Forgive me ladies, for i have sinned

[hillytmj]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your hair will rebound too, so don't worry. I would just stick to basics now - weekly washing and keeping it moisturized. Buns/ponies may be easy now too.

Also, you may consider taking a B-Complex vitamin. They are supposed to ward off stress and will perhaps help with the shedding (which is normal, given the stress you are under now).

 

[4mia]

I just want to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. I can sympathize with the pain of losing a child. You will only be able to move through the pain, not get over it, but eventually you will find it easier to simply breathe. Take each day as it comes. As you heal spiritually perhaps seek counseling specifically from an agency that works with parents that have lost children. There are also support groups. It helps to know that you are not alone.

As far as a regimen is concerned, you have already received some great advice. Aussie Moist is a great staple moisturizer that you can purchase anywhere. It's about $4-$6 depending on whether you buy the small bottle or the pump bottle. Nexxus Humectress is another good one, and you can buy it at Walmart for $8!

Keep in mind how hormones may affect your hair. I know pregnany dries out my skin and hair, so if you can, try to be sure to find the time to moisturize your hair in sections. You may also need to change products as your pregnancy progresses if your hair changes as well. Do try to DC at least once a week. Don't forget your satin/silk bonnet and scarf to protect your hair while you sleep.

You and your family are in my prayers. Congratulations on your pregnancy. And remember that healing takes time. It cannot be rushed. Give yourself the time that you need.

thank u or your advise, i have realized this is something i cannot get over, and i wanted the new baby to be a boy for the wrong reasons. I feel like god is giving me a girl for a reason. yes i have been experiencing my skin and hair drying out. I will look into support groups, it seems everytime i hear of another parent losing thier child, it stabs me in the heart. I wouldnt wish this pain on anyone.
thank you for your post.
Thank everyone for the responses, it really has helped.

 

[4mia]

4Mia,

I understand exactly what you are feeling. My infant daughter passed away this past April. I was transitioning, but I broke down and relaxed my hair for her funeral. I turned around and got my hair braided two weeks later - and the braids are still in. I swing back and forth between not really caring about my hair (or appearance in general), to hyper-focusing on it. I feel that same vibe in your post. Be patient with yourself. Nobody's expecting us to "get on with it" like before. We have experienced a living hell that most people couldn't imagine if you paid them.

As for the shedding, you are under an incredible amount of stress. But relaxing (your mind and body - not your hair!) and staying on top of those prenatal vitamins should curb a lot of it. The good news is you're expecting another bundle of joy, so there is ample opportunity for your hair to recover and thrive. Just stay on top of your deep conditioning, moisture and protein balance, and protective styling - and your hair will be back to normal in no time flat.

i am very sorry for your loss. the week of my sons funeral, i didnt comb moisturize or touch my hair the whole week. My sister in law dragged me to the salon days before to get a relaxer. your exactly right, my moods swing back and forth. I care about my appearance, some days i just dont want to do anything but sleep. I am going to go back to the basics though, and try to enjoy this pregnancy instead of feeling guilty.
thank you for your post.
its strange that a month after i loss my son, you had to go through that pain as well. Just when i thought noone can possibly understand how i feel, someone reminds me im not alone.

 

[Lucie]

((( HUGS )))

The ladies gave you wonderful advice and please do not be too hard on yourself. We are all here for you. XOXO!

 

[Southern Belle]

i am very sorry for your loss. the week of my sons funeral, i didnt comb moisturize or touch my hair the whole week. My sister in law dragged me to the salon days before to get a relaxer. your exactly right, my moods swing back and forth. I care about my appearance, some days i just dont want to do anything but sleep. I am going to go back to the basics though, and try to enjoy this pregnancy instead of feeling guilty.
thank you for your post.
its strange that a month after i loss your son, you had to go through that pain as well. Just when i thought noone can possibly understand how i feel, someone reminds me im not alone.

The guilt. I can relate to that on so many levels. It's amazing how it can come from out of nowhere and punch you in the stomach when you least expect it.

I have 3 boys. This was my princess that I had prayed so hard for. She was sooooo pretty. When she was born, I just stared at her. I couldn't believe she was mine. Actually, her and my youngest son aren't even 2 years apart - and they look EXACTLY alike (he's one of those "pretty" boys that everyone thought was a girl for the longest time.)

But when he's asleep, I look at him and see "her" face, and I have to turn away quickly - because it hurts too bad to look at him. But then I feel HORRIBLE, because he's my baby too, and I should see his sleeping face as adorable, not as a source of pain. (Be prepared to face those kinds of feelings when your daughter is born - especially if she comes out looking like him.)

I PM'd you my phone number in case you ever want to talk. Sometimes I feel isolated too, because as much as people want to understand - they just can't. Its not natural for a mother to bury her child. It's just not supposed to happen. You can call me ANYTIME - I mean it. I don't know how much help I could be, because I still cry alot myself. But if you ever need someone to listen that "gets it" - I'm here.

 

[Mook's hair]

Hello,

I'm happy to see you reaching out to us and trying to make positive moves in your life after what you've been through. My heart goes out to you and I am overjoyed that you are expecting again. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Yes, it is a good plan to try to get back on top of your hair care to improve your emotional frame of mind.

I see that you had bad luck with ayurvedic powders and also that you're trying to keep it inexpensive.
Dove Intense Damage Therapy Conditioner.
Cream of Nature Shampoo
Kid Organics Detangling lotion
IC aloe Deep Penetrating Conditioner for DC

And good old coconut oil.

Maybe you could try some twists and twistouts or braidouts.