Feeling hurt, worthless, and depressed...

[Honeyhips]

Just wanted to clarify that there are 3 seperate stories here. I didn't want to make 3 different topics.

1. What do you tell someone who feels hurt, worthless and depressed. Pray, and Praise if so what? Deliverance? I say all of the above, but I don't know what specific scripture or song will help. In a nutshell she became friends with someone and they totally betrayed her trust, lied, used, and manipulated her. They also tore her down with their words, supposedly they were pointing out her flaws to help build her up. The person who did it was only sorry b/c they didn't realize they could hurt someone like that. They didn't like the ugliness inside of them. I don't even think they realized what they did. *rolleyes* Should see tell the person, who is a Christian, how they affected her? How does she get her joy and confidence back?

2. How do you explain a persons admiration for you turning into jealousy? Were they always jealous? Did you do something to offend them? How can they get over it? *don't know*

3. I really need help with this one. There is a girl at my church who, I don't want to be bothered with. She is extemely bossy, rude and incosiderate---Ok, I know what I need to do in this situation. I have to pray to God to change the way I deal with her. At this point it is either cut her off, or go off on her. Neither which are biblical... right? Any other suggestions or specific scriptures to help me out.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

I don't normally post in here but I saw the title and that grabbed my attention. Girl, it's like my 65 year old die hard Christian mom told me at a point in my life (similar experience) ,"Cut that ***** loose and don't you dare feel bad about it". When I did it was like a breath of fresh air for my soul. I didn't have any trauma, didn't have to listen to her belittle, cheat, complain, and lie about people. I felt like a big weight had been lifted. Now mind you she talked about me and spreaded lies but when I said I was done, I was done. My mom also says,"God's got a way, and it's mighty sweet". While they're busy runnin' their mouths, be busy runnin' yo' bidness.

On another note, don't mean to offend anyone so please pardon me if I do... some of the biggest hypocrites I've ever known hid behind the guise of Christianity. I learn more by watching a person walk the path of righteousness than sit and continously talk about it. Feed those people with a long handled spoon. Yeah pray for them, but if someone is always surrounded by negative drama... be careful because you can get sucked into it all. It steals your joy, your peace, and your peace of mind.

Your friend can talk to them about it, but whether or not they'll "hear" her is a horse of a different color. The way she gets her joy back? Take it just as easily as she gave it. I think she needs time to let her heart heal. Show her that not all people are like the "friend" she experienced. Jealousy? Wow.... that's a loaded gun. I've experienced it... truthfully I never thought I had anything to be jealous of. There's nothing she can do for their jealousy. It's their problem not hers... ya know? People are odd creatures. You never know what motivates their objectives or feelings. She should focus on herself... and turn to God to help heal. And in all honesty, I think she should cut ties with that person. Be civil...but keep them at bay. People like that aren't good for the soul. My sister would say "When God made me Christian, he didn't make me stupid". It's ok to have a back bone.

It's 5AM and I really need to go to bed. Hopefully I don't get flamed.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Forgot to add that I hope all goes well. Take care

 

[Country gal]

Read Lamentations for depression. It is a sad book but with hopeful message.

 

[PatTodd]

To Iluvsmuhgrass: You ain't said nuthin' but a word!

 

[Honeyhips]

luvsmygrass, you said a mouthfull girl. I told her it was ok to back away from that person, as long as she doesn't become bitter and hold unforgiveness. So you say just take her joy back. Does she just decide to be happy and that's it? How exactly do you do that?
Sbaker, I'll pass that on. Thanks.

2. Jealousy is a hard thing and can be rooted in insecurity, I guess I don't understand how you can admire someone and use them as something to look up to and then bam, you are all of a sudden jealous. What happened in between?

3. Now as for me, I asked one of the ladies in the church if I could love this girl as a sister, but not like her and keep my distance. She fell out and said it is impossible to love someone and not like them. But to be honest her and my personality do not mix. The friends she has now sit around and take it. Me, I'm not the one. I've known her for over 7 years and never spent an extended amount of time with her. I know she is extremely self absorbed and vain, no make that pretentious. But I didn't know how bad it was. And they say she got better. I guess I have to decide to not let her affect me. I mean she didn't before.

My sister would say "When God made me Christian, he didn't make me stupid". It's ok to have a back bone.

this just helped me.thanks.

 

[NewlyNature12]

"When God made me Christian, he didn't make me stupid". It's ok to have a back bone.

Great quote

 

[melodee]

I had a "friend" like this in the church. She drained me constantly, instead of edifying me. She always complained to me, and she was a little jealous of the gifts I use in the church. One time she even said " why do they pick you sing, I could do as good a job". Not true. I am not being boastful, as my help comes always from the Lord, but let's face it, she was green.


I treated her very nicely, but made it apparant that I didn't wan't to continue spending time grumbling. So I told her I didn't want to talk about music anymore, and let her know I was hurt by the remarks. Then I stopped calling, or doing more than being polite to her. It eventually worked.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

So you say just take her joy back. Does she just decide to be happy and that's it? How exactly do you do that?

Remember the saying all it takes is a made up mind? When you decide to CHOOSE happiness instead of choosing the madness that goes along with folk's issues you lighten your load. It doesn't mean that poof you'll be happy... anything takes work. It's just a matter of changing your perspective. Don't allow negativity in your space. When you or someone you know starts whining or complaining or gossiping, etc.... distance yourself from that. Put it outside your personal space.

2. Jealousy is a hard thing and can be rooted in insecurity, I guess I don't understand how you can admire someone and use them as something to look up to and then bam, you are all of a sudden jealous. What happened in between?

I guess somewhere along the lines they start to say ''why her and why not me?".... that's just a guess. I don't understand it myself ya know? It could be anything, hair, clothes, if you get alot of attention..... etc. But in essence.... it's not YOUR problem. Don't focus too much on other people's problems. That'll just bring you down and give you doubt in your heart towards everyone that tries to get close. (Been there, done that, burnt the tshirt and matching drawers)