FL: Parental Training Before Divorce

[Nonie]

Please forgive my ignorance but I have a friend who is going through divorce who could use some direction. She and her hubby have one child, a teen. They've been separated for a couple of years. Her hubby and son live in FL while she lives in Louisiana and according to her hubby, both he and she need to take a parental training course prior to the court honoring the divorce proceedings. He has been able to get his side of that deal down, but she turned to me for advice on where to go for this but I know nothing about this requirement. I asked her if she asked her relative who is a lawyer but she said he said he knew of no such requirement in Louisiana. Apparently this is a FL requirement

So can someone please enlighten me on this? I was about to do a Google search to see if there are some court-approved courses but I thought someone here might know and be able to point us in the right direction. I'd hate for her to invest in a class that isn't "recognized" by the courts and have to do it all over again, so any direction you can give us will be greatly appreciated.

 

[carcajada]

Is she in contact with a lawyer? I got all of that information from the lawyer. I'm in tx and had the option of online courses or a class. Both options were from state agencies. I would post the info but that would do no good since it is state based.

 

[Nonie]

Is she in contact with a lawyer? I got all of that information from the lawyer. I'm in tx and had the option of online courses or a class. Both options were from state agencies. I would post the info but that would do no good since it is state based.

carcajada thanks so much for responding. I was also surprised that her relative was so clueless and he is a lawyer. Even Google was more helpful. I found a website that seems to have Nationwide Court Approved Classes: http://familyaffairs.org/

And the more I read on this, the more I realize it seems to be a common thing that is part and parcel of divorce. Which makes me just even more irritated that a divorce lawyer in LA doesn't know about this. Even if it may not be needed in LA, you'd think he'd still be aware of something so common.

I appreciate you mentioning that it is state specific coz we'd have been doing any ol' random course. You made us pay attention and consider the fact that while she lives in LA, the proceedings will be in FL so we probably need to do the FL required course. Anyway, I looked at the profile creation page and it seems like she'll end up doing the right thing because the form asks for her address and then asks for "State of Pending Action" so I guess she won't have to guess but will just be directed to the right page.

Thanks again for helping me help her. (My friend has a phobia for the Internet and her English isn't very good, so she was in pieces when she called me all terrified that she'd do something wrong. Thankfully the website does let you do the course in your preferred language and so she will be able to do it in Spanish and therefore understand all that's required of her.)

We appreciate you. :blowkiss:

 

[Nonie]

carcajada or anyone... I need you again.

OK, so the way my friend found out about needing to do this class is when her hubby called her and told her. Anyway, I was on the phone just being there for her as she filled out the form and then she got to a part of the registration form that asked for Cause/Case Number and she doesn't know of one. She calls her hubby and he says that there is no number because they need to do the course before the court can pay attention to the case. Is that true? Why would the website ask for a number if one isn't assigned beforehand?

What exactly is the procedure? What comes first? Sorry for all the questions but I feel so useless as I know nothing and my friend is looking to me to guide her. She doesn't make much money so it's not like she has access to a good lawyer. If there's a thread with all the details, please direct me to it and I'll pass that on.

Thank you for your time.

 

[carcajada]

That's not true here. There should have been a case number assigned when the documents were filed, signed, and submitted. She really really needs to get someone to look at her divorce documents because he sounds like he is just telling her anything. Has she received documents to sign? Like has she been served papers? I really feel for her because the whole process can be overwhelming.

carcajada or anyone... I need you again.

OK, so the way my friend found out about needing to do this class is when her hubby called her and told her. Anyway, I was on the phone just being there for her as she filled out the form and then she got to a part of the registration form that asked for Cause/Case Number and she doesn't know of one. She calls her hubby and he says that there is no number because they need to do the course before the court can pay attention to the case. Is that true? Why would the website ask for a number if one isn't assigned beforehand?

What exactly is the procedure? What comes first? Sorry for all the questions but I feel so useless as I know nothing and my friend is looking to me to guide her. She doesn't make much money so it's not like she has access to a good lawyer. If there's a thread with all the details, please direct me to it and I'll pass that on.

Thank you for your time.

 

[p31woman]

Not sure what state your friend is in but this is true in Georgia.

I don't know the procedure but I know someone who went through a divorce and there were children involved and they had to take a "parenting after divorce" class as well.

 

[firecracker]

Tell her to contact the courts. If she is in the City of L.A tell her to call 311 and ask them. We have a wealth of resources and info if we don't have it she can call L.A County 311 for the info.

I had to take court appointed parenting classes but that was way back in 1980's. I took them in Long Beach. They have the classes all over the place. I took counseling thru Catholic Charities she can contact them about court appointed/approved classes also.

It didn't help my son's situation because his Dad was a sick hateful spitefilled game playing full of b!tcharseness bastid. LOL As you can see it didn't bring back good memories. The classes were of great assistance with the child I kept in my house and raised.

 

[diadall]

I live in Florida...its parenting cooridination.

