys spoke about online and stuff. Good Luck

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Offer to pay and if he has enough sense, he would decline your offer. if he lets you pay, then you know you need to get out of there within 10 minutes! Not worth it. But yeah ive tried most of the sites listed and the worst was plentyoffish. Full of crappy losers.