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Former Naturals.....What Made You Go Back
- Thread starter TigerLily
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TigerLily
New Member
Oh yeah, gotsta have products!!! 
Seriously, I'm starting to think that being natural isn't for me. When my hair was relaxed, it grew fairly quickly. Now that I"m natural it grows sooooo s-l-o-w!!!!!!!! I went natural in May '04. I had a growth spurt in June and July, and then my hair slowed down to a tortoise's pace!!! I'm doing all I know to do and I kid you not, I dyed my hair in Nov. and from then till now, it's grown 1/2 of an inch!!! In some places, a 1/4!!!! My hair hasn't ever gone through 'resting phases', so I don't know what the problem is. I know this sounds crazy, I know, but it's like my hair does not like being natural, even though I want it to be!!!
When I was transitioning, my hair was thick and resting on my shoulders. I look back and think, 'If I'd kept my hair coupled with the knowledge that I have now, my hair would be at brastrap!!!' ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! 
This is how my hair looked before I whacked the relaxed ends:
I'm just frustrated with this crap and I don't know what to do anymore! I mean, I know hair isn't going to grow from my ears to my butt overnight. However, I don't think it's totally unrealistic to not expect my hair to grow as it did before, either. HELP!!!
Seriously, I'm starting to think that being natural isn't for me. When my hair was relaxed, it grew fairly quickly. Now that I"m natural it grows sooooo s-l-o-w!!!!!!!! I went natural in May '04. I had a growth spurt in June and July, and then my hair slowed down to a tortoise's pace!!! I'm doing all I know to do and I kid you not, I dyed my hair in Nov. and from then till now, it's grown 1/2 of an inch!!! In some places, a 1/4!!!! My hair hasn't ever gone through 'resting phases', so I don't know what the problem is. I know this sounds crazy, I know, but it's like my hair does not like being natural, even though I want it to be!!!
When I was transitioning, my hair was thick and resting on my shoulders. I look back and think, 'If I'd kept my hair coupled with the knowledge that I have now, my hair would be at brastrap!!!'
ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! This is how my hair looked before I whacked the relaxed ends:
I'm just frustrated with this crap and I don't know what to do anymore! I mean, I know hair isn't going to grow from my ears to my butt overnight. However, I don't think it's totally unrealistic to not expect my hair to grow as it did before, either. HELP!!!
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UmSumayyah
Well-Known Member
I went back because a classmate of mine was a stylist and I said "sure, why not get my hair done?"
Before that I had been natural for 3 years, had been texturized before that only about 3 years, and natural my entire life before that. I wasn't really hair conscious so it was purely on a whim for me.
What keeps me relaxed now is 1)relaxed hair shows length more easily and 2)I don't want to start over.
Before that I had been natural for 3 years, had been texturized before that only about 3 years, and natural my entire life before that. I wasn't really hair conscious so it was purely on a whim for me.
What keeps me relaxed now is 1)relaxed hair shows length more easily and 2)I don't want to start over.
well u haven't been natural a year yet...dont quit now!! come on...stay in the game...have u tried growth encouraging products and how do you measure ur hair...straightened or curled up?? and maybe its somethings ur using or methods that maybe preventing growth like u want it
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
Girl, I know! I've been there! I'm JUST NOW feeling comfortable with my hair, and not thinking that everybody's staring at me. I was feeling style challenged because my hair is fine, so twists/braids make my hair look thin and spacy. But I recently discovered scarves, which I'm rocking at least through the spring.
When I thought about going back to a relaxer, I would think how much more work it is to have relaxed hair IMO. Because it's supposed to be straight. With natural hair, it's really anything goes!
And as far as the growth thing goes, your hair IS growing the same rate is was growing before. We know that a relaxer doesn't have anything in it to affect your growth rate. The thing is, you were visually seeing the length every time you got a touch up. I thought my hair wasn't growing for a long time because it doesn't APPEAR to be, but it is. Everytime I blow it out, it gets bigger.
I hope you make a decision that is right for you.
When I thought about going back to a relaxer, I would think how much more work it is to have relaxed hair IMO. Because it's supposed to be straight. With natural hair, it's really anything goes!
And as far as the growth thing goes, your hair IS growing the same rate is was growing before. We know that a relaxer doesn't have anything in it to affect your growth rate. The thing is, you were visually seeing the length every time you got a touch up. I thought my hair wasn't growing for a long time because it doesn't APPEAR to be, but it is. Everytime I blow it out, it gets bigger.
