Fearful of Relaxer, But Want One

[MissMed07]

Hello Ladies,

New to Long Hair Care Forum and wanted some advice.
I currently have waist length natural hair. I typically wear my hair in a weave 6-9 mos out of the year. I am no longer on a journey to make my hair grow; I am now more concerned about retaining length.

The reason I am consistently in weaves is due to the difficulty on maintaining my natural hair. Considering it's length, thickness, and texture (4A/B) it is diffucult to maintain an active lifestyle. It literally takes me neearly two hours to flat iron my hair (because of the thickness and length) and considering the time to wash and deep condition, doing my hair could be a half day process.

My stylist suggested a mild relaxer to texturize my hair to make it more manageable. She suggested leaving it on long enough to loosen the curl, but not to make it bone straight.

Considering the knowledge that you ladies possess, I wanted to know your genuine thoughts on whether I should consider mild chemical processing for my hair.

Thanks!

 

[Raspberry]

You could certainly get a texturizer - though careful application is key to make sure the results are consistent over time.

However, since your natural hair is so long, have you tried washing your hair in large braids and air-drying? I'm sure the resulting braid-out would look great. You could soak up the excess water with microfiber towels or turbans, those were staples for me when I was natural.

When you say "active lifestyle" are you talking about frequent work-outs?

 

[MissMed07]

Sad to say but I don't really know what a braid out is. I think I have seen them done with relaxed hair but never with natural hair.

And yes, by active I mean fitness. I cicruit train and kickbox 5-6 times a week. And after some of the bootcamp classes I attend I am POURING sweat. Which is no problem with my weave, but will be once I take it out.

 

[Raspberry]

Yea, whether natural or relaxed sweating a lot usually means a carefully planned regimen. I prefer to wash my hair frequently when working out and as a relaxed head rely on co-washing and specific air drying techniques so I can avoid using too much heat. When I was natural I kept my hair twisted a lot - I would wash with the twists or braids in and bantu knot or braid them together for some type of style after my hair dried.

A braidout happens when you set your hair in braids of any size after a wash or overnight and undo them when dry or in the morning. The results vary according to your texture and the size of the braids used. Washing in braids is a way to keep your hair stretched and prevent excess tangles during the wash & style process. This thread by @Nonie should help: How I Wash In Braids

Braidout Example:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=584699

 

[Lila25]

Don't do it!!

Ok, I'm only cautioning you because of my relaxer disaster I had back in November 2009. It takes time and patience to take care of relaxed hair too. Yes you can wear straighter styles easier in the spring and summer months, but humidity can still puff up relaxed hair and you will need to adjust your hair care regimine and products accordingly.

I'm not an advocate for relaxers, done with all chemicals, but if you must get some sort of treatment, to loosen your curl, especially as a 4A, try Henna..I just did a henna and indigo treatment, love the color and it loosened my 4B hair, not a lot, but it's easier to detangle.

I agree with the other posters, try a very very very light texturizer... Don't let that stylist leave that mess in longer than 10 minutes or less!!!!! You want to relax your curl with a texturizer, not totally straighten it.

Tell them to keep washing with neutralizing shampoo until you feel confident they got all the chemicals out... With waste length hair, you have a lot of hair to work with, so don't let them cut corners!!

good luck with your decision.. If you feel uncomfortable with what the stylist is doing, get up outta that seat!!!! It takes too long to grow out a healthy head of hair all to let someone destroy it in a matter of minutes...

 

[westNDNbeauty]

MissMed07

Everytime I go to the gym I'm thankful my hair is natural!

Honestly, as a 4a natural who also works out, if my hair was WL, I don't think texlaxing would be my go to resolution. Texlaxed or natural, your hair will still be waist length which I suspect is the reason for the long styling sessions.

Could it be that you've not took the time to learn your hair in its full glory since you've had it tucked away for so long?

The style in my siggy is what I have been wearing weekly. That is a braid out with curled ends. When I go the gym, I put it in a loose banana clip. I wash once a week and re-style on the wknd. I have a video tutorial on my youtube channel, you can PM me for that link.