When it was a bill in the legislature the first time I fought it ( I was the lead lobbyist for the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence) luckily that yearvi got then Gov. Jeb Bush to veto it (his only veto that year.)

I was against it for several reasons but here are a few:
1. Victims of dv should be able to divorce as quickly as they want/need to.

2. there are no real guidelines on who can serve in the parent coordination role...it should at least be a social worker but pastors, community service folks are lining up to claim they are coordinators with no training in family dynamics

3. A judge can choose one for you with your objection. Some of these coordinators have the nerve to charge $400 an hour...families cant afford that.

4. Unfairness. A study we did found parenting coordinators were more favorable to the person paying. So in the case of a stay at home mom, the working husband may be ordered to pay the bill and the coordinator would want to keep him happy.

Well, the bill passed after I left the DV office.

I will give you more info once I get to work on what she can do.

 

[diadall]

I am at work now I can finish:

Parenting coordination (PC) was one legislators way of making sure his aunt kept a job as a PC and to push family values. This state senator had an aunt that was a parenting coordinator but she did not have a degree in any health science she actually had no degree at all. She was a real estate agent and found out she could make lots of money per hour by setting up a parenting coordination shop. Qualified PCs didn't like it and they wanted to have a bill that you must be a licensed social worker to offer parenting coordination services, but this real estate agent stopped selling real estate and was making money charging $400 an hour in Miami for her services and judges were recommending her.

She also had a track record for getting couples to skip the divorce and get back together, even in cases of domestic violence.

So to protect his aunt, Senator Alex Villilobos of Miami filed the PC bill. Like I said it was vetoed by the governor and he was really pissed with me. I went to every committee (even the ones he tried to have in secret) and I got up to testify that it was not a good idea.

This is when I got to respect Jeb Bush and Columba Bush became a huge advocate against domestic violence.

So the bill has passed and this is what your friend can do (whether there is dv or not):

If she and her husband are on good terms they can just get a list of parenting coordinator in the area with the price list and just go and get it over with.

If she lives in another state she can do it via conference (Skype).

Let me know if she has specific questions I am meeting with the Florida Bar today on another issue and can ask them for resources.

 

[carcajada]

^^^ maybe you can tell her where to find her case number. We know classes or courses are required, but according to the op, she needs the case number and confirmation that the classes come first. With me, we signed and then had a certain amount if time for the course. It wasn't as if the divorce wouldnt be taken seriously if we didn't take the class first.

 

[Nonie]

carcajada, those were my exact sentiments, that her hubby is just telling her whatever. He's not a very smart guy IMO and I keep thinking that he probably isn't even getting his info from someone well versed on the law. For all I know he could be talking to someone who just knows you need A, B, C to get a divorce and then just running off and doing it.

firecracker, thanks for the suggestions to call those numbers for info. I'll tell her to do so.

p31woman, yeah, I know that now. I just don't know if my friend's hubby has the right end of the stick. She seems to need a case # before she can take the course but he says they won't get one till they take the course because they can't file till they've taken the course. Seems he's got that wrong.

diadall, yes carcajada is right, what I need to know is where she would find the case number she needs to register to do the course online. It seems it's something she should already have. She was served with divorce papers by mail from her hubby (Is that normal? Or should they have been delivered the subpoenas are delivered? I feel so ignorant and useless ) She signed them and sent them back to him.

I wish she were still living in VA so I couldn't been around while she's dealing with this coz she's really a scaredy cat and anything "official" makes her so nervous that she'll just jump w/o looking. When she was served the papers, she was so upset and was just going to sign them w/o reading. I had to beg her to please let her relative lawyer look over them. He did and it apparently seemed all was in order. She then send them to her hubby in FL to file.

I was telling her (without knowing for sure) that if he filed, then a case number would have been assigned. But dude is telling her that he can't file till they take the class; that the court told him that and that there is no number because they haven't done the class yet. He says he took the class in person but doesn't have a number. The hell?

I just feel like he's confused or also not keeping records--which he never was good at anyway. I'm not saying that just coz he wronged my friend (by running off to live with his fluffy bit on the side after 17 years of not a hint that anything was wrong), but she was always the one who kept the records in their home and he was always going to her to find a document he needed. So I can only imagine what sort of mess his current filing system is in.

So yes, diadall, if you know more about how she can find out the case number, please let me know. For now I'll call her and tell her to call 311 in Louisiana to find out whatever she can. Hopefully they can give her the number in FL where she can call if they can't get it for her.

Incidentally, I just had a thought You know how you can look up court cases online, would divorce be such a public record that one could find if one knew the court and names of the parties involved? Does anyone know?

 

[diadall]

Depending on the county she can look up the divorce record herself online. For example Seminole County in Sanford has an excellent online search to locate case numbers. Other that that I would call the Clerk of Courts to get the number.

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

My attorney gave me the info and told me who to call in order to take the class. I'm in Illinois though