I hope you make a decision that is right for you.
nurseN98
Ayiti cherie
If your growth has slowed down, there may be other reasons (exercise, diet, not taking supplements) But like someone says, relaxed hair shows lenghth much easier. I didn't think my hair had grown that much because I have over 50% shrinkage. But when I flat ironed my hair, I was shocked how much it had grown. I'm still transitioning but I know I'll never go back to relaxing, especially since I've figured out how to straighten my hair without causing damage.
Maybe you can braid it like CharUK said and give it a little break and take your mind off of it. Think of your reasons for going natural in the first place and see if you are still in that frame of mind. Then you can make your decision and be comfortable with it.
Maybe you can braid it like CharUK said and give it a little break and take your mind off of it. Think of your reasons for going natural in the first place and see if you are still in that frame of mind. Then you can make your decision and be comfortable with it.
blkbeauty
Well-Known Member
Hey Tiger,
I was just crying to Naptrl about my hair. When I first started my transition my hair was growing like weed and when I did my BC I couldn't believe how fast my hair was growing, becasue it would alsways break with relaxing. Well now my hair seems like it is at a complete stop. It is simply not growing, not even a centimeter. LOL
I don't want to got back to a full relaxer because of the damage that I've had throughout the years, but I am thinking about a texturizer.
I was just crying to Naptrl about my hair. When I first started my transition my hair was growing like weed and when I did my BC I couldn't believe how fast my hair was growing, becasue it would alsways break with relaxing. Well now my hair seems like it is at a complete stop. It is simply not growing, not even a centimeter. LOL
I don't want to got back to a full relaxer because of the damage that I've had throughout the years, but I am thinking about a texturizer.
UmSumayyah
Well-Known Member
if you've been natural less than a year, my rec is to stick with it, really give it a real chance. 
blkbeauty
Well-Known Member
Hey Nurse,
I felt the same way when I was transitioning and even now, I even love absolutely LOVE my texture. The problem is do I want to keep pressing my hair to see the length and possibly damage my hair or do I want to change to a texture that I hate by perming just so I can see the length. Or do I simply stay with a texture that I absolutley love without seeing the length.
I felt the same way when I was transitioning and even now, I even love absolutely LOVE my texture. The problem is do I want to keep pressing my hair to see the length and possibly damage my hair or do I want to change to a texture that I hate by perming just so I can see the length. Or do I simply stay with a texture that I absolutley love without seeing the length.
naptrl
Dr. Naptrl :)
We'll see length girls, Dont worry!!! I think my hair is growing slow sometimes, too, but I'm gonna hang in there. I know that it's really NOT growing slow b/c pictures tell the difference. Would you rather have a pressing disaster like I did or just let it grow healthy and full!! Think about it!
PretteePlease
#fakeworkouts
i know my answer is comming late but i went back to the relaxer because it is what i knew but this second time around i am going at it full steam searching for information on natural haircare and styles and i am really digging the versatility dont give in without giving it all you have. stay encouraged
I couldn't deal with the volume, the thickness. Yeah I can do two strand twists, cornrows, flat twists, bantu knots (myself) but I realized those things are not my main style. I like them once in a while but daily it doesn't suit me. Besides, except for the two strand twists, i can do those other things on my relaxed hair. It was more of a life style choice for me---My hair didnt fit with my life or my style!!!
i also changed when I realized that being natural wasnt the only way to acheive long hair (from this site I learned that!) The only reason why my hair grew long while I was natural was because I wasn't putting a lot of heat on it (in the beginning!).
I realized that I am happiest when I can pull a comb through my hair and not get a cramp in my arm from all the resistance!!!
i also changed when I realized that being natural wasnt the only way to acheive long hair (from this site I learned that!) The only reason why my hair grew long while I was natural was because I wasn't putting a lot of heat on it (in the beginning!).
I realized that I am happiest when I can pull a comb through my hair and not get a cramp in my arm from all the resistance!!!