 

[Lila25]

@ Rasberry,

Your hair is soo pretty!!! And your now relaxed?? Your hair looks natural.

 

[Raspberry]

Locs were the easiest style for me as far as frequent workouts and washing go. I still had some frustrations with loose natural hair in that area - simply because I got bored with twisted styles and them being fuzzy all the time from all the washing. Wash and gos were a non-option. I sweat buckets from my scalp and get a lot of sebum/dirt buildup... so the itch drives me crazy if I don't at least rinse after a work-out and cleanse my scalp within a day or two.

So for me the advantage of relaxed hair and frequent washes is that I'm happier with my styling options than I was with loose natural hair. If I had waist length natural hair I may have felt differently. Plus I agree with Lila25 that relaxing waist length natural hair should be considered carefully, the OP may very well be happier with a relaxer or texturizer but hopefully all other options are explore first.

@ Rasberry,

Your hair is soo pretty!!! And your now relaxed?? Your hair looks natural.

Oh girl that's not me, that's Moptop Maven (sp?)

 

[MissErikaM]

^^ I think that's MopTopMaven

OP I suggest going in some of the relaxed reggie thread, and seeing what some of the WL relaxed ladies around here are doing. You might find that their reggie would be one you can maintain, or it may be too much for you. Don't let your stylist rush you into anything. Personally, when I am physically active I like to be able to wash my hair often, thus I remain natural, because I can wash with the frequency I would like to.

I would also take some time off from weaving if you can and interact with your hair in its natural state. You may find you like it better out than in weaves. Look up protective styles on YouTube and on here. Good Luck!

 

[Nonie]

@MissMed07, maybe you could send @mwedzi or @Sera a PM to ask them for ideas. (Or maybe their Youtube videos may offer some tips: Sera's videos; Mwedzi's videos. Check out also UrbanBushBabies' vids

Chemicals scare me if you're not really trying to relax your hair but just want to "texturize". Unless you actually use a texturizer whose processing time I think is set to stop at a point, so that you're not guessing on time as you might with a relaxer when texlaxing. I just think when texlaxing it's easy to either underprocess your hair and find it more of a pain--like I've seen some people experience (coz chemicals can lift cuticle and so lead to tangles--recently some people shared how much their relaxed hair tangled more than their natural hair)...or you may overprocess your and not like the limp, complete absence of texture.

I suppose if someone on the forum who's walked that mile and has nice waist-length hair that s/he is happy with can give you good pointers on how to go about it properly, then maybe you'd be OK. But I just feel nervous about this.

Have you seen LongHairDontCare2011's Channel? Her hair is heat-trained but again that's another "risky" process that worked so well for her that she still has texture when her hair is wet. So again, unless you can get explicit directions on how one achieves what she has... :crazy:

I wish you could get Reniece to do your hair. I just think Reniece is the safest stylist to work out a regimen with--even if it involves using heat. I remember Mwedzi being more and more frustrated with her hair, the longer it got because of how much work it was to deal with, that she considered relaxing. But I think working with Reniece, she's found a regimen that works for her because I haven't seen posts of frustration lately. BTW, Reniece's hair is beautiful too and her hair journey very inspiring.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

MissMed07 first of all I'd LOVE to see a pic of your WL natural hair!

Second, considering that you're so active, I would recommend mini braids, they're absolutely perfect for someone with an active lifestyle, you can wash/rinse them as often as you like and they last several months at a time. Here's a pic of some I did two years ago (I need to do it again, about that time for a break!)

Finally, I second those that recommend braid outs. What you can do is work out in medium sized braids, sweat all you like, then rinse/wash or whatever (while in braids) allow to airdry and just continue to do that each time you hit the gym.

 

[Lila25]

@ Raspberry,

Oops! Well your hair sounds pretty the way you described it!

 

[anon123]

Hello Ladies,

New to Long Hair Care Forum and wanted some advice.
I currently have waist length natural hair. I typically wear my hair in a weave 6-9 mos out of the year. I am no longer on a journey to make my hair grow; I am now more concerned about retaining length.

