Flat Ironing Your Hair to Fool a Man....

[UrbainChic]

Two days after I met him, I had sweated out my blowout due to the humidity and he asked to wash my hair. Since he had sulfate free shampoo at his house I let him do it. It was a great experience for both of us....I'm thinking it DID, in fact, have something to do with the fact that I am a black woman and I let him touch my hair. He was so astonished when my hair curled up into these tiny ringlets. But you know what sealed the deal? He pulled some Kinky Curly out from under his bathroom sink and asked me if I had heard of it....his sister put him onto it back in '08.

WOW dream date! Is this real? LOL! Thats the kind of activity i dream about but like down the line lol.

 

[Sprinkl3s]

I never tried to trick anyone on purpose
But this one guy I'm seeing used to only see me in wigs (for protective styling), and then one day I went to his house after I came home from a trip with my natural twists and a beenie on my head and he didnt say anything.

When I called him the next day I was like, I think I like you because that was the first time you seen my natural hair and you didn't make a big deal about it.

Him: You got natural hair, like a fro
Me: Ummm...Yes
Him: Im bout to go look at your facebook. Yea I like that long straight hair but your cute either way.
Me: I didn't know you were so shallow
Him: Your shallow, your the one wearing the straight wigs.
Me:I was protecting my hair,.... why am I telling you my secrets. I gotta go I'll call you later.

He almost made me not want to wear wigs no more

 

[westNDNbeauty]

All cute stories....keep them coming.

There has to be more out there like me....for the record, I have intentionally straightened my hair to trick a man....I find it halarious when I unleash the 'fro and I get the tilted head stare as if to say "Uhhh...is that a wig??"

 

[Kash]

What dummy over the age of 18 thinks black women have naturally straight hair?

i know... that' why i don't understand what the trick is.
maybe the guy is tricked because he didn't know that naturally nappy/coily hair could be temporarily straightened.

 

[FRESHstart101]

well ive been talking to this guy for like ... 2-3 yrs right
and so ive had my relaxed straight hair the whole time
but a month after i graduated high school i cut off all
my relaxed hair. i know he really liked my long straight
hair ... like ... really. he even listed it as one of the
things he likes about me erplexed, and now im
kinda freaked to reveal the NATURAL me.

advice anyone ?

 

[Nubenap22]

The guy I'm currently seeing first saw my wigs...then my braid extensions....then a natural updo.....on his birthday....he just kept staring at it.....then he finally asked when we were at PF Changs....." Can I touch it" lmao I looked horrified bc it was a bad hair day but I said yes....but I needed to wash my hair.....he said I wanna watch so He did....and I flat Ironed it and he was like WOW "ca I touch it?" lmao he always gets the glazed over look when its straight but he knows it not going to last long....He loves it more in my braids, braidouts, and weaves..... he says when I wear it straight i look too innocent lmao!!

 

[westNDNbeauty]

i know... that' why i don't understand what the trick is.
maybe the guy is tricked because he didn't know that naturally nappy/coily hair could be temporarily straightened.

Well being that there are more women with relaxed hair than those with natural hair, if a guy saw a woman with straightened hair, most guys will more than likely assume her hair to be chemically altered. The possibility of a huge 'fro usually is nowhere in their thoughts. That is one way a man can be fooled....not because anyone is doing so intentionally, but due to most males' minute knowlege of hair.

Ladies correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[-PYT]

well ive been talking to this guy for like ... 2-3 yrs right
and so ive had my relaxed straight hair the whole time
but a month after i graduated high school i cut off all
my relaxed hair. i know he really liked my long straight
hair ... like ... really. he even listed it as one of the
things he likes about me erplexed, and now im
kinda freaked to reveal the NATURAL me.

advice anyone ?

Let it show! If hair defines how he feels about you, forget him. He might love it. Never know til you try

 

[westNDNbeauty]

anymore stories?

 

[Nina_deF]

lol. no thats a bad idea! but to fool a potential employer yesss
then come in with my napps and hippie clothes after they hire me

This is what I do.
Show up in a straight pony, glasses, flats, slacks, etc.

A week into the employment I show up in heels (I'm 5'11 without) and curls galore!

 

[softblackcotton]

No, cute story. More guys approached me when I had APL-MBL braid extensions. The guys were not quality men either very young, very thuggish, and very ghetto or very old, very nasty old men. Now that I confident in my very shrunken, gel-defined, curly shot fro style I don't get as much attention at least not directly. Men have hardly approached since I started wearing my hair consistently in a short shruken fro. My bf who has been my friend for two years likes it though and women LOVE it. The keep asking me how I get my hair this way.