Phoenix
Well-Known Member
I was natural for about 1 1/2 years before returning to relaxers. I loved my natural hair while I had a TWA, but once it started to get longer, it was difficult to manage. I tried 2 strand twists but my hair is so thick that even large ones took me forever to do. Plus, I have this one patch of fine, wavy hair right in the front of my head that wouldn't hold twists for anything. I would have kept it in a TWA, but I was getting married and wanted to have enough hair to do an updo for the wedding. Now that the wedding is over, I'm transitioning with braids and trying to decide whether I want to be natural or relaxed.
SVT
Well-Known Member
I'm going to echo what others have said and encourage you to stick with it for at least a year and try out some new styles.
I'm not a natural hairstyle maven so my solution to hair boredom or not seeing any growth is to flatiron my hair every few months. That might not be enough change-up or be too damaging for others but I'm satisfied with it.
I know I'll never get another chemical service because right now my hair is the healthiest it has ever been. My growth rate seems slow to me but it's been steady and I've been able to retain much of the length.
Patience, TigerLily.
I'm not a natural hairstyle maven so my solution to hair boredom or not seeing any growth is to flatiron my hair every few months. That might not be enough change-up or be too damaging for others but I'm satisfied with it.
I know I'll never get another chemical service because right now my hair is the healthiest it has ever been. My growth rate seems slow to me but it's been steady and I've been able to retain much of the length.
Patience, TigerLily.
Champagne_Wishes
A broke graduate
Stick it out Tiger. You haven't been natural long so I would wait 2 years before making the leap.
brownsugarbabe
New Member
I absolutely LOVED the way my natural hair looked, but after five years it was just tooooo much for me to deal with. I was tired. My hair is really, really, really thick and it was down my back. I usually CO washed it in the morning and stuggled to get all that hair in a twisty to wear up in a big afro puff on the top of my head. That was my lazy do. There were many other styles, but I felt like I ran out of options and that I had to plan my hair at least a day in advance in order for it to look like anything.
But, now I'm considering going back. There is nothing like a beautiful head of natural black hair. Stick to your guns girl. Don't give up quite yet.
When I was transitioning my style of choice was time consuming but it worked and gave me some nice arm muscles in the process.
Every night I braided my hair. Nothing neat, just a bunch of braids all over, like 24 or so. I would saturate each section to be braided with a conditioning spray....like Pantene and then braid. In the morning I took all the braids down and began this elaborate pinning process. When I was all done I had this neat little short hair look going, even though my hair was done my back. People used to stop me all the time and compliment my hair or ask how I got it that way. I hope that was clear. I wish I had pics to share.
But, now I'm considering going back. There is nothing like a beautiful head of natural black hair. Stick to your guns girl. Don't give up quite yet.
When I was transitioning my style of choice was time consuming but it worked and gave me some nice arm muscles in the process.
Every night I braided my hair. Nothing neat, just a bunch of braids all over, like 24 or so. I would saturate each section to be braided with a conditioning spray....like Pantene and then braid. In the morning I took all the braids down and began this elaborate pinning process. When I was all done I had this neat little short hair look going, even though my hair was done my back. People used to stop me all the time and compliment my hair or ask how I got it that way. I hope that was clear. I wish I had pics to share.
itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
-I was starting my first professional job and I knew I didn't have the money yet to keep up with mid-length hair at the salon and I couldn't produce as many neat styles on my own
-I was aiming for a texturized wash-n-go look/lifestyle (a growing 4b twa just didn't do that for me anymore)
-I had always planned to go back to a relaxer...just w/ a healthier foundation of hair and growth and w/o bone straight hair.
eta (after reading a few posts): the key to maintaining the natural is keeping it neat. We can't all do an afro puff and not all self-styled twists look professional. So, if you have the money, go to some natural stylists and have them work w/ your hair and keep it neat and styled. In fact, the same really applies to all hair, natural or relaxed: The hair doesn't have to be perfect, but it does need to look done {{{snap...snap}}}}
-I was aiming for a texturized wash-n-go look/lifestyle (a growing 4b twa just didn't do that for me anymore)
-I had always planned to go back to a relaxer...just w/ a healthier foundation of hair and growth and w/o bone straight hair.
eta (after reading a few posts): the key to maintaining the natural is keeping it neat. We can't all do an afro puff and not all self-styled twists look professional. So, if you have the money, go to some natural stylists and have them work w/ your hair and keep it neat and styled. In fact, the same really applies to all hair, natural or relaxed: The hair doesn't have to be perfect, but it does need to look done {{{snap...snap}}}}
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buffalosoldier
New Member
Go get it pressed and I'm sure that you will be pleasantly surprised Then make your decision. Ultimately do what u want. It's not a crime to use chemicals. I'm on a one year break from chems and I will go back to them in August. My hair is defintely healthier without them but its the thickness that drives me mad and its also why I didnt stay natural before.
