Friends

Windsy

New Member
I'm looking for some Rules, Roles, Behavior and Do's & Don'ts of a Friend when you are in a Friend with Benefits Relationship. Let's discuss.
 
Make sure YOU're not the one who is going to catch feelings. IMO, he has to have a "dealbreaker" going on, one that cannot be overcome.

Make sure you can safely get away from his crazy a$$ when you do walk away. :giggle:

Worst case: You may have to call his mama if he starts stalking you or your family.
 
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Limit spend time outside of the "benefits" part of your relationship (that's how you catch feelings)

I will say this. I was in this type of relationship for 5 years. I really thought I was cool and that I wouldn't have any feelings for him like that. I mean we were both seeing other people and all. We only saw each other for hook-up purposes. But I trusted him implicitly! He was my first in a lot of things... But the day he told me he was getting married, I cried like a baby. I had no idea that I actually had feelings for him...so be careful!!!! We probably stayed together too long, so I'd say another thing is to consider putting some sort of ending deadline on it. For me, 5 years was longer than any other relationship I had....
 
Thanks ladies. I will say this, I don't let friends lasts for too long I usually get boared.

I think one rule for me would be don't call him; let him call you.
 
1. Other than time and place don't talk about anything else.
2. No social calls, no going for a bit to eat.
3. No "relations" longer than an hour, no snuggle time.
 
Realize the situation for what it is. Don't play gf. Don't play therapist. Date other people. I go to social events but I have little or no contact electronically. Be care though, these are usually the people who you end up falling for the hardest. Funny thing is you don't realize it until he get serious with someone eles or you guys stop seeing each other.
 
DON'T DO IT most women can not deal with this type of relationship without suffering major self esteem blows.

If you must make sure you maintain some space and so should he.

#1. No sleepovers. Overnight cuddling is great but it can confuse things. No matter how late or even if daylight is breaking leave. This is not your man man and he should'nt get to have all of you.

#2. No excessive calling. He calls you, you call him back. You call him, he calls you back. No repeaters..don't be desperate..don't chase..don't act like he does'nt know what you want when you call..that should be understood.

#3.Don't meet each others family, friends may understand, but family is another. You don't want to be out on a real date and see his cousins or aunts and they confront you or later confront him and he or you have to explain:blush:

#4. Don't borrow money or recieve money or any elaborate gifts because that can really complicate things.

#5. Don't loan money either he is NOT YOUR MAN, you may feel mutual respect but money makes people act funny. If you don't believe me,spend a afternoon watching court TV and count how many women loan men money and when the judge ask "Are you two in a relationship" She says "yes" and the guy is only too quick to say "It was just Sex..your honor". Don't loan, or give any money.

#6. No double dipping..A friend's with benefits relationship should only be with people who are both single and looking. If you have a boyfriend or meet somebody great, let your buddy know and end it. If he has a girl and you just want him physically STEP OFF that's nasty and people could get hurt or something worse. Let him know while he is dating other women please protect, and inspect. Because you don't want nothing but Love:yep:
 
And if you do get in this situation, make sure it's someone you would never consider marrying.

ouch!!!!!!!

I'm struggling because this guy has everything on my list. We are both single and looking but enjoy each other company while looking. We both feel that we don't want a booty call but friends with benefits would work because we can connect other than sex. Now I'm even more confused!!!! :wallbash:
 
ouch!!!!!!!

I'm struggling because this guy has everything on my list. We are both single and looking but enjoy each other company while looking. We both feel that we don't want a booty call but friends with benefits would work because we can connect other than sex. Now I'm even more confused!!!! :wallbash:

Then why wouldn't you just want to give dating a try?
 
Then why wouldn't you just want to give dating a try?


When? He works 7 days a week, goes to sleep at 9pm at nights. When I ask him why does he work so much, he says, he has to eat. I'm really leaning to just walking away completely.
 
When? He works 7 days a week, goes to sleep at 9pm at nights. When I ask him why does he work so much, he says, he has to eat. I'm really leaning to just walking away completely.

My fwb situations are always with cute, not so smart, bobble,head type guys who I soley keep around because I'm bored or he's a guaranteed orgasm. Funny thing is, they usually end up falling for me.

I would walk away if he was someone who I actually wanted to be with but couldn't. In that type of situation, you only end up getting hurt. I did this several years ago and it took years to get him off my mind after it was all over.
 
*IMO* fwb and booty calls are both the same. Fwb is just a nicer way of saying it. Many of my male friends feel this way also...
 
My fwb situations are always with cute, not so smart, bobble,head type guys who I soley keep around because I'm bored or he's a guaranteed orgasm. Funny thing is, they usually end up falling for me.

I would walk away if he was someone who I actually wanted to be with but couldn't. In that type of situation, you only end up getting hurt. I did this several years ago and it took years to get him off my mind after it was all over.

Thanks I agree 100% also with the FWB being the same as booty call. I actually emailed him and I'm going to walk away and just KIM.

Thanks for the input ladies.
 
You have to be very careful about this one. My cousin loved this guy, they were FWB and she would proudly proclaim the friend role. He let her no upfront that is all it would be and She got caught up.

Dude got a girl, during her and married her. Years later they ran into each other and exchanged numbers. It was supposed to be platonic and old friends shooting the breeze. She invited him to her party and she got his home address and mailed the pictures to the WIFE!

I told her she was bogus and he was dumb as hell to be there! Apparently years aren't enough time to heal over someone you really love!

Strangely, enough women do this thing all the time and I don't get it. That's too much energy to waste!
 
ouch!!!!!!!

I'm struggling because this guy has everything on my list. We are both single and looking but enjoy each other company while looking. We both feel that we don't want a booty call but friends with benefits would work because we can connect other than sex. Now I'm even more confused!!!! :wallbash:

Don't do it girl! You already think he can be a potential and you'll eventually fall for him. I tried that once and I got burned big time. Never again!
 
DON'T DO IT most women can not deal with this type of relationship without suffering major self esteem blows.

If you must make sure you maintain some space and so should he.

#1. No sleepovers. Overnight cuddling is great but it can confuse things. No matter how late or even if daylight is breaking leave. This is not your man man and he should'nt get to have all of you.

#2. No excessive calling. He calls you, you call him back. You call him, he calls you back. No repeaters..don't be desperate..don't chase..don't act like he does'nt know what you want when you call..that should be understood.

#3.Don't meet each others family, friends may understand, but family is another. You don't want to be out on a real date and see his cousins or aunts and they confront you or later confront him and he or you have to explain:blush:

#4. Don't borrow money or recieve money or any elaborate gifts because that can really complicate things.

#5. Don't loan money either he is NOT YOUR MAN, you may feel mutual respect but money makes people act funny. If you don't believe me,spend a afternoon watching court TV and count how many women loan men money and when the judge ask "Are you two in a relationship" She says "yes" and the guy is only too quick to say "It was just Sex..your honor". Don't loan, or give any money.

#6. No double dipping..A friend's with benefits relationship should only be with people who are both single and looking. If you have a boyfriend or meet somebody great, let your buddy know and end it. If he has a girl and you just want him physically STEP OFF that's nasty and people could get hurt or something worse. Let him know while he is dating other women please protect, and inspect. Because you don't want nothing but Love:yep:


WOW I like this:yep: So, True.
 
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