Former Naturals.....What Made You Go Back

[TigerLily]

What about getting a texturizer instead??

I've thought about it. The only drawback is that I don't have any type or hint of curl pattern, lol. So, I don't think that it would look right on me.

 

[mkstar826]

We'll see length girls, Dont worry!!! I think my hair is growing slow sometimes, too, but I'm gonna hang in there. I know that it's really NOT growing slow b/c pictures tell the difference. Would you rather have a pressing disaster like I did or just let it grow healthy and full!! Think about it!

i agree. i know that my hair has it's times where it will grow fast and then it will grow slow and i accept that. (i'm not really trying to have super long hair anyway so it doesn't bother me) my goal is healthy, natural hair and as long as i have that i'm fine. depending on your texture, shrinkage factor, and genes, your hair may never get to be as long as you want it. even with a relaxer it might not. sometimes you just have to accept your hair as it is and not worry about it.

also maybe your hair is just not retaining the length. have you tried protective styling? maybe get some braids or something and really think about it so you don't do something you'll regret.

 

[TigerLily]

I'm already doing the protective styling. I've had braids before and now I'm doing wigs and weaves. *sigh* If I'm not retaining length, wouldn't it be breaking? It's not breaking, so where the heck is it going?

When I had a relaxer, my hair grew to mid back, so I do know that it can get that long...

It'd be nice to have my regular growth rate back. If I could have that, I'd be cool. I guess what I'm trying to say is, 'why did it slow down'? It's NEVER done this in the past. I've never had 'resting phases'. My hair has always grown at a steady rate and I confused at the dropoff...That's what's REALLY frustrating!

Tryin' ta hold out.....singing, *Laaaawwd, help meee to hooold out....*

 

[MJ]

I had enough. When I went natural (shaved my head and was natural for 3+ years), I planned on never relaxing again. But I just couldn't deal with it anymore and was experiencing tons of breakage. I wanted to at least be able to pull my hair into a decent ponytail. I had the length but my natural hair was so thick and shrank so much (and my head is so big ) I seriously and honestly couldn't pull my 7" length into a pontytail. I'm not good at styling my hair and money was an issue and I couldn't afford regular braids and cornrows (I wish I'd know about the crownandglory video then). I spent my entire fall semester (senior year in college) looking bummed out with my hair consistently tied up in a green cotton doo-rag. That was the last straw. I decided to relaxed my hair again and reasoned that if it didn't work out, i'd shaved my head five months later in August. Well it's almost a year (March) since I re-relaxed and I don't regret it. I've was virgin natural for most of my life, I've only had relaxed hair for total of 3-3.5 years (I'm 23.5).

 

[lsubabiedee]

I'm pretty sure your hair is growing, because that is what it does, and unless there is something not right with your body (hormones, stress, diet, exercise), it's growing at its normal rate. Think of something that you have changed in your routine.

Try not to get styles that require a lot of upkeep and if you use synthetic hair, make sure your hair is very moisturized! Maybe stop straightening ur hair for a while...and then see how much it grows.


Take the focus off of your hair for a while, b/c a watched pot never boils.

 

[TigerLily]

If it's growing...then how come I can't see it? I know about shrinkage and such. When I stretch/press it, it's at the same length. Where is it going if it's not breaking? And length not showing even when it's pressed???? I mean, did it evaporate? LOL!!!

I hear what ya'll are saying and really, I'm not trying to be difficult. I'm tellin' ya'll...IT AIN'T MOVIN'!!!! I've pressed, measured, stretched.....same ol' thing? I mean for real...Where is it????

My routine hasn't changed. I"ve only straigthened it twice and it wasn't back to back; once last year, once this year. As I've stated before, I'm already doing the protective styling thing. Maybe it is hormonal, 'cause I can't think of anything else. Heck, I don't know....

Anybody wanna trade hairs, lol? Mine is nice and thick. It just won't grow. That's all...WAAA WAAA WAAA!!!

 

[LegallySpeaking]

I kinda feel the same way. It seems like my hair doesn't like being natural either and I often wonder if I would have experienced less breakage if I had relaxed and followed the LHCF principles for relaxed hair.

 

[TigerLily]

I kinda feel the same way. It seems like my hair doesn't like being natural either and I often wonder if I would have experienced less breakage if I had relaxed and followed the LHCF principles for relaxed hair.

For real???????? Or are you being facetious....?