Good luck with your decision
Then make your decision. Ultimately do what u want. It's not a crime to use chemicals. I'm on a one year break from chems and I will go back to them in August. My hair is defintely healthier without them but its the thickness that drives me mad and its also why I didnt stay natural before. Good luck with your decision
SandySea
New Member
I guess I was a pseudo-natural because I did the press n' curl thing. I went back to relaxing because I was tired of the battle to maintain straight hair with heat in humid Miami. I miss my natural hair and I think about going back all the time. Even though I pressed my hair, at least it wasn't a long term committment. Also, having fine hair, my head of hair seemed so much thicker and less limp back then.
getmoore
Active Member
The first time I transitioned I think I went seven months without a relaxer and then I caved! I could'nt handle the two different textures and it never occured to me to just cut off the relaxed ends! (DUH) The second time I stuck with it and really took my time. At first it seemed like my hair wasn'nt growing fast either but it turned out that my hair did'nt grow very fast EVER! I only get about four inches per year! The relaxed hair just showed legnth ALL OF THE TIME which made me think that my hair grew faster! I ended up growing a beautiful natural head of hair ,at least until I got the idea to dye my hair and lost half of it! Thats what made me swear off of chemicals FOREVER!!.Believe me you will have a beautiful natural healthy head of hair in no time. But whatever you decide your hair will grow just the same.
SilkyandSmooth
New Member
classimami713 said:
Exactly.
Valerie
Well-Known Member
Tiger Lily, I think you need to give yourself some time. Also, your hair is probably growing very fast, but because of the curl pattern it looks like it is growing very slow. When you stretch out your hair, then you see how much and how long, it really is. Hang in there!.
TigerLily
New Member
Thanks for you replies, ladies!
Yes, I know that relaxed hair shows length. I'm telling ya'll IT AIN'T GROWIN' lol!!! Yes, I have pressed it before, twice as a matter of fact and it is indeed the SAME stinking length as it was when it stopped growing in June/July. I've put it in braids before and now I'm wearing wigs/weaves. I don't comb my hair, except when it's wet with conditioner. Other than that, I fingercomb. I don't know what the problem is 'cause like I've stated before, it's not breaking; it's just not growing and when it does it grows s-l-o-w-l-y!!! lol.
I"m taking vitamins and I wash bi-weekly, massage and moisturize twice a day. I've tried the conditioner washes and that just made my hair dry and hard. I got the same result when I tried washing weekly.
I know a relaxer isn't going to grow my hair. All I know is that it grew faster when I had one. That's all I know. I mean, to go from 1/2-1inch a month without vitamins and relaxed to 1/4-1/2 of an inch in 3-6 months is just plain ridiculous. I'm not asking to go from TWA to BAA in 2 days, but come on, Can I at least have my regular growth rate???? My hair has never grown so slow in all my life and that really has me stumped!
I'm tryin' to wait.......
Yes, I know that relaxed hair shows length. I'm telling ya'll IT AIN'T GROWIN' lol!!! Yes, I have pressed it before, twice as a matter of fact and it is indeed the SAME stinking length as it was when it stopped growing in June/July.
I've put it in braids before and now I'm wearing wigs/weaves. I don't comb my hair, except when it's wet with conditioner. Other than that, I fingercomb. I don't know what the problem is 'cause like I've stated before, it's not breaking; it's just not growing and when it does it grows s-l-o-w-l-y!!! lol. I"m taking vitamins and I wash bi-weekly, massage and moisturize twice a day. I've tried the conditioner washes and that just made my hair dry and hard. I got the same result when I tried washing weekly.
I know a relaxer isn't going to grow my hair. All I know is that it grew faster when I had one. That's all I know. I mean, to go from 1/2-1inch a month without vitamins and relaxed to 1/4-1/2 of an inch in 3-6 months is just plain ridiculous. I'm not asking to go from TWA to BAA in 2 days, but come on, Can I at least have my regular growth rate???? My hair has never grown so slow in all my life and that really has me stumped!
I'm tryin' to wait.......
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