You playin' right? You did not flatiron this.
Here are my suggestions:
1.) Freshly conditioned, clean hair- nice ends. Makes the straigtening go much better. The conditioning phase also protects the hair from the heat. Nice ends keeps the ends moving so that they arent catching on each other.
2.) Very little product after the hair has dried. I usually spray in my leave in and add just a teensy bit of serum through out-- then either roller set or let airdry. Once it's dried, I don't put anything on it.
3.) Use a good quality flat iron- preferably ceramic. It'll distribute heat evenly and continuously. My last flat iron used to heat up HOT, HOT but by the time I was finished, the heat had fizzled out. I have an FHI and I use it between around 325 ish.
4.) Small, thin sections. And I mean paper thin sections that don't extend out past the plates of your iron. And to me this is like the most important thing. I don't send chunks of hair through the plates. Thin, thin thin sections.
I make the sections and then go over each micro sectioned piece with a fine toothed comb to make sure it's detangled. The better its smoothed out before the heat, the sleeker it will be after the heat has passed over it.
5.) Two passes-- I send the first passing about an inch or two down the shaft, and send another passing all the way down to the ends. That reduces the heat on the most vulnerable parts.
That's all I can think of now.
Those pics cracked me up though March!