 

[HE_Blesses_MY_Tresses]

When I was younger, and a lot more impressionable, I relaxed my beautifully curly hair because my sons dad asked me too. Needless to say, we broke up and my hair broke off. Not saying relaxers are unhealthy but I was just unaware of how to properly care for my hair with one in. So I have my son and grew about 7 inches of new growth, went on a deployment for 7 months right before his first birthday and grew back all my length and then some. I cut off all the relaxed ends, so I was 100% natural and everyone LOVES my hair, men and women alike. I was stationed in Alabama and a lot of men liked the fact that I didn't mind the outdoor posts on rainy days. Some females would make the men do all the work because they didn't want to get their weaves wet. I actually got a lot of complements about my hair while checking id's in the rain...lol I did protective styles all throughout but i got most genuine compliments when I had my natural hair. I dated a guy while I had tree braids and he loved the straight hair on me so I was kinda nervous to take them out and did so when he was out of the house then went right to the salon to get them redone ...smh I relaxed my hair again like a dummy ( i say "dummy" because I still didnt learn how to take care of it and it started to break off again) I ended up BCing and starting from about 3" while I was deployed in 2006 and I have been relaxer free ever since. The guy I'm with now HATES wigs, especially since i have long(ish) hair ( a little past APL) He can tolerate a weave if its natural looking and in good taste but he likes the freedom of running his hands through my hair. we take a lot of showers together and the few times I had a weave in I didnt want to get my hair wet so then it REALLY turned him off to weaves. He doesnt like micros, says he's tired of seeing them and he loves my natural hair better. He loves when I straighten it but he thinks its exotic when it is curly. Which is good for him because I have learned to just be ME the way I am most comfortable being and that is with my curly hair. I got a keratin treatment, which straightened my hair and I was in TEARS and i felt so ugly. When I straighten my naturally curly hair, I know the curls are coming back but i was unsure about the keratin treatment...I think a lot of it has to do with the LENGTH of the hair as well, as someone stated before. Most men like long hair. If i want to freak him out I get real serious and tell him I am going to cut my hair. Whatever the "reason" is I tell him, he gets online and finds something that will help...lol i think its hilarious

 

[tocktick]

The concept of this is strange to me. I think straightening to snag a man is an action that assumes:

* your (general "your") natural hair isn't good enough in your eyes to add enough to your overall look/personality to appeal to men

* you (general "you" like above) buy into the idea that straight hair is what gives you that edge/sexiness etc. The reality may be that with the straight hair you subconsciously project a more confident persona than with natural hair and in turn = more male attention. So this experience begins to seem like the reality. Even if you doesn't act differently at all it leads to this point:

* they'd be happy with a guy whose preference from jump street may well not be their natural texture. This isn't like a man you meet when you're relaxed who prefers that look and isn't thrilled when you BC but someone you're trying to snag.

Personally, one of the reasons why I try to keep my hair out of braids or any style that I don't do on a regular basis for the most part is because I would rather the majority of people met me how I naturally wear my hair. This goes for friends, colleagues at work and of course, the men I meet. I would not like it if someone I met had an image of me in their head and I met them on a date looking rather different when it's actually what I normally look like. It may or may not turn them off - who knows but I do think how you style you hair does have a reasonably significant effect on how you look most times. I know men prefer my hair out over in a bun, even though the texture is pretty much the same. I project a significantly different image in their minds and they notice - more so than if I switch up my make-up, wear a different dress or different shoes. Simple as.

 

[westNDNbeauty]

bump!!!!!!

 

[MizzBrown]

I aint natural but the employer/interviewing does concern me.

I wonder if many natural women straighten their hair while looking for a job and then wear their fro afterwards.

 

[westNDNbeauty]

I aint natural but the employer/interviewing does concern me.

I wonder if many natural women straighten their hair while looking for a job and then wear their fro afterwards.

I personally wouldn't be against it. People are so superficial sometimes. You need to do things like that for them see your potential.

 

[lamorenita02907]

I've never straightened my hair to trick a man. But when I met my DH I wore a curly weave (MBL). He loved it. When we moved in he realised it was a weave he was a lil disappointed and wanted me to take care of my own hair instead of wearing the weaves. So I did and that's how I got here.

So anyways i explained to him that I was going natural and that it would eventually be curl all over...he loves the straight look which is diapointing to me because it doesn't do anything for me. It's just so flat and boring to me. But he looooves it. When I wear my WNG's he didn't really like it at first but now that i't getting longer I think he's getting use to it. I get more compliments with my hair curly than straight> I love it and not willing to give it up! He better get use to it! He love straight long hair though.

Some mean are just attracted to certain styles more than others I guess

 

[Ronnieaj]

I aint natural but the employer/interviewing does concern me.

I wonder if many natural women straighten their hair while looking for a job and then wear their fro afterwards.

My best friend did that when we were in law school. She was one of the few naturals in my law and she would flatiron prior to on-campus interviewing. I don't think it's a problem. She would also cover up her tattoo and remove her tongue ring, so..... I'd probably do the same thing. She's now texlaxed, but wears it curly full time.

I'm lucky that my SO and I were together during my transition, so he's seen the whole gamut. Everyone immediately loved my hair curly though, and all told me that they preferred it to my straight hair. I only straighten a few times a year now.

 

[Prudent1]

My best friend did that when we were in law school. She was one of the few naturals in my law and she would flatiron prior to on-campus interviewing. I don't think it's a problem. She would also cover up her tattoo and remove her tongue ring, so..... I'd probably do the same thing. She's now texlaxed, but wears it curly full time.

I'm lucky that my SO and I were together during my transition, so he's seen the whole gamut. Everyone immediately loved my hair curly though, and all told me that they preferred it to my straight hair. I only straighten a few times a year now.

Ronnieaj,
I typically would do this too but during my last season of active job searching (cuz the resume is neva really retired), I decided to wear natural styles. Buns mostly, but some twist outs and braid outs as well. I think @BlackMasterPiece had a thread a while back with a lot of professional natural hair styles suitable for interviews. BTW- I got the job . I guess it depends on where you are geographically and mentally but as a whole I think times are changing for the better for AA women.