 

[RushGirl]

I've thought about it. The only drawback is that I don't have any type or hint of curl pattern, lol. So, I don't think that it would look right on me.

Oh.. I so sorry!! Well ultimately, you have to do what's best for you..

 

[Ennyaa]

Everytime I blow it out, it gets bigger.

I hope you make a decision that is right for you.

Yeah, I'm coming to accept that bigger = longer. For me the bigger my fro gets the happier I am.

 

[whosthatgurl]

peer preassure actually

 

[Ennyaa]

You know what's funny? Peer pressure only makes me angry and want to grow my fro even bigger. Latest comments:

"When are you going to do something with that hair?"
and
"I'll be glad when you get out of this phase."

Yeah... we'll see.

 

[Brownie]

to the relaxer? I'm curious to know what your reasons are 'cause I'm thinking about it....hard.....

I can't speak for anyone else, but I will NOT be going back. Even if my hair never grows another inch, I'll be happy AS IS without having to worry about touch ups and having more than one texture. I had enough of that drama for a lifetime.

As for hair growth---if you're not getting breakage with your natural hair, it's probably not a hair issue. A relaxer is not going to get your hair to grow again. There's nothing in a relaxer that can grow hair. If you're not having breakage, and your hair isn't growing, there has to be other reasons. Also, most people get growth spurts during the summer (hot months), so maybe it's only a matter of time for your hair to start taking off again. I hope you find the root of your problem. If I were in your shoes, I'd be very concerned too, but I'd say at least wait it out, until the hot months---your hair might surprise you.

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

Er have you tried Surge?

I would say be patient and tough it out for a little bit! Moisturize those ends at night and all that good stuff!

 

[eboniwoman]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I will NOT be going back. Even if my hair never grows another inch, I'll be happy AS IS without having to worry about touch ups and having more than one texture. I had enough of that drama for a lifetime.

As for hair growth---if you're not getting breakage with your natural hair, it's probably not a hair issue. A relaxer is not going to get your hair to grow again. There's nothing in a relaxer that can grow hair. If you're not having breakage, and your hair isn't growing, there has to be other reasons. Also, most people get growth spurts during the summer (hot months), so maybe it's only a matter of time for your hair to start taking off again. I hope you find the root of your problem. If I were in your shoes, I'd be very concerned too, but I'd say at least wait it out, until the hot months---your hair might surprise you.

I totally agree with you!

 

[TigerLily]

I know a relaxer won't make my hair grow, lol. I never said that. All I'm saying is wht I see: that it grew at it's regular rate with one and without one it's not growing at it's regular rate, it at all. That's all I'm saying.

I'm going to wait. I've never had growth spurts or resting phases before. From what I've read, the resting phase only lasts a few weeks, not a few months. so I"m still not agreeing that it's 'resting'. Plus, all of your hair doesn't 'rest' at the same time. I'll give it until May. If my hair is still stifled, then it'll be time for some action to be taken.

Yah, I've tried Surge. What a great detangler! LOL!!

 

[Poohbear]

I know a relaxer won't make my hair grow, lol. I never said that. All I'm saying is wht I see: that it grew at it's regular rate with one and without one it's not growing at it's regular rate, it at all. That's all I'm saying.

I'm going to wait. I've never had growth spurts or resting phases before. From what I've read, the resting phase only lasts a few weeks, not a few months. so I"m still not agreeing that it's 'resting'. Plus, all of your hair doesn't 'rest' at the same time. I'll give it until May. If my hair is still stifled, then it'll be time for some action to be taken.

Yah, I've tried Surge. What a great detangler! LOL!!

TL, let's say May comes and your hair is still stifled and you decide to get a relaxer and after a few months, your hair does the same thing and appears to be the same length to you???
Or are you just tired of your natural hair and want straight hair???
I seen where you said that you know about shrinkage and you check the length and its always the same length and your hair isn't growing. Are you eating right? If you think that's the problem, maybe see someone like a nutritionist who can get you on a healthy eating plan to help your hair grow. Check out those foods on the Hair Lady's website. HTH!

 

[options]

I experienced a ton of knots and breakage when natural. Being texturized, I am seeing so much more length retention. And my hair is still thick and "big," but has more curl definition and can hold a straight style if I so choose to flat iron it.