The reason I am consistently in weaves is due to the difficulty on maintaining my natural hair. Considering it's length, thickness, and texture (4A/B) it is diffucult to maintain an active lifestyle. It literally takes me neearly two hours to flat iron my hair (because of the thickness and length) and considering the time to wash and deep condition, doing my hair could be a half day process.

My stylist suggested a mild relaxer to texturize my hair to make it more manageable. She suggested leaving it on long enough to loosen the curl, but not to make it bone straight.

Considering the knowledge that you ladies possess, I wanted to know your genuine thoughts on whether I should consider mild chemical processing for my hair.

Thanks!

Hi Do you normally wear your hair flat ironed? Is there a reason why you don't wear natural styles?

I don't know your texture exactly. I am natural, 4b, and waist length. I also work out 3 times a week and wash weekly.

I'm always struggling . I think the best regimen is Southernbella. 's She straightens monthly and wears natural hair the rest of the time. She says this really helps to cut down on single strand knots, which in turn helps with tangling. Is tangling your problem?

@MissMed07, maybe you could send @mwedzi or @Sera a PM to ask them for ideas. (Or maybe their Youtube videos may offer some tips: Sera's videos; Mwedzi's videos. Check out also UrbanBushBabies' vids

Chemicals scare me if you're not really trying to relax your hair but just want to "texturize". Unless you actually use a texturizer whose processing time I think is set to stop at a point, so that you're not guessing on time as you might with a relaxer when texlaxing. I just think when texlaxing it's easy to either underprocess your hair and find it more of a pain--like I've seen some people experience (coz chemicals can lift cuticle and so lead to tangles--recently some people shared how much their relaxed hair tangled more than their natural hair)...or you may overprocess your and not like the limp, complete absence of texture.

I suppose if someone on the forum who's walked that mile and has nice waist-length hair that s/he is happy with can give you good pointers on how to go about it properly, then maybe you'd be OK. But I just feel nervous about this.

Have you seen LongHairDontCare2011's Channel? Her hair is heat-trained but again that's another "risky" process that worked so well for her that she still has texture when her hair is wet. So again, unless you can get explicit directions on how one achieves what she has... :crazy:

I wish you could get Reniece to do your hair. I just think Reniece is the safest stylist to work out a regimen with--even if it involves using heat. I remember Mwedzi being more and more frustrated with her hair, the longer it got because of how much work it was to deal with, that she considered relaxing. But I think working with Reniece, she's found a regimen that works for her because I haven't seen posts of frustration lately. BTW, Reniece's hair is beautiful too and her hair journey very inspiring.

Mayne, I stopped complaining cuz my complaining was getting me nowhere! Reniece is amazing, though. She's a busy woman, though. Our collective immediate goal is to help me get to fully detangling my hair by blow drying it with a comb attachment. Here's to hope! I just came back from her Saturday where she blew it out and I immediately put it into 25 braids to keep it from tangling.

Reniece, like the OP, wears her hair in a weave most of the time because it's easier.

 

[sunnieb]

Hi OP, um can we see some pics of all that purty hair???

I absolutely love all things related to relaxed hair! My relaxed hair is thriving since finding LHCF. If it's something you want to do, I say go for it! Getting a relaxer isn't the death of your hair.

However, it kinda feels like you don't want to. Do you feel pressured by your stylist? Wait a while before making a decision. This board will be here to help you either way.

 

[beloved1bx]

There's an LCHF member on here who recently started a new blog, and she's seems to be a waist length natural. I'm not sure of her hair type, nor can i remember her name on here...maybe someone else will chime in. But you should take a look at her blog: http://naturalhairinfo.com/1/previous/2.html she has some nice braidouts.

You should also poke around on the site a bit more. There are some texlaxed ladies on the board, that love being texlaxed and might be more helpful to you. Hopefully they'll meander in here at some point. That's a lot of hair to process, so you should let the idea marinate for a bit and make sure you're comfortable with it.