feel like a hypocrite

[yaya24]

Don't feel bad. Do what you want to do. Its your hair.

 

[curlicarib]

^^52 min has to be a record.

 

[jazii]

awww don't feel like a hypocrite. do what works best for you!

 

[Jhunt-smith]

@ ebaby:: they will understand. we all think the grass is greener on the other side. i know i sure did for a while. but im too much of a wimp to BC or transition. but if you want a relaxer now then go for it. OORRR like other posters, try the divasmooth or the BKT for a while. Or buy a nice wig, or try yarn braids.. Theres a number of opportunities if you would like to keep your natural tresses.

 

[CollegeGrad]

Been there, done that. I was unhappy with my natural hair. I kept going back and forth but when it came down to it, I preferred straight hair. So I texlaxed.

If it's something you want to do, go for it.

 

[gissellr78]

I transitioned in 07 and went fully natural in 08. Now after slamming relaxers to family and friends I want to go back. I am not happy with my hair. It has grown a lot but the knots will not stop and its breaking. I have an appt for a press today but I know its not going to last because it never does. I really want to change to a relaxer but I said i would never go back and now I want to...

Well all i can say is say to them. Natural right now is not working for me and my lifestyle and i want to give relaxed hair another try..I am sure that you mention it at a relaxed setting casually it will be fine and if not WHO CARES..admit you want to relax and if it doesnt work natural will be fine to.

HHG

 

[sharifeh]

aww you're human, you made a mistake; it's ok,
why don't u bkt again?

 

[RMichelleM]

i say just do what you feel.

sounds like you're gonna catch hell for whatever you choose so you might as well make the choice that makes you happiest.

 

[Almaz]

Well now you have more hair to relax. That should be a lesson to all the natural nazis out there

Do what is best for you

 

[Dacia38]

Girl...do what makes you happy. If you are not feeling your current hair-do...just change it. And if you do decide to relax get a cute hairstyle and walk up in the next family event like you own the place That's what I'd do. You may have to eat a little humble pie, but dang it you'll look damn good eating it.

~Dee

 

[Lola Laughs]

^^52 min has to be a record.

I know. Reset the counter: "0 days without incident". erplexed

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Wait, can I get a PM. what happened to the thread?

OP, what did you decide?

 

[PearlyCurly]

@ bolded - Why not?

Not to derail the thread but I want to know the answer to that question too. I keep reading similar statements on this board. I don't quite understand how someone's natural hair cannot be for them..maybe I'm just not fully understanding the statement?

Hmmm well some ppl just arent God gave it to you but that doesnt mean you have to keep it "that way". There are so many things that ppl alter that god has given them and its NOT JUST HAIR, god gave me bigger breast and i would like a reduction in the future because they give me back pain, hanger shoulders, and a bad posture. God gave my friend dark colored hair but she dyes it blonde, god gave me eyes but i also was "blessed" with astigmatism hopefully i can alter that with Lasik surgery, God also gave my cousin brown eyes but she faithfully wears her grey contact lenses! And aint nothing wrong with that

So basically what i was originally trying to say is theres plenty of women on here with beautiful relaxed or texlaxed hair, obviously they are doing well with their chemically altered hair. And if they wanted to keep it that way until their 10ft under, Im pretty sure god will forgive them I just wished that more ppl would accept that some are better off with a little creamy crack and some are better off with their god given hair.

And I want to apologize to the OP for hijacking her thread, i didnt expect what i typed to be such a big problem, i seen the other thread that another ^^^ made(i wish that person would have PM me instead). I just want to say something to defend my 8 little words. I will not reply to anyone else about what i said, i dont think it is a big deal, and i will not change my opinion about it.

 

[longhairlover]

your not a hypocrite! you just found that natural is not for you. it's not that serious really.
do what you want.

natural hair alot of the times is not for everyone, if a person decides they prefer relaxed hair because in the end it is waaaay easier to deal with then that is their preference why question it?

it's a person's perogative and an individual shouldn't have to provide a 300 word essay on why they feel the way they do.

 

[BostonMaria]

Why let pride get in the way? If you were judgmental about relaxed hair and now you're changing your mind, hey you're not the first nor the last. I say do what you think is right for you and forget about what people will say.

I can't tell you what you should say to your friends and family, but I think that right now just concentrate on yourself. You can't concentrate on other people's hair and what they're doing because you'll drive yourself crazy.

Oh and if BKT worked for you before maybe you can do it again? If not, hey there's tons of resources on this website that can help you on how to maintain your relaxed hair. Good luck.

 

[Nayna]

I just say if you do relax again just keep your head high and ignore the comments; because I know if someone bashed me for my choices and then turned around and did them I'd feel compelled to kindly remind them about how judgmental they were.

 

[Traycee]

Girl do you !!! I have been natural and relaxed...I do what feels good at the moment

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

who cares about what you told other folks? you don't owe them jack. they have their own hair and can do to it whatever they please, and you can do the same. go ahead and relax it.

eta: if you're worried about them smirking and makin remarks about you being a 'relaxer hater' in the past, so what?! you have the right to change your mind about anything at any time so they can get over it. ♥

 

[Raspberry]

Natural hair is not for everyone, because some people simply don't like it. I'd rather have them relax than hear them complain all damn day about their hair, but thats just me

I definitely agree with this Yes, some people just need better techniques and advice with their natural hair but there is a point where some will never be happy with being natural. I say just relax if need be, no reason to be miserable over something that is not life or death and can be changed relatively easily. All that energy put into seeing a hair style as a moral conflict could be spent feeling good and lookin cute lol.