 

[RushGirl]

TL, let's say May comes and your hair is still stifled and you decide to get a relaxer and after a few months, your hair does the same thing and appears to be the same length to you???
Or are you just tired of your natural hair and want straight hair???
I seen where you said that you know about shrinkage and you check the length and its always the same length and your hair isn't growing. Are you eating right? If you think that's the problem, maybe see someone like a nutritionist who can get you on a healthy eating plan to help your hair grow. Check out those foods on the Hair Lady's website. HTH!

Who is the Hair Lady?

 

[ichephren]

www.growafrohairlong.com to see the hair lady. I concur that it must be something internal. Are you more stressed than usual? Did you stop doing something that you used to do? Like exercise?

 

[dannie]

Maybe your scalp is in shock?

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

I just went back to a relaxer last week (I haven't made any big announcements, I was planning on taking pics first).

Here are my reasons:
1. I live by doing stuff on a whim and I saw my sister who has been natural her entire life find a relaxer that made her hair look pretty nice. It was swingly, shiny, just lovely....that same night, I bought the relaxer and put it in my head, lol.

2. Now I did have a little thought process while I was driving to the BSS of why I wanted to relax. one of the reasons was that I like curly hair and straight hair pretty equally but with my hair pressed I can't wear my hair straight for like 6 months out of the year because of rain or humidity....And my strands get dry after pressing so I usually can't press in the winter either because they snap.

3. My third reason is because although my hair is nice, I can't get the look I desire oftentimes because I have like 4 different textures on my head. When I was permed my hair grew in loose enough that the difference in textures wasn't really noticeable. But when you have natural hair and have a baby fro in the front and loose waves in the back....well, you really can't hide that

4. My hair grew more slowly as a natural as well! I thought I was the only one and for the life of me I can't understand the logic. I've been permed for a week and already feel the start of new growth. Yet the last freaking 4 months as a natural I didn't even gain a half an inch.

I'm actually shockingly happy with my decision. My hair looks good and feels great. I've never had this much success with a relaxer.

 

[Chinagem]

I've thought about it. The only drawback is that I don't have any type or hint of curl pattern, lol. So, I don't think that it would look right on me.

Have you ever thought about doing a strand test on an inconspicuous spot of your head? You never know how a texturizer might look. If the results are undesireable then nobody would notice but if you like the results, you'd have a better idea of what to expect if you got a texturizer.

 

[TigerLily]

THanks Ladies for your advice/experiences!!!

I've wanted to do just that, Chinagem. I don't know what stopped me!!!!

ReaLuvs, I'm glad someone can relate to what I'm experiencing/feeling!!!!!

I'm gonna have to evaluate, let's see:

I never did exercise, lol
I'm taking vitamins
I eat a lot of fruit and veggies
I drink 48-64oz. a day - I've been thinking that I need to drink more water, though. I get dry so quick! I'm thinking that maybe I need to drink a gallon a day. Is that crazy?

 

[LaNecia]

I experienced a ton of knots and breakage when natural. Being texturized, I am seeing so much more length retention. And my hair is still thick and "big," but has more curl definition and can hold a straight style if I so choose to flat iron it.

This is a great thread, I've had the opportunity to look at myself and really decipher what I want to do w/my hair. I have found in the last three weeks or so that I am really struggling with my hair as far as combability and styling (because I can't comb!). I too have had lots of knots and breakage where the ends of the hair seem to just become conjoined in a matter of minutes, it's the weirdest thing.

For me, I will never relax again beyond 75% straight but 100% natural isn't going to work with me either. I did the big chop a few weeks ago and cut about 4/5 inches of hair off so I feel kinda dumb now but it was really damaged and BONE straight so the textures would have been a problem eventually again. Now I can start with a fresh slate of healthy hair.

At least this way, I have found out about the different textures on my head, where they are and how they respond to products so when texturizing and styling, I can take these factors into consideration. Some may say that three weeks is not long enough to learn all about my hair, perhaps this is true...perhaps not.

Sorry!! Didn't mean to high jack the thread but that's why I've decided to go back to relaxing/texturizing.

 

[Wildchild453]

I've been having a few issues with my hair, it's been unbelievably dry..but I could never relax my hair again. I've been thinking my hair is just not growing but it can also be that it is growing and it is not noticable.

Cause to be honest I can't tell new growth on my head. It's like looking for the proverbial needle in a hay stack. What confuses me is that you say there hasn't been a breakage but your hair isn't growing how is that possible?

