Friendship

[DreamLife]

So I've gone into major lurker mode since so many things have been going on..but this has been on my mind for a while. This year I have lost more friends than I can remember in a WHILE and I'm just trying to evaluate things...is it something I did? Should I just pray for these people? Should I try to reconnect and get clarity/closure on the situation? Well I know I should pray...but not sure how to go about resolving these situations.

Friend 1 (girl) - Friend for 4 years, We both told personal information too soon and talked ALL the time because we were both having struggles with school/career...we got into a disagreement and things started to dwindle and I was content with that...until every blue moon (like once a month) this girl frantically calls me multiple times in a day needing something urgently. I felt bad and helped her out two times, but after the second time, she didn't contact me for weeks/months. The third and fourth time came around and I just said, sorry I can't...I wanted to call her out or call her out when it happens again but I don't know what to do.

Friend 2 (girl) - Childhood friend (20 years), I went to my parent's home and we had plans to go out to eat. I am driving hours to get parent's home...then driving additional time to meet with her. This time I called and left a voicemail like why don't you just come to my parent's place (20 minutes from her house)...Um...all of a sudden she sends texts saying she has to work, couldn't get out, I missed a call that had an excuse ridden voicemail. I called back and no answer and I haven't heard from her in almost 2 months. We have been growing apart so I wasn't so shocked but still... sigh. BTW she missed my birthday this year, didn't answer when I called her on her bday and called me like 3 months later saying she was going through some stuff...this has never happened before.

Friend 3 (guy) - Friend for 4 years, we talk every two weeks- 1 month, encourage each other with school, pray together occasionally and occassionally go out to eat with a group of friends (friend 1 and others)...one day he came at me the WRONG way in a text msg...I was so offended AND he had a girlfriend. I stated "I have to go, and that is disrespectful to your girlfriend." He states "I don't have a girlfriend." And I'm like "Well still, I have to go." And I get on facebook and he's broken up with his girl. A few days later my newsfeed states he's back in a relationship. I don't feel comfortable with just calling him and having things like they used to be now. He called and we talked and I acted like normal...he apologized several times and said he felt "convicted" and stated that it was very inappropriate. I said everything was cool and that I forgave him.

I have one more friend story...but its just

I'm just discouraged with friendships right now...all of these people are Christian. I really have evaluated myself to see if I've done something wrong and just evaluate how I talk to people in general. I just feel like praying for them from afar and just letting these people go. I would say besides these people I have about 4 close friends but they are far away. I have a host of family that I consider to be close friends so I'm just like maybe I should just let these people go. Friendships are hard work so maybe I'm just not putting in the effort but I don't want to feel used in a friendship.

Sorry some of this might be rambling...sleepy.

Any thoughts?

 

[Shimmie]

God is purging. Allow Him to complete the process. In the meantime, grow in the Lord for this is what He's leading you to...more growth in Him.

Often times, the ones to whom we've been closest are the most effective tools to lead us closer to God. He will also bring new friends into your life to enrich your growth.

You'll be fine, and so will your friends.

 

[DreamLife]

God is purging. Allow Him to complete the process. In the meantime, grow in the Lord for this is what He's leading you to...more growth in Him.

Often times, the ones to whom we've been closest are the most effective tools to lead us closer to God. He will also bring new friends into your life to enrich your growth.

You'll be fine, and so will your friends.

Thanks...I'm just going to pray and let things go. I have been exhausted trying to figure out what is going on with these people while they are probably sleeping having sweet dreams and not giving me a second thought. There are some big changes that will be happening to me in the next 6-7 months (possible move, new job, new financial situation) so I just need to stay prayed up for that and focus on being prepared to handle all of those new responsibilities/changes at once. The friends that are left, we are on the same page but are far...so I'll just continue to communicate with them and stay open to new friendships as well. I'm an introvert but I still do enjoy having several friends who I usually hang with individually to talk, shop, go out to eat or to events...and right now I don't really have that so its lonely. I have some family where I am too, so I'm thankful for that. God will provide.

 

[MSee]

God is purging. Allow Him to complete the process. In the meantime, grow in the Lord for this is what He's leading you to...more growth in Him.

Often times, the ones to whom we've been closest are the most effective tools to lead us closer to God. He will also bring new friends into your life to enrich your growth.

You'll be fine, and so will your friends.

I totally agree with the above. In a way you are fortunate to have just let them go. I experienced a simmilar situation but hung on for so long trying to make things work that most ended up in sort of a verbal knock down drag out spat.

I've learned that sometimes when God is getting ready to use you in a particular way that He may seperate you from anyone and anything that may hinder His work in you. The loneliness is hard and it may be coupled with you being terribly misunderstood by those who are still close to you. I'll suggest putting extra effort in scripture memorisation, prayer and praise and worship because you are going to need them in the near future. Although I must add I get a strange sense of excitment about the good you are going to reap at the end of it all.

 

[DreamLife]

I totally agree with the above. In a way you are fortunate to have just let them go. I experienced a simmilar situation but hung on for so long trying to make things work that most ended up in sort of a verbal knock down drag out spat.

I've learned that sometimes when God is getting ready to use you in a particular way that He may seperate you from anyone and anything that may hinder His work in you. The loneliness is hard and it may be coupled with you being terribly misunderstood by those who are still close to you. I'll suggest putting extra effort in scripture memorisation, prayer and praise and worship because you are going to need them in the near future. Although I must add I get a strange sense of excitment about the good you are going to reap at the end of it all.

Thank you MSee! I've walked this road of isolation before and its just draining. But I know its nothing but the enemy...everyone else (family, the friends I have left) are excited about my life changes but I actually have felt trapped thinking about this friend situation and my past. While there are so many things God has in store, my mind can't stop focusing on the past. I have insomnia so I just stay up night after night replaying situations in my head wondering what I did wrong and where I went wrong with friends/boyfriends/life choices...its time to get back in the Word...because regardless, God has worked out everything for my good. I just can't see it, and I may not understand why I had to go through what I did but in the end it will be for His glory.

I need to count my blessings. I have a HUGE family that are the best support I could ask for and my remaining friends have been golden. We will see...I must have prayed for patience two years ago because these past 2 years have just been erplexed...waiting for some big time changes.