 

[LadyRaider]

Can you just flat iron or press for a while? Nothing wrong with relaxing, but it's very PERMANENT.

 

[dynamic1]

If your hair is breaking because of improper maintenance, a relaxer may not resolve the issue...not yet. Relaxers should not be applied to damaged hair. I would work on getting my hair in good condition, prior to relaxing. If you are tired of dealing with it and lack time, try some other styling options (braids, sew in).

Before getting a relaxer based on stressful events or outside pressure, you should ask yourself a few questions. Did you enjoy relaxed hair? Do you think you can maintain it or will you still be short on time? Perhaps you could find a good stylist to maintain your natural or relaxed hair for you.

How exactly did you slam relaxers to family & friends? Were your comments based on hair health, conformity, etc.? Or did you tell them they hated themselves? Because if it is the later, you may have a hard time. If it is the former, then not a big deal. Plenty of people believe something may not be good for them but continue to do it.

The statement "natural hair may not be for everyone" stems from lack of familiarity. Most relaxed at a young age and never cared for their natural hair. They are accustomed to caring for relaxed hair or even the look of relaxed hair. It is easier for some to go back to what they know best.

You can always relax and you can always go natural again. However, you have to maintain both. Even if you never slammed relaxers, people might have a lot to say because of their feelings about natural hair. A lot of people on hair boards have slammed relaxers and changed their minds. There are a few that get the side-eye based on their former intolerance. Heck, I can remember some now-naturals that flipped the script too.

 

[newbiemom]

You a shouldn't feel bad about how you wear your hair. If you choose to be heat sraightened, relaxed or natural it is your decison and only a styling choice not anyone elses business. If you like your hair better straight Relax and be happy.

 

[Raspberry]

I just say if you do relax again just keep your head high and ignore the comments; because I know if someone bashed me for my choices and then turned around and did them I'd feel compelled to kindly remind them about how judgmental they were.

I agree - you're just gonna have to suck it up OP if you relax and get "I told you so" comments. Be willing to laugh at yourself, admit wrongdoing, and be honest about your experiences, people will respect you more for it.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I transitioned in 07 and went fully natural in 08. Now after slamming relaxers to family and friends I want to go back. I am not happy with my hair. It has grown a lot but the knots will not stop and its breaking. I have an appt for a press today but I know its not going to last because it never does. I really want to change to a relaxer but I said i would never go back and now I want to...

It's a Woman's Perrogative to: "Change Her Mind"

You tried being Natural. It's not working for you. You're considering your Options.

Do what is best for you, your lifestyle and most of all your hair.

 

[catgurl]

OP, my advice is different .....

I think you should try a low maintenance Protective Style (e.g. box braids, kinky twist, sew in, etc.) before relaxing. Once you relax, if you change your mind again you will have to BC and start over. BCs are not good for reaching hair growth goals lol!

I have been natural off and on for 15 years but during this time I've had 3 unplanned and undesired BCs most due to lack of knowledge on how to take care of my hair but the last time due to illness. Recently, I grew my hair from 1/4" to just above APL in 2 years by wearing wigs and braid extentions while recovering from illness. And now I've found LHCF so no more setbacks!

FTR, I am *not* against relaxing but you will still need to find time to take care of your hair. I say this because you mentioned that you've been ill and can't take care of your hair as much as you would like. Relaxing is not a short cut.

IMHO, braids extensions are a great low maintenance style and simple to look after the health of your hair at the same time.

Stand tall whatever you decide.

 

[queen928]

Well OP...you are not alone. I was pushing natural hair when I first did the bc too. Thought I would never relax again. After 5 years of being natural I relaxed again. I just got bored with it and I'm a 4c so my hair was always a battle. It was nice when I had it but I don't regret going back to the relaxer at all. Do what you think is best for you and your hair.

 

[sheba1]

Hey Lady,

I wish you much love and speedy recovery during this time.

Whether natural or relaxed, your friends and family love you and will have your best interests at heart.

For me, my hubby's opinion would have a larger weight than others. And it actually seems like you genuinely miss your relaxed hair. If that's the case, then go for it. It won't be as hard as you think to explain the change. Just make sure you're congruent with your decision and it will all come into place.

 

[taj]

Girl just go back! You made a mistake, it happens. However, it should be a lesson learned that criticizing people for choices they've made is wrong. YOU can do whatever YOU like but, it's not right to infringe or force your beliefs upon someone else.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Girl just do you, it is no right or wrong way, I have been natural, relaxed & now texlaxed, I am much happier being texlaxed & stretching, I get to keep my big hair with ease, I don't like shrinkage at all, and I was tired of trying to find something to keep my hair soft and moist, shea butter is not an option LOL!! but do whatever you want to do with your hair!

 

[Irresistible]

This is why I always think , when the 'over zealous' newly naturals are at it

'Just stay natural a little while longer'

Do whatever makes you happy girl!