Former naturals: Did Lack of time & styling skills lead you to relax/heat train?

It was the SSK's and tangles that pushed me over the edge. I tried wearing twists even though I didnt like them on me and I would still find knots on the ends. I trimmed them off and they came back. I tried to ignore them and that caused splits. I felt like I wasn't getting the length because of my ends so I texlaxed. I saved a huge ball of hair from my last detangling session as a natural to remind me of what I had to endure.

Also, I hated leaving the house with my hair looking one way and by the end of the day I looked a mess because it shrank so much. I do sometimes miss my kinks and curls and I probably should've gotten a professional trim but I was scared to do that. Another thing I realized is the way I wanted to wear my hair (wash n go) was not the best style for my natural hair type to maximize retention. My hair would've done best being braided or in locs.

I can say that I'm happy with my texlaxed hair because detangling is much easier, I can rollerset, wear wash n go's, my hair is thick but so much more easier to deal with.
 
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Charla thanks for this thread! I just had this convo with my husband after he saw how many hours i spent on a flexi rod set only to walk out side and it frizz up like to nobody's business it looked HORRID even he was amazed at how much it expanded and totally lost it's shape! I even slept overnight in those blasted curlers which hurt like crazy only to have some still a little damp. Even tho' i have great growth retention being natural it takes A LOT OF TIME and I just don't have the strength, time or patience anymore.:nono: So frustrating! I'm getting choked up just saying that. Anyway this thur i'm getting a BKT If that doesn't help I'm thinking of texlaxing again. Thanks for the support everybody!
 
*ahem* heat trained natural here. Not only does it cut down on styling time, but I also retain moisture better. The curlier my hair is the less moisture it retains and I don't know why that is
 
When i was natural, like others stated, it was SSKs that drove me back to relaxing. My hair thrived but I wanted to give being natural another shot. I missed my curls/napps and i wanted to be able to wear curly or straight. I learned that keeping my natural hair stretched will lessen/prevent SSKs and i hope it works this time.
 
Charla said:
@SimJam Thank you! I really appreciate the help and detail you've outlined here!



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I wonder if my matting and tangles could be due to my cuticles being lifted. Even just a few days ago, I detangled in small sections upon removing my celies. Then I decided to just divide my hair in 5 big sections to cowash and M&S. Then I banded those 5 sections. In the morning, when I tried to take it down, I thought it would be easy breezy since it was already fully detangled and M&S, but it had already started to do spider web matting from the roots down the length and tangled ends even though it was seperated. I really wonder if that's because the cuticle is raised. I was reading that thread on avj and maybe doing a spray of avj before I M&S will help to smooth the cuticles. I'll start that on next wash. And when I detangle, I always do the 3-comb method using my seamless combs from root to tip. I make sure that by the 3rd comb which is the fine one that it can go through my section effortlessly from root to tip. So I know I'm getting rid of all the shed hairs.

And yes, my wash/detangle/celie sessions take me 8-10 hours -- and that's going from celie to celie not fro/WnG to celie! Like I mentioned before, detangling from a fro/WnG takes me 2 days!



After I've fully detangled, and my hair is coated in oil and conditioner and separated into 5 sections, I wash my scalp one loose section at a time with sulfate free shampoo and then rinse out the conditioner and oil and shampoo at one time then clip it up and move to the next section. I wonder could me maniupatling my roots in the shower like that be causing me to start my hair on the road to tangles??? But I make sure it' all smooth and I even run my fingers through the length, so IDK. It could just be a matter of my cuticles being raised.





How are you preserving your twistouts at night and how are you refreshing them as the days passed. Did you mentioned that upthread already? I'll check.

I usually get 2 days from a twistout before I need to re-twist. I just re-twist in the night and pull out in the morning. If I dont feel like re-twisting then I puff it for the rest of the week. (sleep with a bonnet or scarf)

I am cracking up at myself as I read how fast you can do your twists. I did just 4 twists last night for a bang (to go along with my toddler puff!) and it took me upwards of 30 minutes to separate it out, detangle AGAIN!, spritz with water and M&S and put in those 4 twists (2 flat twists, 2 regular twists)! And you can do your whole head in 20-30 minutes! I gots work to do to improve my skills!!

practice makes perfect
practice on the front part, thats easily accessible:yep:


This helps tremendously! Thanks again because I truly WANT to stay natural. And if I can just manage to significantly reduce the time it takes me to do my hair from beginning to end (end being full detangled and M&S, not styling) then I'll just keep practicing different styles to work away from the puff. Heck I'll even practice my twists better so it doesn't take me 30 minutes to do 4 twists! That's just sad!
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hope you've been getting better with your hair :grin:
 
as a former natural what led me back to relaxers was various things. number 1 my hair stylist said that a texturizer wasn't like a relaxer, which was a lie, and number 2 I was just tired of all the time it took me to do my hair when I was natural. I hated the time it took me to get the mats and knots out of my hair. but then again I was really young when I went natural. I was 16 when I went natural and that was back in 1999, and there wasn't really any support for naturals back then & I didn't really know how to do my hair and had limited finances being in high school & all. I think now that I'm more knowledgeable about my hair and my hair texture and what works best for me maybe in the future I might go natural but I'm still contemplating the option. there are always pros and cons to everything and what I like about texlaxing is the versatility of in theory being natural and also being relaxed. I just do not like the chemicals of a relaxer & the fact that you could burn your scalp and its dangerous. I could go on and on of the pros & cons of being natural or relaxed.



Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF
 
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candycan said:
@Charla thanks for this thread! I just had this convo with my husband after he saw how many hours i spent on a flexi rod set only to walk out side and it frizz up like to nobody's business it looked HORRID even he was amazed at how much it expanded and totally lost it's shape! I even slept overnight in those blasted curlers which hurt like crazy only to have some still a little damp. Even tho' i have great growth retention being natural it takes A LOT OF TIME and I just don't have the strength, time or patience anymore.:nono: So frustrating! I'm getting choked up just saying that. Anyway this thur i'm getting a BKT If that doesn't help I'm thinking of texlaxing again. Thanks for the support everybody!
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candycan I feel your pain in every word you typed!

SimJam said:
hope you've been getting better with your hair :grin:
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Yes, it's improving! I am now heat training and my first time was successful. I blow dried on medium, put it in small plaits, trimmed 1.5-2" off the bottom of each plait, then flat ironed on 380 for 5 passes and 3 more passes on the bottom 3" because that's the curliest and the bane of my existence for SSK!

So I wore it straight one day, then on a loose flexirod (just 10) set that lasted for 2-3 days. It was gaw-jus!

Then Monday I did a braid and curl and have been wearing it like that since Tuesday morning. The awesome thing is when I sat down to do my braid and curl, I only had to snip one knot! I'm still working on my heat training routine, but things are getting easier and faster already!:yay:
 
Orchid1992 said:
*ahem* heat trained natural here. Not only does it cut down on styling time, but I also retain moisture better. The curlier my hair is the less moisture it retains and I don't know why that is
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Orchid1992 What's your heat training routine? I noted above about my first session. It's not my goal to keep bone straight hair because I still want a lot of body and some texture to it.

I hope to find a good routine to settle into with this to make sure I'm on the right track and my hair thrives. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
 
i relaxed because i wanted straight hair without using heat. i like certain styles(set styles) its just that they would only last 2-3 days on my natural hair while my texlaxed hair can last a week in one set. im transitioning to keratin treated hair just to see how that would work out. I dont regret relaxing my hair as of yet. i had some of my best hair days as a relaxed head. if i go "grassroots nappy"(no heat,color,bkt) again i probably would keep it short.
 
Charla said:
Orchid1992 What's your heat training routine? I noted above about my first session. It's not my goal to keep bone straight hair because I still want a lot of body and some texture to it.

I hope to find a good routine to settle into with this to make sure I'm on the right track and my hair thrives. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
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Charla

After deep conditioning and washing my hair, I detangle and blow dry with a heat protectant cream. Right now, I'm using Nubian Heritage's Honey and Black Seed Heat Protect Leave-In Conditioning Cream. The ingredients are amazing and it's good for moisturizing and protecting my hair. I use my bootleg/fake Denman brush while I blow dry.

I straighten my hair on 180 degree Celsius which I think is about 355 degrees Fahrenheit (my flat iron is from Korea:look:). I take 1-3 passes. I use Tresseme Heat defeat and a bit of EVOO as a heat protectant.

The results are light, textured, bouncy hair. Anything higher than 180 degree Celsius and my hair is bone straight.

The key to avoiding damage is to lower the amount of heat you use when your hair gets used to the training. I started out using 400 F and I'm down to around 350F. I'm also changing the method in which I dry my hair because I don't need to use as much heat.

My hair stays straight until my next wash
 
Orchid1992 said:
Charla

After deep conditioning and washing my hair, I detangle and blow dry with a heat protectant cream. Right now, I'm using Nubian Heritage's Honey and Black Seed Heat Protect Leave-In Conditioning Cream. The ingredients are amazing and it's good for moisturizing and protecting my hair. I use my bootleg/fake Denman brush while I blow dry.

I straighten my hair on 180 degree Celsius which I think is about 355 degrees Fahrenheit (my flat iron is from Korea:look:). I take 1-3 passes. I use Tresseme Heat defeat and a bit of EVOO as a heat protectant.

The results are light, textured, bouncy hair. Anything higher than 180 degree Celsius and my hair is bone straight.

The key to avoiding damage is to lower the amount of heat you use when your hair gets used to the training. I started out using 400 F and I'm down to around 350F. I'm also changing the method in which I dry my hair because I don't need to use as much heat.

My hair stays straight until my next wash
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Thanks for these details! I have a few questions, so I'll pm you soon. Thanks again!
 
I use Silk Elements Smoothing Products(never used entire system, just the shampoo/dc/leave-in)...Not sure what my hair is considered; whether "natural" or "texlaxed". All I know is I dont have ssks anymore(mine were ruthless) and I can 2 strand twist in 3 hrs at grazing BSL when prior to using the SE products it took 7-8 hrs...still working on perfecting my flat-iron techniques:look:. But I blame myself for not being more diligent on better techniques/products.:lol:
 
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I have been heavily considering perming again. My last perm was 8 years ago. I decided not to perm last friday. I am going to try to get a good natual hair regimin. I get tired of the puff
 
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