Hair doesn't usually stop growing. Are you losing hair anywhere? Is is possible that the strands you think are sheddding can possibly be breakage? But then again in the end you have to do what's good for you, so power to you

 

[DMarie]

Hi Tigerlily,

I'm sorry to hear that your not happy with your hair. I decided to go natural in May 03 and at that point I had about 4 inches of natual hair. I stayed natural till September 04. I decided to relax again because for me, my natural hair was harder to style. I felt like I was spending too much time trying to style it and most of the time I felt like it didn't look like I had spent the amount of time on it that I actually did. I wore cornrolls which I thought didn't make me look my age or as pretty as curls. I wore twists which I loved and now miss but the twist took too much time to complete and when I went to take them out they took even longer and often caused tangles since I would rinse them out after exercising. Just combing my hair gave me a headache. I have extremely thick hair and it is dense. And yes, I did part and comb in small sections. I found myself constantly feeling the need to trim my hair because I often got knots at the ends of individual strands of hair. Puffs were cute but because my hair was soo thick and dense when I went to pull it back my edges would hurt from the tension. In the beginning, I wore extensions till my natural hair grew long enough to do in the various natural styles mentioned above but eventually they get old. My natural hair was nice. When it was at it's best condition my curls were soft and I had tons of baby hair around my edges but it wasn't perfect. As I realized that no hair choice is. There are things that one could like about both, relaxed and natural. I really miss my curls (while wet, after drying they didn't look soo good cause they would shrivel up) but I am happy to be able to comb my hair without getting a headache or feel knots on the ends and look like I actually did my hair and look my age (well, maybe not. Although I am almost 29 people still ask if I'm at least 21 after I order drinks. But that's good. Who wants to look old?)

I hope you figure out what you want to do with your hair. But be patient, if you've only been natural for less than a year I would wait a little longer to make sure I wasn't rushing any decisions. Wait till your natural hair gets longer, you may like it more. If it is length that's causing you to feel this way, I think it will come with time. Length has nothing to do with texture. I for one didn't have a problem with growth while I was natural. In fact, after I relaxed and had tons of shedding I realized just how much hair I kept on my head while natural. I honestly rarely ever lost a strand of hair while natural. I would comb my hair and not see a strand of hair in the comb. I never got hairs on my shirt and barely any hair came out while washing. I do miss the health of my hair now that I've relaxed but like I said, nothing is perfect. The natural health and curls I would want back but not the other drama.

Good luck!!

 

[Enchantmt]

I'm on the fence as far as transitioning also. I really want to hold out though because I like my natural texture. My last relaxer was 06/04 and its to the point that I want to just either relax or cut off my relaxed ends. Its getting more difficult to style. Its not really too long because I had cut it every month for the first 3 months, but recently I had some breakage from not taking the time to detangle the two textures and I have a lot of damaged ends now. I have about 10 inches at the longest spot, maybe 4 inches of new growth. I remember Hairlove saying it would be best to have enough natural hair to pull into a ponytail if you want to be able to have styling options but its getting harder and harder to wait. I was able to straighten my hair decently until about 2 months ago, but now my new growth isnt having it. Five minutes after I flat iron my roots are puffy. I realize that as I transition what works for me will also transition but my creativity has all dried up. I also sorta miss the reaction to my relaxed hair since it was so silky, bouncy and shiny. I realize that's a pride thing and I shouldnt base my decision on other folx reactions but its taking a huge mental adjustment not to give in to that pressure. Also since I've gained weight I didnt want to cut it off because I dont like how I look with short hair, but since all I've been doing is pulling it back into a pony tail I'm getting the same effect anyway so I guess it doesn't matter. I think I will look into seeing if I can find a natural salon before I decide to relax but if I decide to cut it I will wait until after Easter so I dont have to hear my sister talk mess when she comes home for the holiday. I know my family will trip when/if I cut it though. My mom is the Jedi Master of guilt trips.

 

[blkbeauty]

Wow, Legally! After viewing your album I think I might just give my natural some time. Perhaps it is the shrinkage.

 

[LegallySpeaking]

For real???????? Or are you being facetious....?

I'm for real. My natural hair will not stop breaking. It didn't break when I was relaxed.

I experienced a ton of knots and breakage when natural. Being texturized, I am seeing so much more length retention. And my hair is still thick and "big," but has more curl definition and can hold a straight style if I so choose to flat iron it.

Options, why do you think you experienced breakage while natural?